Hello Inkie, thank you very much for taking the time to answer my questions and going into detail about your life's journey. Your story is quite convincing I must admit.
Not a problem at all. Happy to oblige you. And, yes, what I stated is the truth of my life.
It seems your ideas did not develop overnight because of some "emotion", but is based upon lots of research.
Yes, I researched a whole heck of a lot. At one time I had a vast library of the Society’s literature going back to the 1800s. I had just about every publication you can think of.
As you must have noticed in other treads, I indeed also see it is quite easy to refute many doctrines of the JW with their own NWT and publications.
Yes, like you, I’ve discovered that it really isn’t all that hard to do—if you’re a thinking person and will to do a bit of research.
Although waking up is a very liberating event, it is quite scary in the same time to discover my faith was mostly in a human organization and not in God,
Liberating, yes! But just prior to liberating was the cognitive dissonance that rattles the brain for a bit. Once you work through that there is “liberation.” And discovering that I put my “trust” (not my faith) in an earthly organization was sad. I can honestly say that I always had faith in God and Christ, but sad to say I also put my “trust” in earthling man. I am reminded of that biblical text which says: “Do not put your trust in nobles, nor in the son of earthling man,to whom no salvation belongs. . . .”? (Psalm 146:3) And how many times have we heard that verse inside the Kingdom Hall? How many times? And yet, we did it anyway, didn’t we. Even when we were told not to do such a thing. We did it anyway. Whom can we blame? How many times have we heard that? And yet I did that. Not ever again.
in fact, when it all became clear, very little faith in God is left, although some remained.
Sad to say, Hoffnung, this is what happens to so many many people. In all of my life’s journey I never lost faith in God or Christ—regardless of what happened in my life. I always knew they were there for me—always. I never doubted their existence or their love. It was earthling man who got in the way. It was earthling man who disappoints. I am genuinely glad that you have retained some faith. Hoffnung, trust that faith. Continue using what faith you do have and allow it to grow and ask for more faith from those who give it—God and Christ. I am a human creature, Hoffnung. Do not trust me—trust in God and in His Son. At some point I time, I will disappoint—God and Christ won’t.
It is not so nice to realize I have to start almost from scratch,
Don’t we all—really? Didn’t Paul have to start from scratch when he had is conversion experience on the way to Damascus? We all have to start from scratch, Hoffnung—everyone of us.
and hindered by some wrong conceived ideas that are still lingering in my head.
Again, don’t we all?
Can you elaborate a little bit on where Paul is contradicting Jesus in the bible?
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that Paul contradicts Jesus. More accurately, I meant if Paul (or anybody else for that matter) contradicted Jesus, whom would you choose to believe and trust?
And also I would like to know if some discussions on the other forum are still available for research.
I don’t know if they are. Perhaps someone else here on this board might let us know.
How was your anointing experience in February 2001? Can you try to describe that?
Yes, I will describe it for you. What I posted before can be found here:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/198473/1/For-those-who-were-partakers
I wrote the following (my brackets below are my current edits for more clarifation):
“ My spirit within me kept on telling that I should [partake]. My spirit within me kept telling me that I was a son of God. The various versions of the Bibles that I read said so and I believed it with my entire being for a very long time--years. Yet, the Society and the brothers kept telling me this was not so and it couldn’t be so, and so I better not partake. I was not worthy they told me. As I questioned the teachings of the Society more and more, I came to see that what they were teaching was not true, not truth. I was told on a few occasions that I should not speak about Jesus. Made me shake my head. I was told that what I was feeling couldn’t possibly be true as God was no longer calling the anointed class [the Society has since changed their teaching on this], that He had stopped doing that long ago. While I didn’t believe them, because of the verses I read in the Bible, I forced myself to acquiesce to their directives. Not easy. Funny, I became one of Jehovah’s Witnesses BECAUSE of the Society’s publication Life Everlasting in Freedom of the Sons of God. That little red book with the gold-edged pages spoke of the Sons of God throughout its pages and as I read that book, that book, the things written in it, [it] was speaking TO me. This was before I was baptized. But in voicing to the elders my belief and conviction that I was a son of God, the elders and regular brothers and sisters told me over and over that this was not the case. Now, mind you, I did not brazenly tout my belief to the brothers, it was only when the subject came up by them and when they directed their questions to me that I admitted the truth of my belief and convictions. I did not publicize it to brag in any sort of way. I just told the truth when I was asked about it.
