When it comes to friends in the organisation that now choose to shun it does not upset me.It irritates me that as adults they allow themselves to behave in this way and that they bully ex members. As adults they make their own choices I accept that their friendship was fragile and conditional.
Shunning by family hurts, it is meant to hurt as it is a coercive technique meant to bully people into doing something they do not wish to do. When you are told by family they love you it means something and you have higher expectations of family members. When they behave just like everyone else sometimes worse than others you realise you were never loved unconditionally that the relationship was never what you imagined it was. That they are controlled by people they never met it can throw you off balance. It is hard to accept that especially since everything they do is based on a lie.