feelings of depression were because I obviously had a guilty concience and needed to sort myself out and that my low hours were a sign of Jehovah's spirit not being with me
ambersun - your comments are spot on with this topic - exactly about what it is like to do the job of pioneering. Interesting logic from the CO - he din't approve of you so your hardships are a result of your guilt and lack of faith. If he did approve of you I'm sure your hardships would be a result of being tested because of your excellent faith.
Isn't it terrible you have to go through something so bad until you finally realise you are doing a pointless, thankless job. The lovebombing and recognition is all at the start - when people join or when they start pioneering - pretty soon you're on your own and just someone to complain about and victimise.
Sisters are certainly a lower class to males in the truth - that is what gets reinforced every meeting. As a young MS I'd take a FS group with experienced pioneer sisters and they had to listen to me just because i was male - rubbish. I've since worked for some amazingly talented women and I know that if they were JW's their skills and opinions would be worthless.
mmxiv