notewe

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Posts by notewe

• 
  26

  finding support

  by notewe in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  still a newbie!

  first post i have ever made.

  but realizing i need to move on....and for the first time in my life admitting i need support (have always been the "strong" one).

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  notewe

  Thank you mamochan13. I found the same in trying to talk to to others the few times I did. There is so much misunderstanding out there...that I found myself explaining, and even at times defending instead of just being able to talk things thru. I guess this is why I finally posted on here.....and I am so appreciative of the response. Thank you!
• 
  26

  finding support

  by notewe in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  still a newbie!

  first post i have ever made.

  but realizing i need to move on....and for the first time in my life admitting i need support (have always been the "strong" one).

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  notewe

  Thanks! I will take some of your suggestions...and will be sure to PM back :)
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  26

  finding support

  by notewe in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  still a newbie!

  first post i have ever made.

  but realizing i need to move on....and for the first time in my life admitting i need support (have always been the "strong" one).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notewe

  Thank you both for the phone numbers!!
• 
  26

  finding support

  by notewe in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  still a newbie!

  first post i have ever made.

  but realizing i need to move on....and for the first time in my life admitting i need support (have always been the "strong" one).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notewe

  Thank you for all of the response! Actually quite surprised and grateful. I presently am in Canada...Alberta to be more specific. I was raised as a Witness. Up to two years ago was one of those that people looked to as one of the "examples"....or strong ones as it were. But I have always struggled with feelings that I do not measure up. I remember when I was 7, a brother talking about the New System from the stage...and how it would be with the animals in paradise. I started to cry because I didn't want the New Order to come yet. I felt I wasn't good enough, and would be destroyed. Something a little wacked about that if you ask me. Why would a 7 year old not be good enough? But thru the years, even while I was pioneering, I have never felt that feeling that I am "blessed". Or having a portion of the Holy Spirit, like others speak of. I would come away from the convention or assembly depressed. It always felt like I had just spent hours/days being told that I still was not measuring up. I realize that some of this is because I am a person that tends to be an over achiever, but at some point I should have felt loved, or good about being in the organization shouldn't have I? And when I started to miss meetings, all those people that were my friends, "family", who I was always there for as their confidant, and support, where were they? No where. Actually got attitude. Like I was bad association because I missed a couple of weeks in a row of meetings. To be fair...not by EVERYONE. But definitely from the shepherds in the congregation. This just confirmed to me that I don't measure up! Guess I just finally gave up...

  Anyways...not trying to do the poor me thing. There is of course MUCH more to the story that have lead me to this decision. I just am having a hard time moving on. I don't have any family....I had made those in the congregation my family. I need to move on, and it is hard for others to understand that have never been one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Looking forward to getting some constructive suggestions from some of you out there.

  Thanks again :)
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  17

  Question about disfellowshipping/disassociation

  by TweetieBird in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if someone sends an email or text to an elder telling them that they are involved in a wrongdoing and not planning on stopping and then does not respond to reply emails or text messages from that elder, what will happen?

  can the elders announce at a meeting that so and so is no longer a jw or do they have to inform them first?

  i have a friend that did this and 2 elders came by her work to see her but she wasn't there, then they tried to call her at work but she told her co-workers to tell them that she was in a meeting.

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  notewe

  If she has already told them of a wrong doing...and has no intention of coming back, most likely after many attempts of trying to contact her...it will be announced that she is no long one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Sounds like what she wants anyways right?
• 
  26

  finding support

  by notewe in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  still a newbie!

  first post i have ever made.

  but realizing i need to move on....and for the first time in my life admitting i need support (have always been the "strong" one).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  notewe

  Still a newbie! First post I have ever made. But realizing I need to move on....and for the first time in my life admitting I need support (have always been the "strong" one). I have left of my own accord. But feel very alone. Does anyone know how to find support...someone to talk to? I am NOT full of hate for Jehovah's Witnesses. I just need to not feel like I am evil. Is there a way to find someone locally, to talk to discreetly?
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  26

  i can hear them gloating and it anoys me

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i can imagine the covo over the tea and biscuits after the ministy, " did you hear about sister highdose?"...

  " shes gone apostate!"...

  " not surprised... she always looked the type you know!

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  notewe

  btw...I have said very brave things on here. haha Can't believe I said about the celibate thing...just to clarify....NO not hideous!
• 
  26

  i can hear them gloating and it anoys me

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i can imagine the covo over the tea and biscuits after the ministy, " did you hear about sister highdose?"...

  " shes gone apostate!"...

  " not surprised... she always looked the type you know!

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  notewe

  YA...my story is LONG. But basically, now an adult that was raised "around" the truth. Neither parent stellar examples. I left two years ago. Not disfellowshipped...just had it. NEVER measured up. Even with 3 kids in the house, and regular auxillary...bookstudy in my home...THE social place in the congregation. Supposedly a "pillar" in the congregation. The moment I missed three weeks of meetings because of work...the talk started. I was shocked. I was NEVER that way with other, always tried to help others. I thought we are taught, do to others what you want done to you!!! There is SO much more...SO MUCH. But...I need to take the next step. I need to leave a relationship that is so toxic. I have been celibate for over a year....this is not working for me haha. But I do not want to bring shame to my children. They are the most amazing loving people, I do not want to bring the feelings of shame that were brought to me when my parents/family were bad examples as Jehovah's Witnesses. But I also need to be able to be in a healthy relationship with someone that will love me even half as much as I love them before I die. I kinda rambled...sorry...just typing as I think. I don't hate...I just want the chance to be at peace without being hated.
• 
  26

  i can hear them gloating and it anoys me

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i can imagine the covo over the tea and biscuits after the ministy, " did you hear about sister highdose?"...

  " shes gone apostate!"...

  " not surprised... she always looked the type you know!

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  notewe

  JWinprotest

  I am the LEAST judgmental person you will every meet...EVERYONE I have ever known will tell you that. Do not judge lest you be judged! It doesn't taking being a judgmental person to feel judged!! Quite the opposite. Some of us...aka ME...are on here (for the first time) because they feel unworthy, and are looking, hoping to find answers. That maybe some others have felt the same way, and have been able to rise above these paralyzing feelings. Hoping to learn from them.
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  26

  i can hear them gloating and it anoys me

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i can imagine the covo over the tea and biscuits after the ministy, " did you hear about sister highdose?"...

  " shes gone apostate!"...

  " not surprised... she always looked the type you know!

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• 

  notewe

  Elsewhere...what you just said makes absolute sense to me!! (newbie here)

  My question to highdose is, why would they say that about you? And if you have heard these people talk this way about others, THEY are going against every thing they are taught...and "stand for"!

  Again..newbie here. Searching and hoping I can find some answers here. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be here. But I am...never say never! And help?