Posts by nugget

27

How did you teach your kids TTATT? How old were they?

by KateWild in

when i first started going on "other" jw websites my head was spinning so i didn't say anything to my kids about what i had read.

steve hassan's material helped a lot it was when i read that, that i realised i need to free my kids.. i got a lot of advice from jwn too.. my daughter had moved cities and went to the hall we used to visit frequently.

things changed when she became a member instead of just a visitor.

nugget

My children were 9 and 7 I think. It was easier because we left together so it could be presented as a family decision. With them we told them that we were having doubts about some of the things we had been taught and had passed on to them. We told them that it was easy to make mistakes but what was important was acknowledging when we made mistakes and try to make things better.

We told them that whilst we looked into things we would restore the family to the default setting (my son loves computers so got the analogy) and we would allow them to participate fully in all school activities and attend clubs that they thought they might enjoy. If we decided after research that we might need to make adjustments we would discuss it with them. The school was told what was happening and was advised that the children could fully participate the only criteria was that is the children felt uncomfortable participating in an activitiy that was previously prohibited then they shouldn't be forced.

The children adjusted very quickly to the new way of life. We have always encouraged them to ask questions and taken any of their concerns seriously. They have met many ex JWs and have seen for themselves shunning and anguish caused by bad religion. This has been more powerful than any lecturing. Neither have any wish to go back to the faith and have nothing positive to say about the meetings they attended.

Initially my daughter had concerns we would die at Armageddon but I asked her why she was concerned and got her to reason on where her belief came from and whether there was any evidence that anyone would be destroyed. What we found important is to allow time for them to ask questions.

51

oh cr@p!! its my turn for "an elder called and wants to arrange a shepherding call" thread. Moral support please.

by MissFit in

jw
friends

is coming and the elder wanted to set up a visit.

it's not like i wasn't warned.

there was a thread that talked about the push to call on inactive ones.. thanks to the heads up here, i knew the motive for the call.. i don't think i even know that eld.

nugget

If he calls then thank him for his concern but you do not wish to meet with him as you are busy. If this changes you have his number and will contact him. you are not permitted to receive personal calls at work and under no circumstances should he try to contact you on your work number. Thank you again for your call. Good bye

Put the phone down, don't get into a conversation, keep it firm but friendly. You do not have to explain yourself, or comply. Focus on what you want to say and give him no way in. He doesn't know you he is a total stranger to you and therefore it would be inappropriate to meet with him.

22

Ostracism more damaging than bullying

by jgnat in

new study out of the university of bc:.

http://news.ubc.ca/2014/05/29/better-to-be-bullied-than-ignored-in-the-workplace-study/.

we tend to underestimate the damage that social ostracism does.

nugget

Isolating a person from friends and family is one of the cruelest things a person can do to someone else. The casual way theat elders use this power shows a complete disregard for the emotional well being of others. They know the consequences of disfellowshipping but never take it into account. They disfellowship people "to set an example" or because they think they have to take a tough line regardless of whether a person is repentant or not. They also are influenced by others and elders family members are less likely to get disfellowshiped so whilst being hard on people with no influence they are lax on others. There is no equality, fairness or god in the process.

Personally I was able to move on with my life and make new friends without regret. It was the impact on family that was the most poisonous thing causing my older sister to behave in a way tht did her no credit. The long lasting damage cannot be underestimated. You have to be mentaly tough to work through it.

176

JW refuses to provide wedding stationery to Gay couple

by KateWild in

i was outraged at this and had to post it.. http://jehovahswitnessreport.com/blog/jw-refuses-to-provide-wedding-stationery-to-gay-couple.

i think she is a hypocrite and i bet she sells her invites to fornicators, or does she ask them if they are having sex before marrige, before she takes their money?.

i was never like this when i was a jw, it's even more disturbing that she is going to ask her elders what to do.

nugget

She mades wedding invitations rather than cakes so she is making a very niche product. In the UK gay couples can now have a wedding rather than a civil partnership. She may have been confused since religious organisations are not obliged to carry out a wedding service for gay couples if they do not wish to, however this dispensation does not extend to commercial enterprises.

