Thanks for the replies all. It felt nice to talk about that and have other folks share their experiences. Maybe I should have posted here earlier instead of lurking for 7 years...
Lemon_Lime_Shasta
JoinedPosts by Lemon_Lime_Shasta
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25
Inability to develop close connections with others
by Lemon_Lime_Shasta inhi all, i'm still pretty new here, but i wanted to talk about something more substansive than low quality generic soda brands (my first post and my logon name).. of all the negative side effects of my dub past, the one that still haunts me the most is my complete inability to develop any sort of depth in my relationships with others.
i'm not one to blame all my personal problems on the wbts, but i can't help but feel that it was a significant contributing factor.
i still hate talking about my past, and i work very hard to hide all aspects of my jw past from anyone i meet.
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Inability to develop close connections with others
by Lemon_Lime_Shasta inhi all, i'm still pretty new here, but i wanted to talk about something more substansive than low quality generic soda brands (my first post and my logon name).. of all the negative side effects of my dub past, the one that still haunts me the most is my complete inability to develop any sort of depth in my relationships with others.
i'm not one to blame all my personal problems on the wbts, but i can't help but feel that it was a significant contributing factor.
i still hate talking about my past, and i work very hard to hide all aspects of my jw past from anyone i meet.
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Lemon_Lime_Shasta
Thanks Miss Bohm!
Yes, I shouldn't worry even if someone would think different of me after I told them, since that is just a silly thing to do. I'm not that person anymore so if they think of me that way, they are the one with a problem...
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25
Inability to develop close connections with others
by Lemon_Lime_Shasta inhi all, i'm still pretty new here, but i wanted to talk about something more substansive than low quality generic soda brands (my first post and my logon name).. of all the negative side effects of my dub past, the one that still haunts me the most is my complete inability to develop any sort of depth in my relationships with others.
i'm not one to blame all my personal problems on the wbts, but i can't help but feel that it was a significant contributing factor.
i still hate talking about my past, and i work very hard to hide all aspects of my jw past from anyone i meet.
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Lemon_Lime_Shasta
Hi Zid, thanks for the welcome.
I really think that a group like the JWs acts like an amplifier for a wide variety of negative personality traits, including introversion and social withdraw.
There weren't many social opportunities. for us. When I was little I used to get so excited for the congregation picnic when I was a kid. That only happend once a year, wasn't anything that special, and was taken away from us eventually as well. Wow, I was really sheltered, I even got excited for the bus ride to the DC because I got to hang out with kids my age outside the walls of the KH.
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Inability to develop close connections with others
by Lemon_Lime_Shasta inhi all, i'm still pretty new here, but i wanted to talk about something more substansive than low quality generic soda brands (my first post and my logon name).. of all the negative side effects of my dub past, the one that still haunts me the most is my complete inability to develop any sort of depth in my relationships with others.
i'm not one to blame all my personal problems on the wbts, but i can't help but feel that it was a significant contributing factor.
i still hate talking about my past, and i work very hard to hide all aspects of my jw past from anyone i meet.
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Lemon_Lime_Shasta
You are very right Simon, I do need to go out and meet new people. It's tough to find my place in this new town, but I am trying. It won't happen overnight I suppose, but I need to learn to enjoy the searching process I guess...
You made me think about my past a bit with your post. I never had many friends in the congregation either. My parents never encourged me to socialize much outside of my family, no doubt that is a major contributing factor as well. They never trusted the other dubs to associate with their kids, and certainly didn't trust the worldly neighborhood kids.
I did find a way to connect with folks thoughout college and young adulthood, but it seems to becomming harder and harder as I get older...
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would you ever forget your life as a JW?
by highdose inand would you want to?
its starting to seem like a distent memory for me, even though its only been a year.
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Lemon_Lime_Shasta
I wish that service from "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" actually existed to wipe out my dub past...
...but that isn't possible. So I try to take from it what I can learn about myself and do the best to build a better life on the outside.
