Posts by babygirl30

40

WHY am I the last to know?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

about 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because i refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were now going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos!

i was upset, but accepted it.

although their method was harsh!

babygirl30

the bright side is you boyfriend would never be sweet talked round into wanting to join, he'll probably tell his friends how youre treated if they ever mention jws. it all helps to vaccinate people from wanting to join, even if it does suck.

My parents KNOW about my bf and have been on my case about NOT telling him what was all going on with me (being DF'd and why) because they were afraid it would bring reproach on Jehovah's name and that I would be 'bloodguilty' IF I didn't witness to him...

What they failed to realize was that he WANTED to learn more about JWs back in the day. He was going through a 'rough' time and was all into 'finding God' ... and he knew I was really religious. But NOW...oh HELL no. His mom knows what's happened to me, our friends know what's happened, and he TELLS people about it too (sad part is BECAUSE of it, he's never met my parents)!!! He loves telling people THAT too...about how they won't meet him because he is not a JW and I am 'dead' to them. -hahahahahaha. So it's no secret between us about it all. Ironic how many others are affected BY the JW policy of shunning - because inevitably no matter whom we mention JWs and how I'm shunned to...someone knows an ex-JW or is related to an ex-JW that was treated thes ame way, and they talk about it with disgust and disbelief.

10

What does a congregations 'record' say about it?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

the cong i belonged to was very large...it was the 'popular' hall!

i say that because it was a new building (double-khall), a lot of families went to this hall whether they were in the territory or not - if their relation went there or their 'friends' were in this cong - they came too!

lots of young couples...they drank together, they partied together, they go out clubbing together, and they all had their kids together.

babygirl30

The cong I belonged to was very large...it was the 'popular' hall! I say that because it was a new building (double-khall), a lot of FAMILIES went to this hall whether they were in the territory or not - if their relation went there or their 'friends' were in this cong - THEY came too! Lots of young couples...they drank together, they partied together, they go out clubbing together, and they all had their kids together. UGH!!!!

Anyways, around the time that I was going through my issues with my abusive ex JW fiance...a LOT of things were going on in that cong. UNHAPPY couples (you could see it on their faces), elders wives NOT coming to mtgs at all (not due to illness either...), a pioneer had a nervous breakdown RIGHT IN THE KHALL during the mtg - and was sitting in the front row too!, several others reg pioneers came off the list, I got DF'd, another older sister whose been in the org for 25yrs walked away and refuses to go back because of how she was treated terribly by the elders in dealing with her divorce from her adulterous abusive 'elder' exhusband, 2 other young sisters were DF'd - 1 before and the other after me, and lastly a 'newly' baptized sister also just walked away...literally 6 mos AFTER she was baptized AND on the platform giving her experience at a C.A!!! From what I hear, she got sick of how hypocritcal the young people were in the org...and she felt she could do BETTER in the world.

That's a LOT of people all in the SAME cong...and a ton of drama. So when there are that many issues in 1 cong, who does that reflect badly on: (1) the people who are having the issues, (2) the elders who should be HELPING these ones, or (3) that cong as a whole?

46

Are YOU Shunned By Jehovah's Witnesses At All?

by minimus in

jw
friends

some witnesses speak to me quite normally/.

others avoid me like the plague.. how are you treated by the witnesses?.

babygirl30

someone I was good friends before being a jw who also played a part in making me a jw (shes a jw) will not have anything to do with me anymore. She wrote an email basically saying I worship satan because I do not attend meetings. I am not disfellowshipped and she doesn't know the real reason why I do not attend anymore

See....that is my point!!! Instead of demeaning someone and judging them (accusing you of worshiping Satan? REALLY??? That's all she could come up with???) WHY could she not just try to see WHY you stopped going, WHAT changed your mind, etc. She proved the whole 'conditional' love issue right there. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

46

Are YOU Shunned By Jehovah's Witnesses At All?

by minimus in

jw
friends

some witnesses speak to me quite normally/.

others avoid me like the plague.. how are you treated by the witnesses?.

babygirl30

Can you imagine Christ seeing any one of us and refusing to look at us? Can you imagine Christ treating us as if we didn't exist, and were dead?

Ya know...I never really thought about THAT!! The perfect being that he is...I cannot even imagine him just 'pretending' not to notice someone at all. I mean he APPROACHED harlots, murderers, criminals - not turn away from them. WOW! Really good point there.

40

WHY am I the last to know?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

about 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because i refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were now going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos!

i was upset, but accepted it.

although their method was harsh!

babygirl30

Journey-On

You're right...I have had to calm him down NUMEROUS times this past year over running up on my father and telling him off!!! This last episode was the icing on the cake. But once he calms down and we talk through things, he ends up changing his mind and just letting it GO...for my sake. I love my parents (don't like them though) and my father and I were CLOSE before my being DF'd happened. Even afterwards he still talked to me and was helping me out. All until I stopped coming to mtgs, and the elders would question THEM about my whereabouts and how they hoped to see me soon. At one point a visiting C.O. stayed with my folks - and that was what I think turned things around for the worst...cause right after that is when they made the choice to shun me.

