Wow. I had such terrible stark thoughts...that we are essentially alone. That no love is utterly unconditional. Everyone has their breaking point. I read about a wrestler today who murdered his wife and child then killed himself.....he was suffering from end stage Alzheimer's and had the brain of an 85 yr old in his late 30s.
I used to disapprove of stem cell research...using babes parts to help cure a disease of the old....except of course its not only the old. Then when I nursed families with Alzheimer's I realised its the single most god awful cruel disease on this planet.I'm so sorry you have gone through that....your poor mother, it would have killed her to know how she would treat her beloved babies at the end. Try to find it in your heart to forgive her...it sounds insane but your anger is real understandable and utterly valid.
How I hate that disease.🌹