Posts by nugget

45

I'm getting disfellowshipped

by Letty in

hi everyone i'm 19 year old and i've been a jehovahs witness for 3 years now.

i've followed the rules and i'm even a pioneer.

but i've hid the secret of a boyfriend i had from india.

JWs are trained to over react they always blame the perceived sinner. In a reasonable life what you do with your boyfriend is strictly your business and no one elses. Don't let them make you feel unworthy or shameful. Actually you don't deserve this treatment and their hysteria is a shameful display as it relates totally to how your behaviour reflects on them, What about your right as an adult to privacy?. What about the trauma they are putting you through?

I am so sorry that this has happened how you approach it is still in your control and others have made suggestions. But remember outside JWs there is a different perspective and you do not need to be defined by them.

40

Unhappy being asked to give a Disfellowshipped Sister a ride to and from Meetings

by Isambard Crater in

i'm pimo, very much against disfellowshipping, and going to a meeting leaves me feeling confused and angry at the best of times.

except an elder asked me on thursday night if i can start giving a ride to a disfellowshipped woman because she lives near me and nobody else from the hall lives in my village.

it seems the elder and his family who have been giving this woman a ride for the past six months can no longer stomach the time it takes them to go out of their way.. i thought all normal publishers weren't to have any contact with disfellowshipped people?

nugget

This is probably the result of the whole thing being an inconvenience to the elder to go out of his way picking them up. They want to pass this unpleasant task on. I would say that you would prefer it if he asked another elder to help him out as this is a difficult area and you are not comfortable with the request.

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

nugget

This man has lied to everyone. The truth is he is a member of a high control group and part of the culture he belongs to does not permit him to be friends with anyone outside the group. He is only allowed to date someone if he intends to marry them and sex is not allowed outside of marriage. If your relationship was known to other members of the congregation he would be censured and may even be shunned and thrown out of the faith.

He wants everything, to have sex with you and to maintain his position. He can't have both and be honest. He can't see you as a serious relationship because you don't meet his religions criteria and he does not care enough about you to put you first. He wants you to make all the compromises whilst treating you as a shameful secret. If you continue you will be constantly expected to be available for him whilst at no time will he make compromises for you. Christmas, birthdays and thanksgiving are not important to him so you will spend these on your own.

47

I was quite tolerant of this guy until now

by never a jw in

president trump is definitely a demagogue, a populist, and not a great extemporaneous speaker, just to mention few of his more conspicuous flaws.

however, i was going along because "it's the economy stupid".

now that has changed.

nugget

it will backfire as US exports of aluminium and steel finished products will then receive additional tarrifs. China has used this before.

17

Can you top this example of JW corruption?

by Mace.Bean in

if you are a former jw elder, can you share any examples of corruption which you personally witnessed that were kept secret from the congregation?

following is an account from a longtime elder named tommy who recently disassociated.. the minor daughter of a presiding elder in a west texas congregation committed fornication with a 19-year old baptized witness in her father’s home.

the daughter had to confess to a judicial committee which included the aforementioned tommy.

nugget

Where anywhere else would it be appropriate for a 16 year old child to be questioned about her personal life and then be punished because a 19 year old took advantage of her. Where else would it be more important to make an example of a child rather than supporting her with the legal process.

This male chauvinistic boys club is corrupt and heartless.

33

My younger brother officially Disassociated today

by pale.emperor in

hi guys.

just wanted to share this with you as it's kind of got me worried.

my brother who was also raised in "the truth™" met me in town today for a coffee.

nugget

My son has aspergers and the religion was a huge stresser for him. Being out of organisation has greatly improved his mental well being and I hope the same will be true for your brother. My son was protected in the main because his Dad and I acted as a buffer between my son and the elders. He has adapted to the change and now sees the break from the JWs as a very positive thing.

I found the best approach for Kes was not to rush him and give him space and reassurance so he could find his way. I made sure that key people such as his school teacher and carers were aware of the situation so they could support him as well.

If his carers are JWs then they may do more harm than good continuing in the role. New carers who put their role first rather than a religious edict may be more helpful whilst your brother is in this stressful transition period.

49

My 71st Birthday Confessional

by TerryWalstrom in

jw
friends

i was born january 15, 1947in mt.

carmel hospital, detroit, michigan.. within six months of my birth, my mother would bundle her baby boy into a blanket and board an american airlines propeller-driven plane--in effect, leaving my father behind--to return to her hometown, ft. worth, texas.. my dad had an excellent job working for cadillac as an inspector.

it was a union job.

nugget

Happy birthday Terry hope you have a good day you post was intriguing I found it interesting thank you for sharing.

13

Non JW and JW friendships

by ricsa in

jw
friends

himy story is as follows.

i've been friends with a guy for round 1,5 years.

he told me once he had another guy friend who was gay.

nugget

The fact that he has only recently confessed to you he is a JW rather than the more acceptable and generic Christian shows a lot. The fact that he also is happy to listen to you talk about your sex life and he has a gay friend would indicate that he is not as devout as you think. A truly devout JW would have no worldly friends only work colleagues and any friendships with people outside the organisation are by nature shallow. They would not be happy to converse about sex and relationships either.

I have found that people who live on the edge like this are the most likely to shun and throw others under the bus to save themselves. This is partly a distraction so the elders do not look too closely at them and their behavior allowing them to put on a front of respectability whilst they flirt with the world outside the organisation.

24

Come on, Mainstream Media!

by Wild_Thing in

jw
friends

it has been sickening to read the most recently leaked documents by faithleaks.

it makes me so angry because so many of us have experienced first hand the horrible policies of the watchtower on abuse.

i feel like these documents are finally the smoking gun we have all been hoping to expose the watchtower, and so far, the only mainstream news that i have seen pick it up is newsweek.. what will it take for the mainstream media pick this up and give it the attention it deserves?

nugget

For us JW abuse is real and affects us all on a very personal level. For us the organisation was once our whole world and we were led to believe that they were an influential and important group. This is not true they are a small fringe religion with little influence outside their membership and as a result the mainstream media needs more to make JWs newsworthy. By sharing stories and highlighting abuses we do bring the stories to the attention of people who might otherwise never look for these on their own.

19

My fading suffered a miscarriage

by Ireneus in

i thought of successfully fading out, but suffered a miscarriage last week.

i gradually decreased the number of meetings i attended.

in the latter half of the year it became once a month, then once in two months, once in three months ….. last week, two elders who visited me, after their bla..bla..asked: “where will you go leaving the motherly organization—the only truth now available on earth?”.

nugget

I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage I hope you are ok. It is an emotional time and you could have done without the added pressure of a JC.

It can be an exercise in futility since you have already been judged before you attend. I think you made the right decision to protect yourself from further stress. Certainly this was not an appropriate time for elders to question your faith but a lack of compassion is one of their traits.