None of it mde logical sense to me, even in childhood, yet I thought it was me that was the problem and Inwould not leave until I was 24 after confirming that it was not that I "did not have the right heart condition" but that it was all a pile of garbage. I could never understand why god would value blind faith over logical reasoning amd fairness. I didn't like the wt god at all and simply tried my best to do what I was supposed to do to avoid losing my chance at immortality. The 1995 Generation change really rocked me, even at 12. But i put all my doubts down to me being weak in faith. A turning point was trying to explain to an ICU doctor why a particular blood fraction treatment was ok for a family member, but not a major component. He said "I don't understand" and I said, almost surprising myself, "neither do I". The HLC (Idiots) suggested treatments for this family member that were swiftly dismissed by these doctors with sound basis. I realised that most of the information we were given was well out of date, if it was ever relevant at all. Prior to that ainhad been led to believe that JW leadership was very up-to-date and well versed in medical care with blood alternatives and that these were not only morally right, but medically better than conventional treatment. That view was quickly shattered over a few days when I realised we were on our own, and I had to figure out a treatment this family member could have, and then convince them ot was ok. That was definitely the beginning of the end for me. It may sound silly but I also became jaded when my pet dog died at a grand old age, whom I believed would live forever with me into the new system. I prayed for that every night, but I had to watch him slowly deteriorate until he was unable to eat and clearly suffering, I had to have him put to sleep. Clearly my prayers fell on deaf ears. The Daniel book also made me realise they were just making things up as they went. It wasn't until I started researching on the evil internet I realised I wasn't the only one with a brain. It was all over for me within a few hours of finding info on 607 (which was one of my own personal "proofs" up until that point), studies in the scriptures craziness, freemason symbolism, beth sarim, prior prophecies for the end times, 2 winess rule, blood, UN NGO, etc, etc... just stopped going cold turkey.
