"Honor your father and mother" (Matt 19:19)
Luke thinks that Jesus requires his followers to hate their parents, "Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother...cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14.26)
And Matthew thinks that when a disciple begged for permission to bury his father, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father," Jesus told him to let him rot: "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." (Matthew 8:21-22) Is this the same Matthew who told us that Jesus told his disciples to love their parents?
In regards to the story in Luke, Kenneson writes,
this is a parable meant to teach the demands of discipleship... You can't be half-hearted toward Jesus.By “parable,” you mean that Jesus did not mean for his disciples literally to hate their parents? If that’s the case, then don’t you think that Jesus, who allegedly was the son of the infinitely wise and all-knowing God, would have known that his words would be misinterpreted, if indeed Luke was quoting Jesus accurately? Why couldn’t Jesus just have said, “I expect you to put the needs of God before those of your parents”? That would have been possible without literally hating their parents, right?
And, why couldn’t the disciple run off and bury his father? He could have done that, and still given this heart fully to Jesus, couldn’t he? If you claim that this, too, is parabolic speech, not to be taken literally, then was the man actually allowed to go bury his father, or not? If so, why didn’t Matthew tell us that?
The absence of the clarifying information suggests strongly that Matthew wasn’t guided by God in writing this tale, because if he had been inspired, God would have known that we would think that Jesus really didn’t let the poor man bury his father, so God would have made sure that Matthew explained that wasn’t the case at all. The same is true for the Luke's tale; if it were inspired by God, God would have made sure that the readers understood that disciples were not expected literally to hate their parents. The absence of this clarification suggests that Luke, too, was not guided by God when he wrote his gospel, and thus may have been mistaken.
Which seems more reasonable: Luke and Matthew were mistaken about what Jesus said, or that Jesus really did say those words, but they were not meant to be taken literally?
Joseph F. Alward
"Skeptical Views of Christianity and the Bible"