Hello Diamond.
I was a happy JW, married to a great gal, pioneer, and loved my inlaws and my friends in the Org. My zeal to bring into the "truth" a workmate was the beginning of the end of my marriage. He shared with me the info you see on the internet today.
I began asking lots of tough questions. My wife watched the videos, read Crisis of Conscience, saw the false dates, saw the wrongness of the blood issue, but in the end she did not *want* to leave, lose her family, and the only thing she'd ever known. I made up my mind I was out for good, and began attending other churches to see what they were all about. (I was raised in the JWs)
We moved away from town to get away from the pressure and start over somewhere new. I thought it was worth it to try and save the marriage. Our relationship began to deteriorate because my wife was very lonely going to the meetings alone. She took my rejection of the JWs as a rejection of her and her family. She was terribly upset and hurt and *embarassed* for herself and her family. She was very well known in the JW community, and now she found herself married to "an apostate."
I began a habit I recommend you NOT do. Every day I came home from work, I would bring up the Watchtower and its deceptions, and like a lawyer (I work with lawyers) I would begin dissecting their doctrine like a lab frog. Basically I began browbeating the hell out of my wife much like a lawyer will browbeat a shaky witness on the stand in court. I did this for two reasons. I was pissed off in the extreme that I had been lied to by the Governing Body, and I took her refusal to leave as a rejection of me. I felt if I pushed her, and shared the information with her, she would leave, and our marriage would be saved and we could be together.
She told me her conscience was bothering her, and she reported me to the elders a second time. Since I knew it was a matter of time before I got DF'd, I went to the hall, gave them my DA letter and left. I felt so betrayed I told my wife I didn't want her in the house anymore. She left. We talked many times about reconciling, but in the end we divorced. Too hard to make it work, a JW and a non-JW. We were living separate lives. The above took place over several years.
If I had it to do all over again, I would have done it different.
I never would have disassociated for one. Secondly, instead of browbeating my wife on the issues, I would have made sure she was emotionally secure in our relationship. I would have told her every day that I was upset because I loved her, I cared about her, and I never wanted us to break apart. In other words, I would have shared the information that exposed the Society, but I would not have let my anger and disapointment at her not leaving with me stop me from letting her know I was there for her. I became very cold and distant from her. I could see I was going to lose the beautiful life I had constructed for myself and was depressed and in shock for a long time.
In retrospect, no matter what I did, it may have turned out like it has. I don't hold out much hope for your marriage unless you think your spouse will eventually share your views. Why? Because your spouse will be at a church four days a week (I'm including a service day) hanging out with people who will view you as worse than vile and do not consider you worthy of even being spoken to. If these are your wife's closest friends, how will she feel toward you?
Whatever you decide to do, best of luck to you. I don't regret my decision despite the consequences. I just wished I had handled it different.
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"The truth will set you free--but first it will make you damn mad."
M. Scott Peck - "The Different Drum"
