Posts by oppostate

3

"Governing Body members during Branch visits. They're are like pigeons: they fly in, shit all over us and fly out"

by oppostate in

so i suggested in another thread that correspondence that will have a demoralizing impact against gb policies won't be those that criticize doctrine.

no, my thought is that if you write in to bethel with jokes about the gb members and their loony-ness you might get a bethel letter reader to remember what you wrote and pass it around.. e.g.. a foreign born governing body member from europe is talking to his new governing body helper.

the governing body member looks at him with a squint in his eyes and says.

oppostate

An eager long-time Bethelite has just been appointed to Branch Overseer. The 80-year-old Branch Overseer he is replacing because he's been asked to step down, meets with him privately and hands him three numbered envelopes.

"Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can handle," he said.

Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, donations tanked and contributions took a nosedive. He was really catching a lot of heat from the Governing Body. At wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his desk drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."

At the next Wednesday's Governing Body meeting he tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous Branch Overseer. Satisfied with his comments, the Governing Body responded positively, contributions increased, donations rose and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the Branch was again experiencing a slight dip in contributions collected. Having learned from his previous experience, the Branch Overseer wasted no time in opening the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize assignments." This he did, and again the Branch quickly rebounded. After several consecutive profitable quarters, the Branch once again fell on difficult times. The Branch Overseer went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The simple message said, "Prepare three envelopes..."

3

"Governing Body members during Branch visits. They're are like pigeons: they fly in, shit all over us and fly out"

by oppostate in

so i suggested in another thread that correspondence that will have a demoralizing impact against gb policies won't be those that criticize doctrine.

no, my thought is that if you write in to bethel with jokes about the gb members and their loony-ness you might get a bethel letter reader to remember what you wrote and pass it around.. e.g.. a foreign born governing body member from europe is talking to his new governing body helper.

the governing body member looks at him with a squint in his eyes and says.

oppostate

Veteran interior decorator at Bethel goes in to present the plan to the Governing Body to buy a $30,000 chandelier for their new meeting room at Warwick. Knowing there have been all sorts of cost cutting decisions he tries to make the point telling them about the flow and the harmony of the room, the feng shui and the diffusion properties of the crystal.

Looking at their frowns he stops talking not really sure what he's said they seem upset about.

Suddenly, Governing Body Lett says aloud his eyes wide open with expression, "Why are we wasting time talking?" He motions in the air with an upraised index finger. "First of all, a chandelier,. .. why, we haven’t got anyone who could even spell it." He holds up two fingers and a thumb. "Second, we haven’t got anyone who could even play it. And lastly, what we really need in the freaking room is more light!"

3

"Governing Body members during Branch visits. They're are like pigeons: they fly in, shit all over us and fly out"

by oppostate in

so i suggested in another thread that correspondence that will have a demoralizing impact against gb policies won't be those that criticize doctrine.

no, my thought is that if you write in to bethel with jokes about the gb members and their loony-ness you might get a bethel letter reader to remember what you wrote and pass it around.. e.g.. a foreign born governing body member from europe is talking to his new governing body helper.

the governing body member looks at him with a squint in his eyes and says.

oppostate

So I suggested in another thread that correspondence that will have a demoralizing impact against GB policies won't be those that criticize doctrine. No, my thought is that if you write in to Bethel with jokes about the GB members and their loony-ness you might get a Bethel letter reader to remember what you wrote and pass it around.

e.g.

A foreign born Governing Body member from Europe is talking to his new Governing Body Helper.

The Governing Body member looks at him with a squint in his eyes and says. "Have you heard the talk I gave against going to university! It was epic, it was in English and Romanian. Damn right! But do you think they'd talk about it at the next Wednesday meeting? Nein!"

Shakes his head and continues. "I laid it out on the line about American Football, telling all those Yankees what a despicable and violent game it is. Do you think I'd get any recognition from any of them? Not even that Ozzi Jackson! Nein, not at all! Not one word!"

Then he looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one else is paying attention and says: "But you get friendly with one goat in Romania... "

34

Hello

by WITNESS-FOR-WATCHTOWER-REFORM in

jw
friends

just to say a big hello.

i have been reading this site for some time now and have been very unhappy with some of the things emanating from watchtower head quarters in new york.

the final straw for me is the upcoming watchtower study this weekend encouraging us to shun our own family members (our own mothers if need be) if they are disfellowshipped....a step too far for my liking.

oppostate

If you want a letter to be read by those who open the mail at Bethel.

Don't make it a complaint against their doctrines.

Instead think of the funniest jokes you can put together about the Governing Body and their policies.

e.g.

"Governing Body members during Branch visits. They're are like pigeons: they fly in, shit all over us and fly out"

2

My own Prince gossip

by Gorbatchov in

jw
friends

prince is murdered by a jw hq hit man to get his fortune.

because of some reasons the wt stands with his back to the wall and has to choose for other measures...

oppostate

Maybe Johnny the Bethelite can shed light on this developing intrigue next time he calls Six Screens.

6

JW WatchTower stop using the phrase BIBLE STUDY so dishonestly

by techpal in

bible study.

bible.

ˈbʌɪb(ə)l/.

oppostate

These "Bible Studies" are actually "Bible Interpretation by the Governing Body and Their Helpers Studies"

4

Prince postings... ad nauseum

by zeb in

hey mods, any chance all things prince could be put under one heading.. please?

oppostate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTwJzTsb2QQ

4

Prince postings... ad nauseum

by zeb in

hey mods, any chance all things prince could be put under one heading.. please?

oppostate

that would be like trying to herd cats wouldn't it?

12

Letter to the GB...Would they see it??

by James Mixon in

if one sent a nice note to the gb, "you guys are a bunch of low life scumbags", would they cover.

it in their meeting and respond to my letter?.

oppostate

In other words they will never know they are a bunch of low life scumbags.

The renewed effort by the courts to get the sexual abusers list from their grubby little filthy-lucre loving hands will help expose to what level of scumbaggery they've gone. Their evil empire will continue to bleed out cash and sink ever lower in the public eye.

17

Watchtower myth: God’s will discerned through committees, not individual leaders

by Londo111 in

be it the governing body, or the a judicial committee of the local elder body, when a two-thirds majority vote is reached, it is viewed as god’s will, as the action of holy spirit, of jesus nudging the stars in his right hand.

[and if i’m not mistaken, the minority is encouraged to change their vote, so that is “unanimous”.

anthony morris alluded to this when he unsuccessfully tried to explain why the governing body is not dogmatic.

oppostate

My guess is that it's similar to an ouija board in which no individual feels in any way responsible for the outcome, but all have a part in making it happen.
I never really understood how making decision by consensus was somehow proof of divine backing.

Decisions through consensus building is the Quaker way of doing things. Quaker meetings are funny, though, there's little said, and more than a little sad as well.

@Londo111

Excellent quote! Very insightful and true.