It was 1 year ago today that she died, way too soon. She was a great singer and songwriter and I was lucky enough to see her in concert twice. Unlike these no talent hacks out nowadays, she really could sing, write, and play instruments. She was one of the few celebrity deaths that hurt my heart. Some of my favorite songs by her: Portugese love (of course), Ooh la la, Dejavu, Out on a limb. If anyone has any youtubes of her please post!
serenitynow!
JoinedPosts by serenitynow!
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I still miss Teena Marie...
by serenitynow! init was 1 year ago today that she died, way too soon.
she was a great singer and songwriter and i was lucky enough to see her in concert twice.
unlike these no talent hacks out nowadays, she really could sing, write, and play instruments.
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Emotionally blackmailing an acutely mentally ill person!
by serenitynow! inso my sister recently got out of the hospital after being suicidal and expressing a lot of delusional thoughts.
she is doing a lot better, but she is by no means back to her normal self.
my sister is an exjw, technically just inactive, but she reads the several versions of the bible and prays.
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serenitynow!
It's funny that my sister knew my aunt was all about conditional love before I did. When I was upset about my conversation with my aunt on 9/10 about the infamous mentally diseased article and she called me an apostate and said that I was dead to her, my sister was like "perhaps she never felt about you the way you felt about her."
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I cannot believe my father called me to ask this!
by serenitynow! inso my father, a jw bum who abandoned us when we were children to be with his pioneer whore, called me tonight and left a message.
this is surprising because i have not seen or spoken to him for a couple of years, other than to leave a message a couple of weeks ago to tell him that i had to hospitalize my sister for being suicidal.. i found out about a week ago that one of his very good friends, a brother whose family used to go to the hall with us and used to be close to when we were children is dying in the hospital after having a couple of strokes and a heart attack.
they've been talking about taking him off of the ventilator for a few days.
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serenitynow!
Thank you for your interesting perspective Tom. I have gotten to the point in my life where I understand that I cannot fix my parents. It's not my job. Holding my father's hand to help him through his friend's impending death is not my job. I have dealt with the effects his behaviour has had on me in therapy, so I am usually ok, until I have to deal with some special circumstances. Both of my parents are manipulative. I have put them both on notice that I am not going to have a relationship with either if/until they are able to be nurturing. The ball is in their court. I had to sit there in childhood and allow them to hurt me; as an adult I am putting my foot down. I don't want anyone in my life who does not like me. I have nothing to feel guilty about.
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Does anyone else want to go to a Christmas service?
by serenitynow! infor some reason i want to go to a church service tomorrow.
maybe i'll go over to the life church.
is anyone going to church tomorrow?
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serenitynow!
Mmmm, love the Waffle House! I didn't go to church, I just slept in.
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I cannot believe my father called me to ask this!
by serenitynow! inso my father, a jw bum who abandoned us when we were children to be with his pioneer whore, called me tonight and left a message.
this is surprising because i have not seen or spoken to him for a couple of years, other than to leave a message a couple of weeks ago to tell him that i had to hospitalize my sister for being suicidal.. i found out about a week ago that one of his very good friends, a brother whose family used to go to the hall with us and used to be close to when we were children is dying in the hospital after having a couple of strokes and a heart attack.
they've been talking about taking him off of the ventilator for a few days.
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serenitynow!
If you handle things right, you will have your day to calmly let him know how his decisions affected you personally and the way it changed your life and those closest to him.
I understand what you are trying to say FHN, but I have done that. My father and I briefly had a friendly relationship when I was an adult. His idea of having a relationship is where he acts like we are buddies, we go to the movies, he comes over my house and eats my food. A very superficial relationship where we never talk about any of the painful issues that I am still dealing with from childhood. A relationship with him is one where he can simply say he is sorry about all that stuff in the past, not explain anything, not ask how it affected me and how he can help me work through it.
It was after I had a friendly relationship with him that cooled a bit for some reason, that my sister, mom and nephew had a crisis that left them homeless. By that time I was unable to reach my father by phone. This has often been his M.O.; in our childhood we often had no idea where he was living, or what his phone number was.
I did know what hall he went to. He went to the hall right across from me. A double hall where there were times our congregations met at the same times and he would pass me in the foyer and not even speak to me.
Anyway, since this was a family crisis, I went to his hall to plead with him to for once in his f-ing life to do the right thing. I approached him after the meeting, and he gave me that smile of his while he said there was nothing he could do to help. Which of course was a big lie. It has always been important to my father to appear to be a good guy, to be well liked by everyone other than his children.
I made a scene at the hall which got me the elders meeting with him, and believe me I poured my heart out about how his behaviour was affecting me. He and the elders didn't care at all.
Fast forward years later, I'm an inactive, but still believing JW. I am still dealing with the abandonment issues, but I am also still pretty pissed about how the organization never disciplined my father for his abandonment of his family. I still believed in the org, and felt that perhaps I had not given it the opportunity to set matters right. And so I wrote NY. I wrote a 5 page typed letter where I outlined how deeply I and my sister were hurt by his abandonment, and his continued lack of concern for our welfare despite him being a JW in good standing.
It was a difficult letter to write, and I was emotionally wrung out by the time I finished. I sent that letter 3 years ago March and have yet to receive a response from the Society BTW.
