Hi recovering, I'm an active elder now. I was explaining the part of the story before my appointment. I'll explain more in part 4.
tjlibre
JoinedPosts by tjlibre
-
10
Why am I Renouncing My JW Faith...Part 3
by tjlibre indescribing your personality in writing is a challenging task.
they say that body language represents 85% of our communication, obviously you cant see my face as i give this account.
the following might probably make me sound like a prideful person, but ill like to say that im far from that.
-
-
-
10
Why am I Renouncing My JW Faith...Part 2
by tjlibre ini left off on my first posts on this topic with this sentence: one of the big discoveries and the genesis of my semi-apostate ways came one day when i decided to look up some of the books cited in the reasoning from the scriptures book (almost 99% of the works cited by the society were available at the universitys library).
the research that was meant to solidify my faith in the jw religion, actually made the first crack on the foundation of my faith.. .
cont..... .
-
-
tjlibre
Thank you all for your comments. It feels so good to talk about this in an open forum, I’ll continue posting as time allows me.
-
10
Why am I Renouncing My JW Faith...Part 3
by tjlibre indescribing your personality in writing is a challenging task.
they say that body language represents 85% of our communication, obviously you cant see my face as i give this account.
the following might probably make me sound like a prideful person, but ill like to say that im far from that.
-
-
tjlibre
Cont....
How could a person change so suddenly? Isn’t he supposed to be a mature Christian that should be reflecting a Christ like attitude? After so many years of working under his wings, how could he harvest feelings of hatred towards me? Is this the way that a HS appointed person should behave?
My spirit was broken, I dumb down my teaching skills, my talks became doll and dry. I wanted out, I verbally renounced my to my position as a MS. They didn’t let me. I then began to seriously question the validity of the HS works in the Cong. I asked Jehovah to revealed to me the lesson that he was trying to teach me.
What I thought to be his answer came in the form of a new body of elder being form as a result of the suggestion from the CO, a new PO (I’ll call him Org. Man) came to the congregation, changes were made. I later learned that “Sudden Change” elder was blocking my appointment as an elder for many years.
The changes I though would bring about an improvement to the spirit of the BOE, the cong and my shaken confidence in the HS works in the organization, only served as another catalyst that further confirmed to me the need to do a deep soul search and embark on an investigation of the spirit behind the WT organization…
-
10
Why am I Renouncing My JW Faith...Part 3
by tjlibre indescribing your personality in writing is a challenging task.
they say that body language represents 85% of our communication, obviously you cant see my face as i give this account.
the following might probably make me sound like a prideful person, but ill like to say that im far from that.
-
-
tjlibre
Describing your personality in writing is a challenging task. They say that body language represents 85% of our communication, obviously you can’t see my face as I give this account. The following might probably make me sound like a prideful person, but I’ll like to say that I’m far from that. But I’m a confident individual, I work hard at what I do and I like to learn… having said, that my story continues as follows…..
(I’ll call the elder I was fond of Sudden Change elder)
Remember my father’s background, taking the lead is in my genes. I can’t help it. The skills that I developed as a result of a very inquiring mind, coupled with my secular background and teaching experience (at HS level) gain me the reputation of being good JW cong. teacher. I always strived to give good parts, and my objective always was to show balance and love in my words, even when the material was very hard, I’ll find ways to soften the message. The brothers and sisters showed loved and respect towards me, many viewed me as an elder way before being appointment as such.
It latter became evident to me that instead of seeing me as an asset, some member of the BOE where harvesting negative feelings towards me. I’m not going to portrait my self as a victims, in retrospect I feel that at times I should of tame down the way I used to defend myself when I was right, I cornered older elders many times in some discussions regarding policy and procedures. The duplicity found in the WT publication provides with a weapon that can be used against old procedures and stiff shepherding. Quite too often I used this to my advantage, obviously to the dislike of some elders.
The “Sudden Change” elder became the PO, one day he approached me with a decisions that he made that affected me and my wife. Without going into the details, the decision that he made was intended to make my life unreasonably more difficult with demands far beyond the ones called for in my position as a MS. I had a discussion with him, after supporting that I felt that I had the right to object to his demands, the elder went ballistic to the point I got the feeling that he was going to physically hurt me. This episode broke my heart, I cried and felt terrible because he was the last person I expected a reaction like this toward me. I called another elder, explained he situation, arranged a meeting and I apologized to the elder I was fond of (even dough I was right) I did so hoping that we’ll continue having a good relationship. Boy was I wrong…the years that followed this elder embarked on a personal mission to crush my reputation and spirit, in his position as the PO he felt that he had the power to push me around as much as he could. One night after a MS and elders meeting, some of us were hanging around in the KH parking lot, one of the elders said to me in a playful tone “if I were you I would not stand in from of bro. “Sudden Change’s” car, you know he doesn’t like you too much and could run you over”. It was a known fact to the congregation’s “in-the-known” crowd that this brother actually hated me.
