it's impossible to leave with your reputation in tact
This is very true. Its how cults set things up, there is no honorable way to leave. Because why in the world would you ever leave The Truth/God.
It takes time to accept that these are simply cult rules and you then decide what works for your circumstances. The great majority end up realizing freedom is much more of a prize than cult friends. When you are ready you will be able to leave without worrying or caring what these folks think of you.