Guess I'm upset because I should have EXPECTED this from my mom ... but not my dad. HE is the independent thinker in our house, HE is the one that likes control and doesn't do well being told what to do or how to act, HE is the one the has non-JW friends he spends weekends golfing with and spending a lot of time with his non-JW family. So it kinda throws me OFF that he is acting this way now.

40

WHY am I the last to know?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

about 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because i refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were now going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos!

i was upset, but accepted it.

although their method was harsh!

babygirl30

this organization will never understand that their “tough love” position has rarely accomplished anything positive, on the contrary is destructive and negative, replacing love and compassion with hatred and division. I’m certain their god is very proud of them!

You nailed it right there!!! I was just talking to my bf and telling him about the 'news' I learned today and he is MAD...he cannot believe that JWs are this 'crazy' (his words) and that my own parents choose THAT over their child. He used to have an interest in studying, but since my being DF'd and hearing the INSIDE version of what happened to me - he has long since changed his mind and now wants nothign to do with the JWs. He is actually dead set on confronting my dad and telling him about 'himself'....which he has up to this point, refrained from doing. He even said "how in the HELL does your family treating you so cruelly supposed to make you WANT to go back and be a JW?" And he's right!!! That type of treatment has me on the opposite side of the spectrum - not wanting to be bothered with anything 'JW' at all!!!!!

40

WHY am I the last to know?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

about 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because i refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were now going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos!

i was upset, but accepted it.

although their method was harsh!

babygirl30

I know....I know....I need to 'get used to it'!

It's just that I didn't think they would be THIS cold. If they want to 'shun' me - so be it. That's is there choice! But to keep me out the loop on how they are doing healthwise? I think that is truly disgusting. What kind of person DOES that....

40

WHY am I the last to know?

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

about 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because i refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were now going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos!

i was upset, but accepted it.

although their method was harsh!

babygirl30

About 2 mos ago...my parents decided that because I refused to continue my 'reinstatement' process and quit going to meetings - that they were NOw going to shun me after having regular contact for 10 mos! I was upset, but accepted it. Although their method was harsh! My father demanded his house key back, they gave me my spare back, and told me I was no longer welcome IN their home. I was also told not to call the house unless it was a life or death emergency.

With all that said, I learned through my non-JW aunt that my mother had knee surgery and was in the hospital a month ago!!! It hurt like HELL To have someone ELSE tell me about my own MOTHER and how bad off she was doing...but of course I accepted it and moved it. Figured it wasn't 'life or death' I guess.

NOW today I am talking to my non-JW cousin, and find out through him that my own DAD has a mild heart attack!!! So my cousin is telling me about this stuff and once again Im HURT! I mean, come on......really? THIS is not what Jehovah wanted for families to be like - no way in heezy he is ok with this, no matter what FDS says in the mags/publications. YES I'm DF'd, but I'm still their daughter...am I not at least entitled to know how they are doing healthwise????????????? If they don't want to associate with me - fine. If they don't want me to come by the house or call - fine. But at least give me the decency of telling me when something is NOT right (someone being sick)! I am so angry right now I could scream.

50

How Much of an Impact is Being Made by Young JW' s Leaving the Cult ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

we have read threads where statistics show that 2 out of every 3 people raised as jehovah's witnesses eventually leave once they get in their 20's to 30's and out on their own.

my children and my nieces and nephews are between the ages of 21 to 35 .

out of those 8 people - 4 of them have completely stopped attending meetings .

babygirl30

My parents gave me the ultimatum - get baptized or leave their house! They made it clear that no 'unbaptized grownup would be living in this house'...so at 14 I took the plunge. I did have a pretty strong group of friends in the org, and almost all of them are still 'in'. BUT, 90% of them are in UNHAPPY marriages or divorced, not even 3 of them are MS's or elders, and the rest are still part of the org but inactive.

I think with MY generation (25-35)...technology and college have taken over. The economy is SO bad that it's near impossible to get a job without an education - so they are foregoing pioneering and service for SCHOOL! College has taught us to 'think' and to 'question'...and so this generation is NOT easily snowed (like our parents generation may have been). Even thought things have seemed to lighten up (2 mtg days instead of 3...less hours for pioneers...shorter mtg lengths) - it still hasn't drawn in the numbers of younger people as expected.

9

DF'd Loyalists Who Face Blood Issue

by sd-7 in

jw
friends

anyone know of a case of someone who was df'd, then had an emergency that required a blood transfusion?

let's say they're still loyal to wt and don't want it.

do the elders come to the hospital and stick up for them, or, because they're "no longer one of jehovah's witnesses", they just leave 'em to get pumped full of blood or to die by their own choice, since either way, they can't take judicial action anyway?

babygirl30

I wondered about this myself...I'm still on the fence about the blood issue, and was curious WHAT would happen if I needed it? Would the HLC (hospital liason comm) come support me or 'speak' for me? Would my own parents come? It's so NUTS to put someone in such a position all because they are DF'd...