No I am divorced and my son is 24 and living about an hour away in Charlotte. I am just starting to get involved with Habitat. 2 women I used to work with are on the board and they recommended me. Hopefully I can help others and make friends at the same time.
disillusioned1
JoinedPosts by disillusioned1
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85
I was HAPPY as a JW, how did I get here?
by MC RubberMallet insome have figured out, but i am a poster that previously used another name.
but even then i did not give many details about myself.
i barely cracked 100 posts.. but i have never done a thread to explain why i am here.
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85
I was HAPPY as a JW, how did I get here?
by MC RubberMallet insome have figured out, but i am a poster that previously used another name.
but even then i did not give many details about myself.
i barely cracked 100 posts.. but i have never done a thread to explain why i am here.
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disillusioned1
Finally Awake, It would be hard. I almost have my place paid for. I put a doublewide on family land... so I can't sell it. I could rent it but not sure I would get enough to start over somewhere else. Rent is a lot higher other places than here. I just became a board member for Habitat for Humanity. I'm hoping to meet people that way. And you are right, it is a small town in Western North Carolina, where everyone knows everyone else mostly because they go to church together.
It must have been rough moving to a town where you knew no one. I grew up here and went to the one high school. I know people but they are mostly just acquaintances.
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85
I was HAPPY as a JW, how did I get here?
by MC RubberMallet insome have figured out, but i am a poster that previously used another name.
but even then i did not give many details about myself.
i barely cracked 100 posts.. but i have never done a thread to explain why i am here.
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disillusioned1
I was happier as a JW than I am now but only because I had a huge social circle.. so many friends, things to do. But I HATED field service, I HATED giving talks, I HATED sitting through the meetings and more and more I disagreed with things being said from the platform. As soon as you stop going to meetings the social circle of friends starts to go away. Friends stop calling. You don't get invited to anything. I miss that. My ex-husband told me I was always going to be trapped between 2 worlds while not fitting into either and he was right. I don't fit in with the JWs. I don't fit in with "the world". Needless to say, my social circle is extremely small. It doesn't help living in such a religious area. The new friends I make always want me to come to their church. I don't go and they end up disappearing too. It's a lonely life. So yeah, in a way I was happier as a JW too.. if I could have just done the things they expected me to do.. but I couldn't do it and I won't.. so here I sit, alone.
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I would love for you to know my Oompa.... (from one of his closest friends)
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disillusioned1
I don't see the grief as being fake at all. I never knew Eric. I've barely posted here but I have read a lot of posts from many. Still, reading his story and knowing that he couldn't see any other way out of his pain makes me very sad. I don't know people I hear about on tv either but sometimes their stories touch me and make me emotional and I've cried over them. How is that fake? If you have a heart and if you hear about something like this you can hurt for that person even though you might not have really known them. I think all of us can relate to Eric on some level and that makes it even more sad. So many of us feel the same kind of pain he felt for losing so much and the hopelessness he felt.
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to date JWism has defined my life and i hate that TRUTH
by oompa inand i am finding the adjustment to the real world far more difficult than i ever imagined...i f...it has been about five years since i totally woke up to the fraudulant nwt and then all my other doubts i had carried for years were proved true as well.
but almost all of my few friends are exjw or slack jw's and i feel so isolated...my sons friends are mostly exjw too but not their gf's and they have way more normal friends .
how have you done at replacing lifelong friends and family?
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disillusioned1
This is really sad. I didn't know you but I do understand the hopelessness you were feeling. And I know what it's like to feel so low that you wonder if the only answer is ending it all. I've been there many times. I'm there now. I don't want to think that is the answer so I am struggling to find another solution. I hope at least you will have peace now.
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Just stopping by...
by disillusioned1 ina friend told me about this forum so i thought i'd check it out.
i also post on jwr (jehovah's witness recovery) as disillusioned.
it seems this forum had someone with that name already so i added the number 1.. i was born into the jw religion.
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disillusioned1
Hi everyone,
A friend told me about this forum so I thought I'd check it out. I also post on JWR (Jehovah's Witness Recovery) as disillusioned. It seems this forum had someone with that name already so I added the number 1.
I was born into the JW religion. My mom was and still is a JW, as are most of her siblings. I went regularly until about 13 years ago. I didn't realize that I was fading at first. I was just discouraged and tired of trying to live up to their standards. However the more I missed the meetings the better I felt. There was always so much guilt because no matter what I did I never felt good enough. There was always so much more they wanted. After I stopped going the guilt went away. I'll never go back.
Anyway, there is a lot more to my story but I'll save it for another time. I'm going to do some reading of some of the topics here.