-
10
Why am I Renouncing My JW Faith...Part 2
by tjlibre ini left off on my first posts on this topic with this sentence: one of the big discoveries and the genesis of my semi-apostate ways came one day when i decided to look up some of the books cited in the reasoning from the scriptures book (almost 99% of the works cited by the society were available at the universitys library).
the research that was meant to solidify my faith in the jw religion, actually made the first crack on the foundation of my faith.. .
cont..... .
-
-
tjlibre
I left off on my first posts on this topic with this sentence: One of the big discoveries and the genesis of my semi-apostate ways came one day when I decided to look up some of the books cited in the “ Reasoning From the Scriptures” book (almost 99% of the works cited by the society were available at the University’s library). The research that was meant to solidify my faith in the JW religion, actually made the first crack on the foundation of my faith.
Cont....
The first thing I noticed was that many of the quotes that the WT cited were taken out of context. In some instances, the source material actually contradicted the WT’s information. I can’t recall specific examples of the misquoted material, but I remember that they were related to the subjects dealing with the trinity, blood, life after death, 1 st century history, etc. In essence, I felt that the WT was being deceptive, therefore, my confidence in the WT began to weaken. However, like many of us did, I placed these things in the “I don’t want to think about it” folder, and moved on. When we were studying the WT interpretation of Daniel’s prophecy, coincidentally I was taking a course on Western Civilization history. I noticed that in one of the chronological tables on the secular book the date for the destruction of Jerusalem by the Babylonians differed from the date set forth by the WT. This prompt me to investigate this date in more detail, I was soon convinced that the date was 586-587 bce and not 607. Again, I placed this in the “don’t think about it too much” folder and moved on. At this point, it was clear to me that the WT was misleading the flock with erroneous information and misquotations. That’s when I first though of leaving, I was free to leave as I still had the chance nurture a non-JW social circle, I was single…at the end, my departure would have been almost unnoticed and a lot less painful. But like I once said to a poster DubR….I didn’t have the courage to leave when I had the chance. To this date, I still ask myself why did I stay. I know that I’ll get the answer soon.
I continued being a very active member of the congregation, which lead to my appointment as a MS a few months before completing my degree. I turned out to be a decent public speaker, which meant that I was going to other congregations to give talks very often. In my travels I made a lot of JW friends who shared a lot my of interest, I later discovered that there were about 7 or 8 of us (JWs) in the same university during the time that I was going, some of us even had some courses together. So my social JW circle was essentially mixed, some hardcore JW, some sincere dedicated JW and some in the middle, or what I used to call “modern JWs” o la nueva guardia (the new guard). By this time, my feelings towards the JW religion were very moderate, I felt that I could continue living the JW lifestyle for a while.
But a confrontation with an elder whom I admired, respected and worked side by side for many years set loose a chain of event that revealed to me the ugly side of the “truth”. This was the catalyst that ignited my dissolution, and that completely changed the way I viewed the “ones taking the lead” in this organization.
-
6
Why am I Renouncing My JW Faith...( in the spirit of CANTLEAVE posts)
by tjlibre inin the spirit of cantleaves threads titled why would someone like me leave the "truth"?
i felt motivated to write a mini account on why would someone like me leave the truth.
my father was one of the leaders of the socialist movement party in my country of origin, as such, he was influenced by the marxisms view on religion, karl marx once said religion the opiate of the masses.
-
-
tjlibre
In the spirit of cantleave’s threads titled Why Would Someone Like me Leave the "Truth"? I felt motivated to write a mini account on why would someone like me leave the “truth”.
My father was one of the leaders of the Socialist Movement party in my country of origin, as such, he was influenced by the Marxism’s view on religion, Karl Marx once said “Religion the Opiate of the Masses”. Because of this, religion was not an important subject at home. My father had to leave the country due to three attempts to take his life, to his dismay, the only country where he could be safe from his persecutors was the good’ol USA (he hid himself in Germany, Japan and another Latin American country for a short period of time). So, my mother was left to raise 4 children alone (my father made sure that we had financial support while he was in hiding, when thing cooled down, he kept in touch and provided for all of our financial needs). Even though my father was gone, my mother had no religious inclination. So, in essence I grew up in a home with no religion, free to make my own choice sort of speak.
In my pre-teens years I began to show interest in religious and spiritual matters. I joined the Catholic Church for a while, but the favoritism shown to the children from my town’s well off families made me leave. I then joined a small evangelical church, but I noticed that while the flock had a difficult time making ends meats, the pastor had a nice big house, brand new cars and his kids did not play with the flock’s children.
Fast forward, my father managed to get us out of our country into the USA. I now had to get adjusted to a totally new lifestyle, new language, new people, new society, etc. But above all, I had to get acquaintance with my father, whom I have not seen in person for almost 10 years. One fateful Saturday morning…the JW came knocking at my door. I took “bible” studies twice a week, quickly progressed into the “truth” and against my father wishes…I got baptized before reaching my 18 th birthday.
