Steve Hassan often attends the ICSA events so for those in the US it may be a good opportunity to meet him in person.
Posts by nugget
-
22Report back from the International Cult Studies Association event in London
by nugget inthe icsa event in london was a day well spent although a little emotionally draining.
the event was well represented by ex jws who formed the biggest group there with representatives from both the uk and europe.
other cults discussed during the day were, exclusive bretheren, christian scientists, therapy cults, mystic cults, born again christian cults and some extremely scary mind control groups.
-
-
-
22
Report back from the International Cult Studies Association event in London
by nugget inthe icsa event in london was a day well spent although a little emotionally draining.
the event was well represented by ex jws who formed the biggest group there with representatives from both the uk and europe.
other cults discussed during the day were, exclusive bretheren, christian scientists, therapy cults, mystic cults, born again christian cults and some extremely scary mind control groups.
-
-
nugget
The ICSA event in London was a day well spent although a little emotionally draining. The event was well represented by ex JWs who formed the biggest group there with representatives from both the UK and Europe. Other cults discussed during the day were, Exclusive Bretheren, Christian Scientists, Therapy cults, Mystic cults, Born Again Christian Cults and some extremely scary mind control groups. Some of the most harrowing stories were from parents with children caught up in cults who were trying to get them out.
Whilst the issue of shunning was not addressed on this occasion, there was some useful advice and help offered that I feel may help others on the board.
Christian Szurko presented a section on restoring relationships with Parents, siblings and children still in the sect. I feel that although some of the general points are helpful his key idea of mediated dialogue could only work with parents or spouses who have never been JWs trying to reach those still in.Here is a brief summary of his talk:
We are all humans and when we become emotionally involved we make mistakes, this can result in us saying the wrong thing and burning our bridges. These bridges need to be restored .What we all can do is make others aware that we are thinking of them. We can send cards and postcards just to keep them in our thoughts. One son kept returning cards and gifts sent to him back to his parents. The son was in a cult with environmental ideals so the parents started arranging to have trees planted for him and then let him know every time they did. He couldn't send the gift back and it helped to reach him. So be creative.
Keep in mind that rebuilding the relationship is more important at this stage than getting someone to exit the group. This means that we need to be prepared to say we were wrong. If we have said something like "exit the cult or I'll have nothing to do with you." then acknowledge that this was a mistake. We are not bound by the rules of the cult, this means that we do not always have to be right. We do not have to win every battle. What we have to display is gentleness and a willingness to proceed slowly. We can be non combative and be patient and realise that some things are absorbed slowly.
But more than anything be persistent. He said when we love someone time is the currency by which we measure love.
Christian acts as a mediator bringing the two sides together and translating parental concerns and presenting material in a constructive way allowing both sides to express their concerns and increase communication. He talks to both sides and then brings them together to discuss their concerns. He has worked with JWs in the past but in my discussions with him it would appear that he has enabled some who already had doubts to clarify them. I do not think this technique would work with somone who is Df'd or DA'd who wanted to talk to his witness relatives as I firmly believe that they would not accept any mediation other than the elder arrangement.
Another interesting discussion was presented by Gillie Jenkinson who is a counsellor specialising in people who have been affected by their cult experience she is also part of a charity that offers free counselling to ex cult members in the UK although there is a waiting list. the charity is encourage www.encourage-cult-survivors.org. Several people discussed their cult experiences during this section.
As this looks long enough already I will post further experiences from the day further down and allow other attendees to share their thoughts on the day there is so much to cover.
-
-
-
nugget
I don't know but then I am always a couple of days late picking up on these things.
-
27
Are you registered to vote????
by lalaa inon monday i'm going to register to vote since i'm able to do so when i renew my drivers license.
i'm actually kind of excited since i never did register because of they way i was brought up.. how many of you are registered to vote?.
-
-
nugget
Yes in a democracy I feel it is important to be part of the process.
-
10
Carefully Stepping Around Jesus as the Mediator FOR ALL (Comments on CO Talk)
by LostGeneration inwell my stomach was feeling especially strong today, so i decided to listen to a bit of the stuff posted by mindnumbed (thank you!).
now i don't feel so good.
anyway, here is the one that was especially disturbing, even from my perspective as a non-christian.. god's "will is that all sorts of men should be saved" (circuit overseer talk).
-
-
nugget
I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to listen to this. But it is interesting that they shy away from stating in the talk what they have expressed in print. I was truly shocked when I realised that the society had stated that Jesus was only the mediator for the annointed. It passed me by in the magazine which is what the society wants. It likes to keep the congregation asleep and dozing.
-
47
'Dinah Gets Into Trouble' - Does Story 20 Mean Rape = Fornication?
by sd-7 ini was listening, albeit unwittingly, to a 'my book of bible stories' tape and this statement caught me by surprise.
it's found in story 20:.
"one day when dinah came to visit, shechem took dinah and forced her to lie down with him.
-
-
nugget
I always found this story very disturbing. Dinah makes a poor choice of friends and ends up being raped. It is all her fault , the man is not responsible for his actions in fact becomes the victim when her brothers seek to take vengence for what was done. She is seen as damaged goods for the rest of her life unsuitable for marriage. It is no wonder that sexual predators are active in congregations since with lessons such as this one young girls are constantly expected to take responsibility for their own rapes and sexual abuse. This book should be withdrawn.
-
-
-
nugget
The book study was a great meeting, we hosted it on a 6 month rotating basis and it was well attended some people came who did not attend the kingdom hall. Yes people were sometimes demanding and thoughtless and did not appreciate that it was someone's home as well as a meeting venue. I think that they were more relaxed, social and informal than the main meeting and therefore somewhere where people could ask questions and be treated less judgementally.
The introduction of family worship night turned an opportunity for warmth and fellowship into another stick to beat the flock with. Gone was a one hour meeting and in it's place a demand to spend the whole evening studying watchtower approved materials.
-
-
-
nugget
Just what I needed. Very good.
-
-
-
nugget
No I try to learn from my mistakes not repeat them.
-
46
Threats from the JW mafia (subtle threats)
by thecrushed inmy dad recently found out i wasn't coming to meetings and going out in field service.
he found an excuse to get me alone in his car and just lit into me about it.
he said that if i'm not going out in service that i'm not one of jehovah's witnesses and the brothers won't be able to trust me when the time comes to go undercover due to being attacked by the authorities.
-
-
nugget
Quqon the positive side he noticed that your spirituality had dropped and tried to do something about it. If he had allowed you to drift away unnoticed that would have been a reason for criticism also.
However his approach was deeply flawed and there was no concern for you as a person. E.g. Were you well? were you ok ? Did you have a problem he could help you with? Did you know you were loved and he wanted to help? This conversation was more like a soldier being spoken to by a commanding officer not a warm father son chat. This is the issue I have with the organisation that people are robbed of their humanity and turned into cold human beings. there is no love among themselves otherwise many of these conversations would be quite different.