Some people leave but are not really free. They feel they cannot live up to the demands of the religion themselves but still think the teachings are right it sounds like your sister is one of these.
Posts by nugget
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30My ex JW sister is an APOLOGIST!!!!!
by joyfulfader ini have had a few conversations with my sister who left the org several years ago and has been dating a non jw for several years now.
she celebrates the holidays and everything.
so the other day i brought up some of the things i have learned since leaving.
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41
Our Story
by Auntfancy inhi everyone, i have been on here for a little while and haven't introduced myself to you.
i can't tell you how much all of you have helped me sort many things out in my mind.. i was raised in a very good christian home and married my hs sweetheart.
i left home and moved half way across the country with a husband and a brand new baby.
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nugget
Welcome to the forum. I am glad you have been able to share celebrations with your family and that they are there for you. Having support on the outside is a gift.
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nugget
Fading with children is difficult and very hard. Staying in a religion that restricts their childhood and isolates them from their peers is extremely damaging. We wanted thenm to have the chance to make real friends not conditional ones.
When we faded our children were 7 and 9. Our son has aspergers so it is also impossible for him to keep a secret. We had to make choices about whether to live as JWs but no longer go to meetings and on service or whether to allow them to have a normal childhood with the risks that would entail. We went for the later. I had seen how the belief system was harming their ability to relate to others and causing them to be isolated. This meant that the fade could only be maintained for a limited time. Part of this was because as parents we realised it was unfair to make the children responsible for keeping a secret from family. This is a big thing because later on if they blurt out something to their grandparents that leads to a JC and Df'ing then there is a possibility that they may feel they are to blame for the bad things happening.
We were honest with the children from the beginning but made it clear that whatever happened it was our decision not theirs and as their parents we were responsible.
I wish you luck we have not managed to maintain all family relationships but 3 years on I feel we did the right thing for our children.
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35
Did you hear Jw's swear?
by highdose ini know that what counts as swearing differs alot from region to region, amongst the words i heard used were "crap, bloody, shit, git, bastard, bitch" and the dubs who used these words would say that they didn't belive they were swear words at all!.
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nugget
yes it was usually me.
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28
Future Baby-Mama in a Rage!
by SophieG insosoconfused mentioned this vaguely in his thread and it upset me... i asked him to post where i could find the information, trust me i went looking!
now lets read this:.
http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/w20121215/view-of-in-vitro-fertilization/.
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nugget
They are applying iron age thinking to modern life. At the time the rules were writen women were property and knowing the origin of children was all to do with inheritance. It is ridiculous to suggest that a woman choosing AI is commiting fornication. The society is not interested in biological clocks or the personal desires of it's members. they would rather their members remain childless since this means they are more likely to inherit the estates of these people.
They are greedy, selfish and lack any shred of human compassion and have no right to dictate who should be a mother and who should not. The way they ensure that children within the cult have no childhood shows that they have no interest in children or families.
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37
Do's and Dont's on debating JWs online
by Emery inrecently i have seen an increase number of former members trying to argue ttatt with jws on youtube, news articles, facebook and public forums.
for the most part, i do not see a lot of vicious or hostile debates when former members are trying to show ttatt, but i have seen some arguments and approaches turn out very ugly, to the point of many face palms.. i remember there were several instances that completely turned me off towards ttatt as a believer because "apostates" would be entirely reprehensible and would fit the bill of what the society termed "mentally diseased".
i cannot fault ones here who have gone on a similar rampage now that i understand how people lose everything and everyone they love.
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nugget
when debating with JWs I try to remember that the posts will be read by those who have never had anything to do with the organisation as well as exjws and current JWs. I firmly believe that the crazy talk should be left to the JWs and always try to be humerous, reasonable and respectful. Humerous to encourage others to read the posts, and reasonable to go against Jw misconceptions.
sometimes JWs can be so pompous, narrow minded, rude and have a tendancy to make sweeping generalizations so it can be a challenge not to end up in a rude exchange. But on the whole it is endless fun and great entertainment if done well.
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My Son and I have about 5 Months Left
by bavman inhello, i haven't been on here in awhile and it looks like a whole new crowd.
i disassociated myself about 8 years ago.
went through a divorce and shunning from most my family.
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nugget
So sorry.
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28
So thankful! Would have never believed it possible!
by coffee_black inover 2 years ago, my daughter was diagnosed with end stage congestive heart failure.
she has come so far.... and even rides her bike 5 to 6 miles per day now.
here's how she looks today.
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nugget
So happy for you all
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17
I NEED HELP!
by nolongerconfused inguys, i have faded about a 1 month ago...now 1 elder, who i consider a friend as a person and like a father is texting me.... i don't hate the guy, i consider him my friend even though i don't believe what he believes...he's telling me he hasnt seen me at the meetings and he's worried...he asked me if i could go in service with him this weekend...i have not responded, i dont know what to say since i don't want to go through no judicial committee or something like that...nobody there knows i know ttabtt...any suggestions on how i should respond?.
thanks!.
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nugget
You have two choices either ignore the message or respond.
A simple text saying thank you for thinking of me but I am not able to go out this weekend but will call you if I need you. This is a stalling non threatening message that gives you breathing space.
However you do not owe them or need to be controled by them. How you chose to respond relates directly to what you want to accomplish. If you wish to remain non threatening and fading then you have to live as a JW would live minus meetings and service and not appear to question the society. If your reasons for non attendance are personal weaknesses e.g. working too hard or medical condition then that is ok. If your reason for non attendance is non belief and you admit it then that is the death knell for your fade.
with witnesses try to avoid probing conversations. If you are caught by surprise always have a strategy to force the conversation to be kept short either an appointment or somewhere else to be or illness the more contageous the better. focus on what you can say rather than what you can't. E.g.
Thank you for your concern, I am sorry that now is not a good time to talk, I am dealing with personal stuff right now, I know where you are and will certainly contact you if you can help.
Fading is an art and a lot harder than people imagine since JWs are natural snoops and able to pick up any nuance that shows that someone is not on message. Be careful.
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40
I finally told my parents
by nolongerconfused inso as some of you already may know, i have stopped going to meetings for good and have nothing to do with wbts anymore...did not write a letter of disassociation because i dont believe an organization should spiritually execute me for rejecting men's tradition and false doctrine...some of you may recall i spoke to my wife and are in good terms, even though she's still an active jw.
my parents are both active jw's...when i visited them yesterday, they clearly did not expect me to tell them i had left the "org"...to my huge surprise, after i explained to them i had found ttatt (truth about the truth) and gave compelling evidence of my reasoning, and using the scriptures, they totally sided with me...i was dumbfounded...one of my parents even brought up ray franz and his book coc....i was like wtf??.
they told me all of these years they never had the guts to say anything about the hypocrisy in this org and they were glad that i as their son was able to step up and believe what is right and what is on the bible...they re-assured their love to me and they were happy i had found happiness in jesus christ and the need to have a personal relationship with him and not through a man made organization.... i totally did not expect this response from my parents...but it just leaves me to think that there are thousands of active jw's out there feeling the same way and don't have the courage to step up to the org...still don't know what they are going to do, but i got the feeling they will do the same eventually and move on from the wbts.... have a great week everyone.
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nugget
So happy for you. We all hope for understanding from our parents but many are disappointed. I hope you are right and now that they know you are out they will be able to leave too.