Welcome Surfacing
and Nadsam and other ones I haven't welcomed before.
Leaving a high control group, one has to go through the stages of grief.
Denial (shock of what you are learning and it can't be true)
Anger (so its ok to be angry, you have every right to be. But if you feel you can't deal with your anger properly, seek professional help)
Bargaining (if I do such and such, maybe it will be ok, maybe I don't have to face the consequences of what I've learned, etc)
Depression (allow yourself time to grieve, to assess what you have done in the past and where you are going in the future)
Acceptance (finaly getting on with your life)
If you get stuck in one phase too long or you keep going through a cycle of only two or three phases, you need to look into professional help. Learn to trust yourself and step back and evaluate yourself, then you'll know if you are stuck or cycling.
At this discussion board you will read of many experiences that maybe similar to your own. Most people learn alot from reading other's expereinces. It is also a good place to vent. No one understands the mindset of JWs like xJWs that had to go through the grieving process and deprogramming process.
Again, welcome.
Joy