Both. Just as long as it's not at that scratchy phase, I'm good.
Posts by xmkx
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9
when something bad happens in your life
by rockmehardplace inwhen something bad happened in your life or someone that you knew, did anyone ever say it was because you/that person must be doing something wrong and that jehovah stopped blessing you/that person?.
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xmkx
I remember this as being a common outlook among the JWs. Indeed, it is a negative and unhealthy outlook to have, especially when one gets in to the mode of thinking where everything bad that happens is Satan's fault and everything good that happens is from Jehovah or that Jehovah punishes you for completely unrelated behavior by having bad things happen.
When something bad happens, it's more productive and healthier to look at it as a learning experience. You may have done something to cause that bad thing to happen or you may have done nothing at all to cause it, but the fact is it is still an event that can be learned from.
Example: I get robbed while walking down the sidewalk. Obviously, I did not do anything to cause it. However, I can learn from it. There may have been safety precautions I could have taken to help prevent the robbery, or I can learn not to be so attached to material possessions, or I could even learn about the different factors that may have influenced that person to steal from another (drugs, poverty, poor morals, etc.) and gain a better understanding of behavior that is out of the norm for me. Either way I can use that event to facilitate my own personal growth.
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Is regularly texting/phoning someone (not your partner) cheating?
by sacdfan inhello - can i ask you all for your opinions?.
if your partner (husband/wife, gf/bf etc) was phoning and texting someone approx 20 times per day,would you find it unacceptable?
for example, if your wife was texting/phoning another brother (also married) 20 to 30 times a day, would you get suspicious?
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xmkx
I'm a little on the fence. I would say it depends on past behavior and also what other suspicious activity is going on. I and my husband both grew up getting along with the opposite sex better than we did the same sex. My husband is too "feminine" for most guys and I am too "masculine" for most females as far as interests go, so most of our friends tend to be of the opposite sex. I have one male friend in particular right now that I've been texting a lot and it's just because he's having a rough time right now (depression) and I'm probably the best friend he has at the moment and the only one that's encouraging him to seek therapy.
If this person has a history of getting along better with the opposite sex and isn't involved in any other suspicious behavior such as hiding these conversations, becoming less emotionally available, sneaking out, etc. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
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What is the best thing you did to recover after leaving the JWs?
by Lady Lee ini often get inspiration for threads from pms from other posters.
here is one that i thought i would put out there to get your recommendations?.
what is the best thing you did?.
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xmkx
I did all the things I had always wanted to do but never got to do. One of the major things for me was being able to study other religions and philosophies freely and determining for myself what I believed. I was born in to the organization so I didn't really know what I believed, just what I had been told.
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While You Were A JW Did You Feel Controlled?
by minimus inthe governing body constantly tries to impose its will on jehovah's witnesses.
they really don't want you to do anything but society approved things.
everything is "bad".. we can see this quite clearly at this point.
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xmkx
I felt like I was being controlled but I did not conscientiously think I was being controlled until I started trying to get out... then it hit me full force how controlled I really was. I DAed and my family still forced me to go to meetings and assemblies!
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"your just happier now because you don't have to be good any more!"
by highdose insorry about the false start.. .
this above phrase was recently said to me by a dub, when i told them that i didn't attend any more and that i felt much better for it.
" i asked " did i have so much agony with low self esteam, self hatred and no confidence while in a religon that is supposed to have gods blessing, and yet when i leave it all those problems dissapear?".
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xmkx
No one can be forced to be good, and one's membership in an organization does not determine how good they are. It's a personal choice that lies in the heart. It's not something that can be judged or enforced by the rules of an equally sinful man made organization. I answer to "Jehovah" and him alone now.
Food for thought: A sociopath could be an active member of the organization and follow all the rules the Society puts out. Does that make them "good"?
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Jehovah's Witnesses - Trained to Argue
by AllTimeJeff inalthough a cult, jehovah's witnesses should not be underestimated as to their smarts.
sometimes, exiting jw's, due to indoctrination, feel a lot of guilt for leaving.
of course, the governing body wouldn't have it any other way.. upon leaving, many for the first time feel a freedom to express themselves, which is as it should be.
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xmkx
Actually I enjoy NOT arguing more than anything else. I like being able to participate in an honest exchange of information between people, even if those people have completely different opinions from me. I wasn't very much different as a JW, either... which interestingly enough is one of the things I was constantly getting counseled about. :P
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A question for Christians
by paul from cleveland injesus said to 'go your way and sin no more' and the bible also says not to 'use the grace of god as an excuse to sin'.
however the bible also says that 'all sin and fall short of the glory of god'.
this means that we can only partially obey the commandment to be sinless.
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xmkx
Sin is in our nature. Adam and Eve put us in quite a predicament. We want to take God's place as Judge over ourselves and if that isn't bad enough we at least have some idea of good and bad thanks to them eating the fruit but don't have a full understanding of it. So we sin unknowingly AND we sin knowingly then feel guilty about it and beat ourselves up over it, which incidently enough results in yet even more sin.
God felt sympathy for us and loved us even more than a father loves his child so He came to earth and died so that we could be freed from sin and become holy in His eyes. There are a lot of different concepts on how atonement actually works, but that is the gist of it. Grace was born from this. It is complete and pure love for you with forgiveness of your sins, past, present, future, unknown, known. All of it. Once one experiences grace it is no longer an issue of making the effort not to sin. They naturally avoid it where possible, repent when they do, don't worry about about the unknown sins, and are freed from the guilt that comes with sin because they have been washed clean of sin through Christ.
I used to beat myself up mentally over my sins, beg God for forgiveness, fear His punishment, and walk away unsure if I was forgiven or if God loved me. Once I accepted His love and sacrifice I felt more peaceful than I ever have in my life. I find myself naturally being a better person because Christ has shown me the way. I'm still a sinful creature by nature, but I trust God and God alone to judge me rather than judging myself and draw peace from the knowledge that God loves me, understands me, and has promised me salvation from my sins. When I knowingly commit a sin rather than feel guilty about it I pray to God and repent of the sin. This involves simply acknowledging that I sinned and asking for His help. God doesn't want your guilt any more than a father wants his child to walk around feeling guilty. He wants your love, acceptance, and recognition of what He has done for you - the same things a physical father wants from his child. It is a personal relationship with a spiritual father that loves and understands you more than you can even begin to imagine.
It should be noted that if you have psychological issues like a lack of self love it's going to be a lot harder to recognize God's love. I struggled with the concept of atonement and grace for a loooong time and it wasn't until I went through therapy for my psychological issues (such as lack of self love and a big fat list of WBTS indoctrinated fears such as being wrong about God and getting destroyed) that I got to the point where I was able to recognize and accept these concepts.
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xmkx
They make the sisters wear skirts up there even in winter? Can they at least put pants on underneath?
You couldn't catch me dead in a skirt up north during winter. Too freaking cold. Brrr.
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I passed the GED test!!!
by noni1974 ini went last week and took it after studying on my own for months.
i thought i needed some help so i went and signed up for ged classes.
they test you to see where you are.
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xmkx
Great job! I'm glad to hear you're planning on continuing your education on to college. I've found that my high school education was really just setting the foundation for college. High school education teaches you the facts but college teaches you why they are facts and how to think critically about the information that is presented to you in the future (of course along with teaching you a trade). I hated high school but I absolutely love college. :)