Posts by freeflyingfaerie

27

~Moving forward..searching for a good therapist~

by freeflyingfaerie in

alright, that's it!

after writing this, i am on a serious search for a good therapist~.

i've been coming here on and off for a little over a year now(wish i had found it sooner) ...for validation and clarity in my feelings about how hurtful the religion is...so i don't feel so alone about it, and so i don't feel like i am losing my mind~.

freeflyingfaerie

Thanks for understanding

27

~Moving forward..searching for a good therapist~

by freeflyingfaerie in

alright, that's it!

after writing this, i am on a serious search for a good therapist~.

i've been coming here on and off for a little over a year now(wish i had found it sooner) ...for validation and clarity in my feelings about how hurtful the religion is...so i don't feel so alone about it, and so i don't feel like i am losing my mind~.

freeflyingfaerie

Hi talesin~

I asked him about having any experience w the religion. He said he has seen several people who were JW. He knew some of the lingo, realises I was brainwashed and sheltered..it went pretty well

And everyone~

I have to retract here and clarify...this is not my very first therapy session ever. Sorry if I was misleading. This is the first time I'm considering therapy to get it all out, not like before when I was in a crisis. There were about 3 sessions I went to with my ex-husband when we tried to reconcile. It was a nitemare, the therapist helped me confirm my decision to leave him once and for all. She was a life saver. She was there to help me see clearly during that crisis. But since then, after detoxing my life from that, the drama wasn't there, so I didnt consider therapy again, I hadn't really wanted to really give it a try.. until recently.

And its in such a different context. It is the calm after the storm in a way. I'm not looking for a way out of a crisis, or anwers to life's most perplexing questions, no urgency...just a good sounding board..and to help to keep processing all that has happened these past several years especially. Sorry if I am confusing. The therapist we saw was during an extremely intense time, so it seemed like life-or-death and it was a sort-of emergency. Then when I left, I had a few phone sessions with her. This may seem strange, but it was almost like once she had helped me out of that crisis initially, that's all I wanted, and didn't see myself wanting her or another therapist to walk me through life. I didn't want to have to be helped. I did'n't want to hear structure so much. I wanted to figure things out myself.

Couple that with getting back on my feet, which was very energy consuming,and was occupying me. Also I was finding other outlets, other ways to heal that felt right. In the back of my mind i thought of therapy, but didn't want any 'conventional' type of influence in my life like therapy(even though it did help me through the super-rough waters). I wanted to do things on my own, and it felt powerful. And I still feel that way, but looking back, I see the value of a therapist. So that brings me to now, its trying a therapist in a whole new way

If you made it through that, hope your head is not spinning

12

Her name is "Yamin"

by possible-san in

her name is "yamin.".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tihllolqgv0.

.

freeflyingfaerie

How sweet!

27

~Moving forward..searching for a good therapist~

by freeflyingfaerie in

alright, that's it!

after writing this, i am on a serious search for a good therapist~.

i've been coming here on and off for a little over a year now(wish i had found it sooner) ...for validation and clarity in my feelings about how hurtful the religion is...so i don't feel so alone about it, and so i don't feel like i am losing my mind~.

freeflyingfaerie

Stephanie H~

You really are a sweety. That might have sounded aloof what I said about therapy and also my family..in actuality, I try not to care so much, because it gets to be really heavy..still learning to let go, still learning balance in all of this. I hope the best for you in your college, you'll be wonderful, especially having experienced the pain yourself.

The religion really hits you where it hurts. They know people's needs to have closeness with the ones we love and they sure use that as a weapon to prey on our emotions. And knowing this gives me all the more reason to be happy to not be a part of it. The religion will never have the satisfaction of using my family and friends to get me to come back, as much as it pains me to miss them all.

This is a most hurtful aspect of cultish mind-workings.

