I was in your place before and made some of the mistakes that it sounds like your headed for.
I understand lonely, its very tough leaving a cult and losing a life partner. But nobody else can fulfill what you feel is missing. You need to take a little time alone and get used to that feeling, and eventually be OK with yourself. Entering some sort of relationship while you aren't 100% whole and complete is a bad idea, as you will attract the same kind of person.
Take a year off where you simply focus on yourself. Extract yourself from the cult all the way and make some new platonic friends. Once you do this you will be ready for a new partner.