For awhile, I just kept it to myself (I would say about 6 mos) because #1 - I was going to meetings trying to get reinstated and #2 - it was burned in my HEAD that going 'public' with my DFing would only bring reproach on Jehovah's name....so I didn't tell people. Now at around my 7th mos is when things got worse for me (in dealing with the brothers) and I stopped going to mtgs - at that point my parents pretty much gave up ON me and decided they were now going to follow the shunning policy. THAT is when I was done keeping secrets...done being manipulated and controlled - and I finally started telling people "Oh, I was raised in a very strict religious home" or else I would come right out and tell them that I was RAISED a JW (signifying that's not how I was anymore).
babygirl30
JoinedPosts by babygirl30
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29
How long did it take before you started talking to others about being an ex-dub?
by the real life ini was just wondering if any of you took time to speak openly about being an ex-witness.. sometimes, when it came up naturally, i told some of my friends; in other cases, i felt really uncomfortable talking about it.
in fact, it's a little strange, but i felt more comfortable telling casual friends rather than the people closest to me.
i often felt like it was a huge revelation to make, often to find that people weren't really that shocked.
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What is my legacy?
by babygirl30 inas i was cleaning my house last night, i was boxing up all my jw literature i still had out in the open...and i was surprised how there was so much!!
i still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was full over old kms/watchtower & awakes/bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!.
so i throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when i'm done and relaxing, i start thinking about what my legacy will be.
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babygirl30
I was told by the elders that I would be df'd for refusing to obey their orders and stalk a homicidal maniac to prove adultery on his part.
R u kidding me? They TOLD u that? WOW!!! 1 elder on my JC told me "we have chosen to DF you, although I know you probably thought reproof would be the decision, but I KNOW that YOU feel that reproof would not be what you wanted - it woudln't be enough". HUH???????? I must've looked at him like he was nuts cause it wasn't too long after that he called me 'mentally ill' and that I needed to rely more on Jehovah.
Telling you...the MORE I replay the things the elders have SAID and DONE to people (and reading everyone's experiences here) it confirms the reasons why I do not want to go back.
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Watchtower CD
by elder-schmelder indoes anyone have a extra watchtower cd that i could buy?
i dont need the current year, but i would like a newer one (i have 2003).. .
elder-schmelder.
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babygirl30
I JUST found an unopened 2008 cd if you want it (no charge of course)...I'm NOT going to be using anyhow!
By the way - i LOVE Jim Gaffigan (your avatar)!!! He is hilarious.
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15
WHY DO ELDERS LABEL THOSE EXPOSING ERROR AS APOSTATES?
by Fernando infirst topic posted - sorry if it is a bit too long.. why do elders accept this absurd teaching of demons: "anyone rejecting what is not of god, is rejecting god"???.
evidence that these elders - not their victims - are apostates (wolves, weeds, the man of lawlessness, the antichrist, practicers of spiritism).
having gone through extreme adversity and consequently deep spiritual waters our family has come to understand apostasy to fundamentally mean the following:.
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babygirl30
For the SAME reason abusers convince OTHERS (outside the home) that the victim is 'crazy....deranged....mentally ill...and a liar". By doing that, the abuser is able to protect his ego and maintain a good reputation, while making his victim look SO unstable to other people that most won't even question HER or believe what she says. The best way to get others NOT to deal with someone is to negatively 'label' that person so that people are manipulated to the point of NOT wanting to deal with them.
Labeling someone 'apostate' sets them apart from ALL JWs and isolates them. People will believe the org, and they will take a stance against that person...which is sad. It all comes down to control! If you can't control em - threaten em!!!! (the abusers mantra)
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Some of the things they say...
by AwSnap ini spoke with a jw recently...we were shooting the breeze and i joked what a rebel i am & he said "we recently had a great watchtower on that very topic, how so many people in the world are rebellious these days and how jehovah looks at that.
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babygirl30
I always remember my mom telling me the same thing: "It's amazing how no matter WHAT goes on, an article or a talk comes up at the RIGHT time and it can only be Jehovah". She would throw that in my face all the time.
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What is my legacy?
by babygirl30 inas i was cleaning my house last night, i was boxing up all my jw literature i still had out in the open...and i was surprised how there was so much!!
i still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was full over old kms/watchtower & awakes/bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!.
so i throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when i'm done and relaxing, i start thinking about what my legacy will be.
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babygirl30
Your Legacy is yours to define and execute. I wish you much success in this endeavour. Have you given any thoughts to what it might include?
You're right! Since being DF'd, I've really gotten 'involved' in areas of society that I NEVER would've before because it was just NOT what JWs do!! I volunteer with the Domestic Violence coalition here in my area, I joined a tennis league and they play on what USED to be my mtg nights (oooohhh - hahahahahah!), and I am following a career path that would NEVER be approved by JWs. So I feel successful to a degree, and I know i am a good person and all...it's just every once in a awhile I get the crazy 'thought' reminding me that JWs do not and would not think very highly of me NOW all because of a title. If I were to die tomorrow, there are tons of people who like me for me and couldn't say 1 bad thing about me. But none of that matters to JWs ... my legacy to THEM is defined by that ugly title (DF'd). That hurts.
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15
What is my legacy?
by babygirl30 inas i was cleaning my house last night, i was boxing up all my jw literature i still had out in the open...and i was surprised how there was so much!!
i still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was full over old kms/watchtower & awakes/bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!.
so i throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when i'm done and relaxing, i start thinking about what my legacy will be.
