Posts by joannadandy

24

Because I like spin-off discussion...

by joannadandy in

jw
friends

on a thread discussing another thread it was said;.

we'll never be "right", not completely anyway.. so for a spin-off of a spin-off...i'm curious what others thoughts are on this statement?.

is it a worldview a lot of us have?

joannadandy

NVR - I've been away from the board for a while, so I'm sure I've missed your story, how long have you been "out"?

24

Because I like spin-off discussion...

by joannadandy in

jw
friends

on a thread discussing another thread it was said;.

we'll never be "right", not completely anyway.. so for a spin-off of a spin-off...i'm curious what others thoughts are on this statement?.

is it a worldview a lot of us have?

joannadandy

Terri - I gotta say I feel the same way.

I wonder tho if it's just my personal belief, or my experience that makes me feel that way.

I believe anything can be fixed. Eventually wounds heal - even if there is a scar...even in time, those can fade too.

I also think for me - I wonder if I ever really believed. I mean I felt the loss when I left, but I also set about as soon as possible finding a new path instead of thinking about what I was losing.

I also attribute it to having a great ex-jw friend in my area who I could share the whole leaving the JW's process with. I attribute most of my being able to repair quickly to her friendship, and the friendships of others I have met on the boards.

I dunno - I'm not trying to belittle anyone who does feel like they will never be right, I guess I personally don't like the idea that there is nothing I can't fix - or make right. Personal stuborness then...heh heh.

24

Because I like spin-off discussion...

by joannadandy in

jw
friends

on a thread discussing another thread it was said;.

we'll never be "right", not completely anyway.. so for a spin-off of a spin-off...i'm curious what others thoughts are on this statement?.

is it a worldview a lot of us have?

joannadandy

LOL (((IP)))

You crack me up!

24

Because I like spin-off discussion...

by joannadandy in

jw
friends

on a thread discussing another thread it was said;.

we'll never be "right", not completely anyway.. so for a spin-off of a spin-off...i'm curious what others thoughts are on this statement?.

is it a worldview a lot of us have?

joannadandy

lol - ex-nj, true -- but I was going more for if you feel like you'll never be "right".

C'mon -- I know you've got an opinion...unless you're an alien...but I bet even aliens have them...wait I'm still talking about opinions right?

29

Just kick me!

by ButtLight in

jw
friends

right in my arse!.

ok, so im out working on my ex-husbands house.

i was up on the deck sanding, when i felt something pick my finger.

joannadandy

oh no - that's horrible.

Does the jewler you got it from have any kind of replacement policy?

24

Because I like spin-off discussion...

by joannadandy in

jw
friends

on a thread discussing another thread it was said;.

we'll never be "right", not completely anyway.. so for a spin-off of a spin-off...i'm curious what others thoughts are on this statement?.

is it a worldview a lot of us have?

joannadandy

On a thread discussing another thread it was said;

We'll never be "right", not completely anyway.

So for a spin-off of a spin-off...I'm curious what others thoughts are on this statement?

Is it a worldview a lot of us have? Does it ring true? Or is it's truth relative to the amount in which we "believed" it was the "Truth"? Or does it depend on how long we were in, vs. how long we were out?

Sorry - that statement just really got me thinking - was wondering what others thought/think about it.

121

Are some of us still judgmental and think ourselves morally superior?

by nvrgnbk in

jw
friends

is a certain "uptightness" creeping into our community?.

should we be scolding one another?.

especially kids?

joannadandy

Honestly, what you judge (yes I chose that word deliberately) to be judgemental - I judge to be people being concerned for someone who is acting out in destructive ways to himself and others.

Frankly, I'd like to respectfully disagree with the sentiment, "Well we all make mistakes, and hey kids will be kids" attitude. Some mistakes are made as kids, but we're not talking about getting silly the first time we indulge in a little booze-arino. We're talking about diliberate drinking to get drunk and act out in socially unacceptable ways on purpose. To me, that's destructive and more than a few laughs and jokes.

In a community like this some of us have had to witness alcohol abuse, either within ourselves or in those we love.

In a community like this some of us have had to deal with suicide, either thoughts of our own, or friends and family taking their own lives.

In a community like this some of us have opinions on the best way one should exit the organization. Yee-ha do it with a bang, or silently slip into the background. That's a choice everyone makes for themselves and everyone will have an opinion on.

And the list goes on. It's still all about perspective. You see someone getting a little silly, and others see someone hurting. Who's judgement is the correct one?

Well we can debate that all day - and probably will - what with this being a message board and all...

42

HELP - my boyfriend's ex called and wants them to reconcile....what to do?

by Juniper in

i've been seeing an amazing man for a few months now.

i recently found out that before we met, my boyfriend had been thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend.

(who is going through a divorce of her own right now) they have a two year old son together.. he says that if his child weren't involved, he wouldn't even consider going back to her.

joannadandy

I have to say - Bisous gave some of the best advice so far.

I feel that if he makes a decision not to go, then he's learned from his past mistakes.
If he decides to go back to her, then to me that means he truly prefers living in chaos.
This decision is going to tell me a lot about the man he is, and the man he wants to be. I won't wait for him or take him back if he chooses her and it doesn't work out. He knows that.

Also the best thing you've said in this thread. There are some people in this world who can only function in chaos. In fact, when they get something stable and drama-free they will throw it away with both hands because it's not comfortable for them to be in a stable situation. Now, I don't know this man at all - he could need chaos, or he could need to feel like a hero - but honestly - if it's only been a few months - you perhaps don't know him that well either. This is a big test for your new relationship - and you are so right, his choice will tell you so much about him. If his ex - truely has changed she needs to spend a year on her own starting from when her divorce is final. She needs to get her own headspace right before she attempts a fresh start with him. As some others have said you don't need to be with someone in order to raise a child with them. Kids aren't dumb, and they know when the home situation is bad. I know it's a tough place to be in, but really there is no input you can give on this one other than your feelings about your relationship with him. Advice about his relationship with her is something he has to figure out for himself. Honestly, if you could influence him to do what you want and be with him - I doubt it would be very satisfying for you. You know what I mean? Like you said -- it's something you want him to choose on his own. Best of luck, it's a waiting game at this point -- try to keep yourself sane, and if it helps occupy yourself with other friends for the time being. A little distance during this time from him is not a bad idea so he can figure this all out himself.

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