I did meet with a couple of the elders and my father regarding my letter. Please understand that all interactions I've have with my father and the elders were initiated by me. I went to his hall a few weeks after writing the letter to ask if they had received it, which they did. Even all those years later, my father was still being a bastard. He actually said in the back room that I could have called him. Because of course it is about him, why didn't I try to contact him? The nerve! What I put in the letter, and explained to him and the brothers face to face is that, if I am ever to have a relationship with my father it can only be on my terms. If he is not willing to hear about how he failed, and what he needs to do to get right with me, then we cannot have a relationship. Period.
I'm through being jerked around by him. He and my sister have a relationship. They talk everyday. I'm glad for her. I put in the letter that he can show his repentence to me by being there for my sister and nephew. I'm glad he is in my sister's life. But I cannot have a relationship with him unless I know that it is going to be positive.
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I cannot believe my father called me to ask this!
by serenitynow! inso my father, a jw bum who abandoned us when we were children to be with his pioneer whore, called me tonight and left a message.
this is surprising because i have not seen or spoken to him for a couple of years, other than to leave a message a couple of weeks ago to tell him that i had to hospitalize my sister for being suicidal.. i found out about a week ago that one of his very good friends, a brother whose family used to go to the hall with us and used to be close to when we were children is dying in the hospital after having a couple of strokes and a heart attack.
they've been talking about taking him off of the ventilator for a few days.
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serenitynow!
I know some people will think that I am cruel and vindictive, but I have long awaited the day where he needed me more than I needed him. Since all those days when I wanted and needed my father and he refused to be there I have awaited the day where he would need me. I have always suspected that my father was just an opportunist, a user. And he is. He is now taking care of his last living sister, who has Alzheimer's. He is probably only caring for her because she is giving him a place to stay. He sees now how hard it is, and he is seeing his own mortality; he will be 65 or 66 in January, and having been a window washer with tax problems all his life, I am sure he does not have adequate retirement plans. I honestly believe that is the only reason that he has reconnected with my sister. My sister will probably be kindhearted enough to care for him in his declining years. Not me. Nothing would please me more than seeing him dying alone in an alley somewhere.
We should all better believe that you reap what you sow.
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Does anyone else want to go to a Christmas service?
by serenitynow! infor some reason i want to go to a church service tomorrow.
maybe i'll go over to the life church.
is anyone going to church tomorrow?
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serenitynow!
Cool Flying High! I shudder to think how joyless the KH will be tomorrow!
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I cannot believe my father called me to ask this!
by serenitynow! inso my father, a jw bum who abandoned us when we were children to be with his pioneer whore, called me tonight and left a message.
this is surprising because i have not seen or spoken to him for a couple of years, other than to leave a message a couple of weeks ago to tell him that i had to hospitalize my sister for being suicidal.. i found out about a week ago that one of his very good friends, a brother whose family used to go to the hall with us and used to be close to when we were children is dying in the hospital after having a couple of strokes and a heart attack.
they've been talking about taking him off of the ventilator for a few days.
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serenitynow!
That's what I'm saying, EP!
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I cannot believe my father called me to ask this!
by serenitynow! inso my father, a jw bum who abandoned us when we were children to be with his pioneer whore, called me tonight and left a message.
this is surprising because i have not seen or spoken to him for a couple of years, other than to leave a message a couple of weeks ago to tell him that i had to hospitalize my sister for being suicidal.. i found out about a week ago that one of his very good friends, a brother whose family used to go to the hall with us and used to be close to when we were children is dying in the hospital after having a couple of strokes and a heart attack.
they've been talking about taking him off of the ventilator for a few days.
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serenitynow!
So my father, a JW bum who abandoned us when we were children to be with his pioneer whore, called me tonight and left a message. This is surprising because I have not seen or spoken to him for a couple of years, other than to leave a message a couple of weeks ago to tell him that I had to hospitalize my sister for being suicidal.
I found out about a week ago that one of his very good friends, a brother whose family used to go to the hall with us and used to be close to when we were children is dying in the hospital after having a couple of strokes and a heart attack. They've been talking about taking him off of the ventilator for a few days. Anyway, my father called me to ask me to go to the hospital with him to see this brother. Why he would ask me is strange. I do know that my sister told me that she will not be going to this brother's funeral because of not wanting to see one of his family members that will be there. I've always considered my father to be a weak man, so I guess him being fearful of going to the hospital on his own to see his friend should not be surprising.
I'm just shocked that he would have the audacity to call me to ask for help.
I can't begin to express the emotional toll that his abandonment had on me, both as a child and now as an adult.
Just over 10 years ago, when I was very much an active, believing JW, I was taking care of my JW grandma who had Alzheimer's. My mother, sister and nephew were about to be homeless, and I went to my father at his congregation and begged him to take my sister and nephew in. He flatly refused. I met with him, the entire BOE with the CO (son of a bitch Roseborough) and cried my eyes out, I was so stressed and frustrated. He just sat there smirking at me, the elders refused to step in and condemn him for his lack of concern for his own kid, and all they did was scowl at me they were so angry. My sister and nephew spent months at a homeless shelter, while he lived in a 2 story home and was an active JW. Mind you, he never even gave me a reason why he would not help his own child.
When grandma died, and I went through a very long period of debilitating depression, not once did he contact me to provide emotional support.
So now all of the sudden, he wants me to go and provide emotional support for him. Son of a bitch!
I know it's Christmas and all, but fuck him!
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Does anyone else want to go to a Christmas service?
by serenitynow! infor some reason i want to go to a church service tomorrow.
maybe i'll go over to the life church.
is anyone going to church tomorrow?
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serenitynow!
Merry Christmas!