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babygirl30
The thing is...I have plenty of non-JW friends! I always have...hahahahaha. Even when the society said "avoid bad association" I STILL was hanging out with and making friends outside the org. For some reason, that was 1 area that I towed the line because I seemed to find genuine people out there in the 'world' and was not about to be a snob and NOT deal with them. So of course when I was DF'd, it wasn't AS hard for me to have people to associate with - which I'm grateful for. If you ask THOSE friends (my real ones) what kind of person I am - they will tell you good things about me. But if you were to ask a JW (now since I've been DF'd) what kind of person I was - I guarantee it would involve the typical "Oh - she is DF'd".
UGH!!!!!!!!!
My bf and all my non-JW friends really have shown me unconditional love and support. This board does too! Im able to vent and really talk about how I feel and what I go through - and others can relate. It's just crazy to think that I am defined (by JWs) as 'less then' and that they are convinced that God feels the SAME WAY about me! -hahahahaha. Doesn't make a bit of sense to me.
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15
What is my legacy?
by babygirl30 inas i was cleaning my house last night, i was boxing up all my jw literature i still had out in the open...and i was surprised how there was so much!!
i still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was full over old kms/watchtower & awakes/bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!.
so i throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when i'm done and relaxing, i start thinking about what my legacy will be.
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babygirl30
As i was cleaning my house last night, I was boxing up all my JW literature I still had out in the open...and I was surprised how there was so much!! I still had the videos in plain view, my bookshelf in my computer room was FULL over old KMs/Watchtower & Awakes/Bibles, and found my old mtg and service bags still full of literature too!
So I throw the majority of it out, box up the rest, and then when I'm done and relaxing, I start thinking about what my legacy will be. Im 31, before being DF'd I was what I thought was the 'model' JW...I pioneered, I was on 2 RBC groups, I was well known in my circuit (born and bred there), and had tons of friends from all states visiting me on a regular basis. Was always invited to gatherings all over the place, always had dinner parties at my own home, and was forever traveling somewhere to another area and making tons of friends there!!
I did EVERYTHING I was supposed to as a JW...highly recommended and respected. And now, after making a mistake, I will forever be remembered as 'disfellowshipped'. THAT is my legacy!!! Despite everything I did in the org, and no matter how many people supposedly loved and cared about me, no matter how good my heart is and the hardship I went through - I will always be known as "the sister that was disfellowshipped". That makes me angry to think that people will judge me based on what they ASSUME I did (not that they actually know what happened to me and with me) and feel they have the right to look down on me because of it all. I didn't kill anyone, I didn't commit grand theft, I didn't defraud anyone, I don't smoke, never did a drug in my life, and don't overdrink to the point of being intoxicated. Yes I still broke a 'rule' and committed fornication - but that is WHAT I did - it's not WHO I am nor should I be held up to that for the rest of my life all because 3 men felt that I wasn't repentant DESPITE me going forward to them on my own initiative and confessing everything. So those 3 men had the power the make or break my life as I knew it and they chose to break it...so now I am left with this 'scarlet letter' to signify that I WAS good (in JW eyes) at 1 point but now am not.
Just venting. Thanks for reading.
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meetings in insane situations
by highdose inmy cong was very keen on having the meeting no matter what.
i remember one occasion when we had a power cut in the middle of winter.
due to the fact that there was no windows to the hall (!
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babygirl30
I always felt it was 'crazy' to see JW's out in the ministry in the freezing cold, snow, or pouring rain. I mean COME ON...people think JW's are nuts anyways, and that type of behavior only perpetuates thos thoughts.
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My Worldly" Aunt...
by jamiebowers incalled to let me know that she had it out with a jw relative about her nasty attitude.
my dear auntie was so worked up that she said to the jw, "not one jw i've ever known is happy!".
it's not as funny in written form as it was to hear her exclaiming this over the phone.
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babygirl30
I remember when I was a rank and file and even for 3 years after being disfellowshipped, I thought the shunning was out of love. I just felt like I was bad and was confused as to why I couldn't fix myself and feel close to God. I didnt feel comfortable even talking with other Df'd people. I now see as it as sort of a blessing in disguise. I don't know how many more years I would have devoted to the Watchtower if I wouldn't have made the "mistakes" I did to be kicked out. Also, the way in which the JC handled it seemed okay and "loving" at the time, but as I began to see more clearly I saw how messed up it all was. This helped when I started sorting things out in my head. Not saying it's a good thing.. just trying to remember what it was to think like a rank and file member about Dfing.
That is exactly how I USED to feel...like getting kicked OUT of the 1 place I counted on HELPING me - was an act of 'love' on Jehovah's part! BOO HISS!!!! I'm sorry, but being out NOW and reasoning on that statement, it really shows no compassion or real love on Jehovah's part. My situation was really messed up (involved abuse) - so - that meant that Jehovah loved ME so much that he disposed of ME, yet allowed my abuser to continue in his org as if nothing happened - accepted by all? Or that Jehovah is the kindof God that would deem my LIFE worthless enough to toss me out of his cong despite there being threats on my life and my safety? WOW! Even sadder is that we didnt see all of this till we were out...and felt it was ok to finally think for ourselves. Makes me sad that I treated other DF'd JWs this way when I was still in the org - ignoring them, judging them, looking at them as if it was what they deserved because it was supposedly Jehovah's way of showing 'love' to that person. UGH!