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Inability to develop close connections with others
by Lemon_Lime_Shasta inhi all, i'm still pretty new here, but i wanted to talk about something more substansive than low quality generic soda brands (my first post and my logon name).. of all the negative side effects of my dub past, the one that still haunts me the most is my complete inability to develop any sort of depth in my relationships with others.
i'm not one to blame all my personal problems on the wbts, but i can't help but feel that it was a significant contributing factor.
i still hate talking about my past, and i work very hard to hide all aspects of my jw past from anyone i meet.
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Lemon_Lime_Shasta
Hi all, I'm still pretty new here, but I wanted to talk about something more substansive than low quality generic soda brands (my first post and my logon name).
Of all the negative side effects of my Dub past, the one that still haunts me the most is my complete inability to develop any sort of depth in my relationships with others. I'm not one to blame all my personal problems on the WBTS, but I can't help but feel that it was a significant contributing factor. I still hate talking about my past, and I work very hard to hide all aspects of my JW past from anyone I meet. To date I have discussed this matter with less than 10 people (I have been out for over 7 years). I know that if I talk to others about this, they might understand me better, and as a result, we might become closer. However, I am unable to take this step for some reason. I can't get the flawed logic out of my head: "keep your distance, they can't know who you used to be, because that will always frame their perception of you, and they will not want anything to do with you." This isn't the only factor, and I do not doubt that even if I wasn't raised a JW I would still be shy and introspective, but at least I wouldn't feel like I spent my childhood on Mars.
As a result I find myself in adulthood with very few (to almost no) close friends. This has hit me very hard recently since I have moved to a new town where I do not have access to the limited support structure I had there. It wasn't much, but it was more than the absoulely nothing I have now. I still have contact with my family who are all still regular in the congregation. I can't talk to them about any of this since they will no doubt say that my ungodly path is the problem.
I find myself compensating by working excessively long hours at the office, getting half sloshed by myself on a regular basis, and acting like a jerk around what friends I do have.
Anyway, I just wanted to post here to see if anyone else has noted this side effect in their ex-dub lives, and more than anything just get this off my chest in venue where someone might understand...
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Can I interest you in a room temperature "soda"
by Lemon_Lime_Shasta inlong time lurker (like half a decade), first time poster.
it took a post about assembly food to get me to register here.
i think we need to start a project to piece together the menu from an early nineties circuit assembly...would be strangely nostalgic.. i got myself a "worldly" education and took that opportunity to leave "the troof".
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Lemon_Lime_Shasta
Thanks for the welcoming words.
I think you are on to something Rebel8, I think I may follow up on that idea. The first post will be about the subtle flavors of swiss miss pudding that are only experienced when served at -10 degrees.
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Can I interest you in a room temperature "soda"
by Lemon_Lime_Shasta inlong time lurker (like half a decade), first time poster.
it took a post about assembly food to get me to register here.
i think we need to start a project to piece together the menu from an early nineties circuit assembly...would be strangely nostalgic.. i got myself a "worldly" education and took that opportunity to leave "the troof".
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Lemon_Lime_Shasta
I can just barely remember the cafeteria. I always chose the "ala carte" option, pizza, ice cream etc. I didn't know the "good stuff" was over in the other line until the big J decided to provide a loving simplification for all the JWs...
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40
Can I interest you in a room temperature "soda"
by Lemon_Lime_Shasta inlong time lurker (like half a decade), first time poster.
it took a post about assembly food to get me to register here.
i think we need to start a project to piece together the menu from an early nineties circuit assembly...would be strangely nostalgic.. i got myself a "worldly" education and took that opportunity to leave "the troof".
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Lemon_Lime_Shasta
Buritto!
I have a confession to make. I actually liked the JW "hoagies," with the little packet of italian dressing. What is wrong with me? Too much shasta giving me the brain damage?
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40
Can I interest you in a room temperature "soda"
by Lemon_Lime_Shasta inlong time lurker (like half a decade), first time poster.
it took a post about assembly food to get me to register here.
i think we need to start a project to piece together the menu from an early nineties circuit assembly...would be strangely nostalgic.. i got myself a "worldly" education and took that opportunity to leave "the troof".
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Lemon_Lime_Shasta
I wasn't raised in OH, I was "worldy" by the time I moved there. Nice to meet you asilentone, but I ain't changing my name. Shasta power!