They made me doubt my belief and conviction of what I was, who I was, for [many, many] years.
Finally, [I reached a point where] I no longer could deny it. The first time I partook was on Memorial night back in 1999; however, I did it in a cowardly way. I was afraid that I might be disfellowshipped for doing so. Two other brothers and I met in one of their private homes and we three partook there. It was good to partake. It felt totally right. The next year (2000) I partook in the middle of the congregation and it was SO right! I was no longer afraid of men or what they could or would do to me. They did nothing.
Please know that just because I partook did not mean that I didn’t question my belief or conviction because of them. I continued to question it because of the indoctrination of the brothers and the Society’s teachings [for all those years].
THEN . . .
One night in February 2001 (I can’t remember the exact date), I came home from work deeply deeply troubled and distraught. [Hoffnung, I guess my emotions at times were greatly involved.] I went upstairs to my bedroom. The family was downstairs in the den eating and watching television. I was alone. I threw myself upon the bed and began in earnest my prayer to Jah. It was a prayer, a long prayer, filled with deep emotion and sincerity, filled with weeping and petitions [that] I was making known to God. I don’t think that I’ve ever prayed like that, in this manner, to God before or since, and I have prayed earnestly many times. I begged Him to tell me whether I was a “son” or not. I told Jah that I needed to know this. If I wasn’t a son, fine. So be it. But I needed to know either way. The mental and emotional fight I was in, going back and forth, because of the Society’s teaching and because of the things I read in the Bible thoroughly confused me and did me emotional [and mental] turmoil. It wasn’t a short prayer by any means. It was like the Bible describes when it says with “strong outcries and tears,” this prayer that I was praying was like that.
Suddenly, at some point during the prayer, [I lifted myself up upon my elbows as I was previously lying prostrate upon the bed, lifted my head, continuing in prayer, and] as I looked about the room, the bedroom began to undulate; no, not really the room—but rather, the air in the room; no, rather, more accurately, the “space” within the room began to undulate and swirl about the room around me. I was totally awake and watching it happen before my very physical eyes. I lay their prone on top of the bed having raised myself up on my elbows watching what was occurring. The “undulating space” swirled all about me and then began to enter me and it permeated me—my entire body. I watched and felt this. And as it swirled about the room and entered me and exited me and entered me and exited me and I felt such an incredible [phenomenal] peace. I am not kidding. Such an incredible peace AND received the knowledge that—Yes! Indeed, I was a son of God! After a while, I do not remember how long this occurrence lasted but when it was finished, as I said, I felt such incredible PEACE. Unlike anything I have [ever] experienced before. And my spirit bore witness to me that I was indeed a son of God. I NOW KNEW THIS and no one can take it away from me ever. Not only that, but for an entire month from this event, wherever I went, whatever I did, whomever I was with, for an entire month that PEACE STAYED WITH ME. After a month, it dissipated slowly and left. But I knew what I needed to know and ever since I have never questioned my sonship again.
I have partaken ever since and will continue to do so until our Lord arrives. ”
Thank you for your time.
You’re very welcome.
Just one other bit I did appreciate, I think it is in another thread, it is where you show that by the use and glorification of the name Jesus, Jehovah is glorified as well, as Jesus means 'Jehovah is salvation' (which is better in hebrew of course) and this explains why the name Jehovah or the tetragrammaton is completely absent in the Ancient Greek Manuscripts, and there is no reason to use that name any more as an identifying mark. Proving the Witnesses to be wrong once more.
What you state here is true. But, just know, that God’s name is not Jehovah. It is Jah. The NWT even so states. The name of his son is Jaheshua. These are Hebrew names.
Hoffnung, I hope that I have answered your questions to your satisfaction.
--Inkie