Thanks again for the supportive comments, i really do appreciate it

77

Please Do a 13-Word Sentence Describing How You Feel Right Now

by snowbird in

right now, i feel lower than a dead dog on flatwoods plantation road.. syl.

freeflyingfaerie

BoleynGirl~

77

Please Do a 13-Word Sentence Describing How You Feel Right Now

by snowbird in

right now, i feel lower than a dead dog on flatwoods plantation road.. syl.

freeflyingfaerie

enjoyed a massage and steam today and feelin rather groovy , yes I am

27

~Moving forward..searching for a good therapist~

by freeflyingfaerie in

alright, that's it!

after writing this, i am on a serious search for a good therapist~.

i've been coming here on and off for a little over a year now(wish i had found it sooner) ...for validation and clarity in my feelings about how hurtful the religion is...so i don't feel so alone about it, and so i don't feel like i am losing my mind~.

freeflyingfaerie

Stephanie H~

You know what you're doing therapy can only help and if it's not for you then something else will be

Yes, I'm looking to express, vent more..so maybe the sessions will be good, or maybe I just wont feel it..there are many ways to heal, and grow and I dont think therapy sessions are the ultimate, or i would've gone already.

I try to remember they still love me they are just blinded by the cult mind.

So true! And as much as I want them in my life (on my terms, not the religion's) I have been creating a new life for myself and my little ones, and we go on~ It's a great sadness, but hell no will I ever go back just to be with them. The shunning nonsense has backfired in this case.

27

~Moving forward..searching for a good therapist~

by freeflyingfaerie in

alright, that's it!

after writing this, i am on a serious search for a good therapist~.

i've been coming here on and off for a little over a year now(wish i had found it sooner) ...for validation and clarity in my feelings about how hurtful the religion is...so i don't feel so alone about it, and so i don't feel like i am losing my mind~.

freeflyingfaerie

Thank you Broken Promises, StephanieH, Quandry~

Went to therapy this morning, giving it a try.

What's funny is that just yesterday i called my dad, saying hello, and asked to speak w my little sister, and it went very well.(it's been off and on w them, sometimes warm and even a quick "we love you" and "we talk about you all the time" and other times a coldness like they snapped right back into ultra-faithful JW mode and won't allow me to speak w my sister and get all preachy until I want the ground to swallow me up) ...funny it went so well on the phone, and I felt great going into my first session of therapy.

8

Of Teapots and the Tooth Fairy

by AK - Jeff in

jw
friends

"a friend, an intelligent lapsed jew who observes the sabbath for reasons of cultural solidarity, describes himself as a tooth fairy agnostic.

he will not call himself an atheist because it is in principle impossible to prove a negative.

but "agnostic" on its own might suggest that he though god's existence or non-existence equally likely.

freeflyingfaerie

Terra Incognita~ Yes, and there are other books also about people's beliefs in the realness of the fae ...and a llittle movie "Fairy Tale a True Story" based on that very fairy story of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle...

I hope you know I am playful about mermaids, faeries, fantasy...

It makes me happy to have play in life and imagine

27

~Moving forward..searching for a good therapist~

by freeflyingfaerie in

alright, that's it!

after writing this, i am on a serious search for a good therapist~.

i've been coming here on and off for a little over a year now(wish i had found it sooner) ...for validation and clarity in my feelings about how hurtful the religion is...so i don't feel so alone about it, and so i don't feel like i am losing my mind~.

freeflyingfaerie

Thank you, moshe, for that.

That's wonderful that you still have your wife, daughter, family. Not to say poor me, but that is the very something that I don't have anymore and feel a void. But I don't doubt my decisions to have left the controlling people in my life at all. You're right, looking forward is how I've come this far, and there are many things I am very grateful for, and some great experiences and a new life that is in some ways much better than I even imagined( actually, I don't know what I really imagined...just freedom and letting good things happen to me). That is mostly what I try to focus on. And I like to remember the good times, there were some good times, in my past...even as I have said goodbye to it.

This feels like a good place to vent and express, and to feel understood...but I have yet to really express much here. Maybe that time is coming.