After high school, I new in my mind that I was going to college…no questions asked. This was important to me, as it was my first act of defiance against my mother’s whishes, see…I’m no referring to my real mother, but to the “Mother Organization”. All the young ones in my KH used to tell me how wrong I was in pursuing a higher education in this “dying system of things”, “there will be no need for lawyers or doctors in the New World”, “you are more interest in material things than putting God’s kingdom first”, “they teach evil thing in college that will make you doubt God”, “there is drugs, alcohol, and lots of immorality in college”…so they said. I soon realized why the WT is so adamant about young JW getting a higher education. They are afraid of JW having access to information, on developing research skills, they are afraid of JW broadening their horizons, on being exposed to new ideas, on developing real critical thinking skills. They are afraid of JW questioning the establishment. What about protection from drugs, sex and alcohol? That’s a façade, based on my own experience, I got offered marijuana only once, never got drunk and the possibility of un-marital sex was present, but not at the pervasive level that the WT likes to picture it.
One of the big discoveries and the genesis of my semi-apostate ways came one day when I decided to look up some of the books cited in the “Reasoning From the Scriptures” book (almost 99% of the works cited by the society were available at the University’s library). The research that was meant to solidify my faith in the JW religion, actually made the first crack on the foundation of my faith.
-
58
March 15, 2010 Watchtower -- "One Flock, One Shepherd"
by sd-7 inmarch 15, 2010 watchtower, p. 27, par.
16 ("one flock, one shepherd"):.
"paul also helps us to understand that those with an earthly hope do not partake of the memorial emblems.
-
-
tjlibre
I don’t see how they are going to release the number of partakers from 2009 without doing some serious “explanation”. The GB have clearly shown that they will lie if they feel cornered, so one possibility is that they’ll release the figures reflecting a lower or reduced number of the “new anointed”. Imoa, anything less than 11,200 is a lie. Or they’ll do away with the memorial in 2014 for shock value claiming “new light”, citing that the “Lord’s arrival” took place in 1914 and that the 1 st tier of this “generation” of “anointed” Christian passed away seeing the fulfillment of the 1 st phase of the Last Days while living on earth, that the covenant was with the born in 1914 “generation”, that the remand “anointed” not belonging to the born in 1914 “generation” will not passed away until seeing the fulfillment of the 2 nd phase of the Last Days. And that the 144,000 is a symbolic number representing all the anointed Christian, but that there is still a two class system.
Sounds crazy and far fetch… right? But I wouldn’t be surprised.
-
16
Then What?
by tjlibre inafter knowing what i now know about the wt and the gb.
now that i can see the real spirit behind this organization, now that i have convinced my self that i dont need this religion or any other organized group to have a personal relationship with god and his son... i wonder, whats next?
should i stay as part of the conscious class, a less committed jw for the sake of my marriage and emotional stability?
-
-
tjlibre
Thank you all for your comments. Again and again we have to be thankful that at least we have this virtual place to vent.
Some days are better than others. Sometimes I think that I could continue, sometimes I feel that I can’t take the insults to my intelligence any longer.
One thing I’m learning is that patience and self-control are the two most important qualities that I’ll need to develop in this crossroad. It’s comforting to see that I’m not alone on this walk, that there are many others like me, “captives of the tower” (no pun intended, ).
I hope that one day the opportunity arises to be agents of real change in the JW religion (I’m not comfortable yet calling it a cult). I whish for the day whent the honest God loving people in the KH stand up and say no more, no more to the corporation, no more to the GB getting in the way of our relationship with God and His Son, no more lies, no more control, no more toil; more real love (unconditional) more mercy, more grace. Let us be united and drawn together on conviction and not on conformity. But that’s all wishful thinking.
-
16
Then What?
by tjlibre inafter knowing what i now know about the wt and the gb.
now that i can see the real spirit behind this organization, now that i have convinced my self that i dont need this religion or any other organized group to have a personal relationship with god and his son... i wonder, whats next?
should i stay as part of the conscious class, a less committed jw for the sake of my marriage and emotional stability?
-
-
tjlibre
After knowing what I now know about the WT and the GB. Now that I can see the real spirit behind this organization, now that I have convinced my self that I don’t need this religion or any other organized group to have a personal relationship with God and His Son… I wonder, what’s next? Should I stay as part of the “conscious class”, a less committed JW for the sake of my marriage and emotional stability? Or drop it all and face the consequences? If I just walk out and take the risk….will the aftermath be worth it? Could I continue living a lie for the next 50 years or until the day I die?
Just the thoughts in my head this morning.
-
41
Honesty in Field Service Reports....This week's CBS topic (among others)
by Open mind inthis week's congregation "bible" study.
the drone running the show asked an auxiliary question (tm):.
"so, what could be some of the consequences if people weren't honest in reporting their field service?".
-
-
tjlibre
I’ve been including the hours I spend at the TMS and service meeting, the time spent from the moment I step a foot out of my house and I get back from FS, shepherding call time, anything related to WTs work I now count as FS time. As a matter of fact, last month, I also included the time spent commenting on this board . I know of two elders that are “pioneers”, whom as I’ve been told by other pioneers, are hardly seen in field service…I wonder how they do their hours? Any clues guys?
I don’t feel the slightest ounce of guilt for doing this, none at all. I’m just waiting for a nice word of “abuse” from the C.O or another elder, any slight change in doctrine or a new scandal to play the “discouraged card” and start reporting 1 hour a month, drop my eldership and set my self free from the tower.