If she provides invitations for heterosexual couples regardless of their religious preferences or living arrangements then she has no reason to refuse to provide invitations for homosexual couples. She is discriminating merely on the basis of sexual orientation .

176

JW refuses to provide wedding stationery to Gay couple

by KateWild in

i was outraged at this and had to post it.. http://jehovahswitnessreport.com/blog/jw-refuses-to-provide-wedding-stationery-to-gay-couple.

i think she is a hypocrite and i bet she sells her invites to fornicators, or does she ask them if they are having sex before marrige, before she takes their money?.

i was never like this when i was a jw, it's even more disturbing that she is going to ask her elders what to do.

nugget

She obviously had no idea of the law against discrimination nor had any idea how offensive she was being to the couple concerned. She shouldn't need a group of men to tell her what is acceptable behaviour and what is not her own humanity should inform her actions.

15

Are we here for each other ? To support each other ? through crisis ?

by smiddy in

jw
friends

a poster who joined this site some five years ago , luo bou to , and offered his two cents worth , so to speak , about his experinces , and spiralling downfall to his marriage and faith and how it had left him , posted a number of posts ?

about his journey ?

and gained a great deal of satisfaction and solidarity from this site.. use the search engine for his previous posts .

nugget

sorry to hear about your health problems. Nice to see you posting despite everything.

119

Get well Grace (Mouthy)

by label licker in

jw
friends

a loud get well grace from all of us to you.

everyone, grace has been in and out of the hospital and i'm sure she would love to read your get wells.

we miss you grace:) wish i could post pictures.

nugget

Sorry that I can late to this thread. Get well soon I hope the spring weather gives you a boost and aids your recovery. Thinking of you.

33

The resolution was actually passed!

by stillin in

who would have thought that enough people would raise their hands when the resolution was put before the congregation tonight?

based on the pledges that the publishers put on those little pieces of paper, the congregation is promising the wts that they will send $1,000/month to support the society's building funds.. there is a traditional monthly shortfall of about $100 with the basic monthly bills usually around $1,000.

i didn't raise my hand.

nugget

If the watchtower society is foolish enough to base any financial plans on these pledges then bigger fool them. When we stopped paying for literature the money for the Worldwide work decreased over time because people had the attitude that any shortfall would be compensated for by others. This arrangement will fare no better and there will be months of local needs talks guilting people to stick to pledges.

This will either result in a formalising of pledges through direct debits or an acceptance of the situation.

It is a disgrace and shame on them all for passively agreeing to this rubbish. Shows how controlled people are.

14

Charity Commission investigates Jehovah's Witness congregation in relation to indecent assault case

by Mickey mouse in

manchester new moston congregation of jehovah's witnesses is at the centre of reports that a convicted offender was allowed to question his victims at a public meetingthe charity commission has opened an operational compliance case into a manchester-based jehovahs witness congregation following concerns about how it protects vulnerable beneficiaries.. the commission said it was in discussions with manchester new moston congregation of jehovahs witnesses after reports in the manchester evening news that a congregation member, jonathan rose, who was recently released from prison after serving nine months for the indecent of assault of two girls, was allowed to question his victims in front of congregation elders.

the victims were required to recount the abuse at the meeting in order to have rose barred from the church, the paper says.. a spokeswoman for the commission said: "the commission has ongoing serious concerns about the manchester new moston congregation of jehovahs witnesses in connection with its policies and procedures for the protection of vulnerable beneficiaries.

we are engaging with the charitys trustees about our concerns.

nugget

They are lying again victims feel obliged to attend since the watchtower places so much emphasis on the 2 witness rule. There is also the issue that victims feel obliged to defend themselves from the posibility of being Disfellowshipped themselves. Perpetrators will often say the victim led them on or was culpable so they are forced to endure invasive and inappropriate questions that fix the idea that they are partly guilty for their own abuse.

This happens in every congregation not just Manchester. If a file of evidence could be put together then the Charity Comission may take wider action.

22

Happy 21st!!!!

by KateWild in

jw
friends

21 years ago today, was the one of the most special days of my life.

i gave birth to my precious daughter.

who knew it would pass so quickly!

nugget

Happy 21st to your girl. May her day be merry and bright. She is a lucky girl to have a mum who thinks she is important and special.