If you are joking about suicide bombers, don't. It's not funny.
If you are serious, I hope you will consider talking to a mental health expert.
I know it's difficult when your life is adversely affected, but don't make it your life's goal to destroy the borg. That is something that is completely beyond your control. Make it your life's goal to better yourself in spite of obstacles and to help people. If that includes helping people exit or see TTATT, that's great.