TD-Good job!!!
Your spouse should be #1. This is your partner and together, you raise your children by giving them examples of your commitment to each other. Husbands and wives are to 'cling to each other' and are the leaders of their family team [team Jones, team Doe, team Ricktover, what ever]
In Greek there are several words for love that describe different kinds of love.
There is a different word for the love of a spouse [eros I think] compared to the love that you have for your child, compared to the love of a place or a food, etc.
Point is, that if you do not put your spouse first, then you are NOT giving a good example for your children [who should learn that your spouse is #1].