Hi , and welcome. Lots of great advice here, I particularly like
kirous wish I had the patience to take a slower approach.
My JW wife constantly reminds me that there is no emergency.
There isn't.
I wouldn't bother with the whole birthday xmas thing just now, they don't matter (especially if you have no kids). Let him get used to the idea (and that you are not going to sprout two heads) I know it's been a while but it sound's like he's going through a process of grieving right now ( I hope you have been through the angry stage!! Eg the old 'expert elder' bit LOL!!!)I guess emember how long it took you to adjust . I don't see, however, why you shouldn't show him some of the reasons you found the org so dubious and there are some great examples on this thread of things taken from only the bible and the wtbts own literature. The live broadcast from the RC of GB member Jackson may be an excellent 'entree'!!
I wish you all the best, I don't see why you're marriage should become a victim of the wbts imho! But only you know the extent to which it's been poisoned by the cult.
PS you didn't mention parents/in laws but whether you choose to fade of d/a I expect will be governed by that. Personally I would try to avoid loosing family but in the end I guess you must do what's right for you. I am glad you have your cousin and I am sorry the elder's gave him such a hard time, so much for consistency. I guess he wasn't married to a ms!