Posts by Aphrael

83

If you felt/feel that you had/have good, close "friends" in the org, how did/does it feel to just give them up?

by Crisis of Conscience in

jw
friends

this is my biggest dilema.

although mentally i really feel i could walk away from the org right now, i still have genuine love for the people i have come to know over the years.

i love people!.

Aphrael

I miss my friends alot, but I miss my family more. My parents were more than just my parents, they were my friends too and my brother and I were so close I was his 'best girl' when he got married. I cannot explain how much grief I felt losing them (i was disf)- it is like they live in an alternative universe or they've died, except they are living five minutes away from me, and any minute I could drive past them in the car, or bump into them at the supermarket.

At the beginning you think you will never cope, and you just survive. I very fortunate to have a very loving partner who picks me up and sustains me throughout a lot. After a while you learn to live, but sometimes the hurt strikes you again when you least expect it. Normally something stupid like a film you used to watch with them, or a song.

I've found it hard to make friends outside the org, but have found surprising support with the people I work with, who have done things for me because they want to, not because an org is making them, and that has been surprising and heartwarming and these are the beginnings of new friendships. And they know my background, they know who I used to be and they still like me!

CoC - you have to do what is right for you and you alone. I hope you are able to decide without being torn in two inside.

Take care

Aphrael

71

I would like to hear your experiences with being SHUNNED

by jwfacts in

i am going to put together a page of short experiences of how shunning has affected exjws.

you do not have to be disfellowshipped, even if you were shunned after being marked or after fading.

all comments are welcome, such as who shunned you, how long since family have spoken to you, what your situation is, why you are being shunned and how it has made you feel.

Aphrael

I was dis-fellowshipped last year. I was very distressed and depressed and would phone my dad on occasions, crying, and he said I couldn't keep phoning him. One time I said I really needed to speak to him about something and he said to email him. I had to take something round to his house and when I rang the bell, he told me to leave it outside, he wouldn't even open the door! When I moved into my house, I had to pick up keys from him and was surprised when he invited me in. He said he would do jobs for me, and then when he realised that my boyf would be living with me he then said he couldn't do anything for me then. My mum just stood there and cried and said this couldn't go on and i had to change it. When I replied that she could phone me, she said that she couldn't because she had to be loyal.

My uncle continued to speak to me and he was really great and I would go around once a week for dinner. He said I was his neice and that he couldn't ignore me and that he would say this before Jehovah. After a couple of months I suddenly received a phone call from him at work. He said that someone had seen me coming round to his and had told the elders. He had been taken in the back room and was told that if he continued to associate with me that he would ruin his relationship with Jehovah and that how could darkness have association with light (obviously i'm the darkness) and how the table of God be mixed up with the table of demons. He was evidently very upset, but said I could still come, but he wanted to tell me but would leave it up to my conscience. Well how could I keep going round, when he was so afraid himself of being disfellowshipped. So I stopped going. I felt like i'd been emptied out.

None of my old friends have anything to do with me, and those I have seen out have walked past like i'm a complete stranger. I've been quite lucky that i've only seen a few. My town is not too small!

However, on a bright note, my boyf has been unbelievably supportive and has been there to pick me up off the floor each time and we are building our own little family

13

HERE IS YOUR INVITATION

by iknowall558 in

jehovah's witnesses news, library, history, videos, talks, illustrationsinvitation for memorial day [hd]we would like to invite everyone for this very special occasion remembering jesus death also, he took a loaf, gave thanks, broke it, and gave it to them, saying: this means my body which is to be given in your behalf.

keep doing this in remembrance of me.

luke 22:19 ... when: march 30,2010 at 7pm where: kingdom hall of jehovah's witnesses brgy .san anton san pablo city length:2:22

Aphrael

This will be the first time I have ever not been to a memorial too, but I do plan to celebrate Jesus' death, just not the JW way.

I always found it hard to understand how it was that if you were of the 'other sheep' you didn't seem to count as much. You know, most of the new testament not applying to you etc...

Just wondering how my mum and dad are going to be though - i think they will be very sad.

Aphrael

10

Wierd things only ex-cult members notice...

by Tuesday in

jw
friends

so the company i currently work for had a big town hall type meeting.

they had all these various parts to them to address subjects in some sort of "fun" way.

the first thing was about speech patterns, now maybe this is the ex-cult member in me but the whole thing set off my bs alarm and specifically the behavior control in the bite method of cult mind control.. the meeting continues and i notice it's specifically employing love bombing, then a skit that deals with emotional control.

Aphrael

Elsewhere,

Thank you for posting part of Steve Hassan's book.

It was eye-opening

Aphrael