Posts by gutted

18

Emotional pain

by gutted in

hey gang,.

just wanted to share the last few days have been very painful.

seems like my one friend who i shared my doubts with is distancing himself.

gutted

Thanks so much guys, your kind words really mean a lot to me.

Just had a guilt trip laid on by my family... mom said "just go to the meeting on Sunday, for me"... I really did think about going back... but I know I can't now.

Thanks again

18

Emotional pain

by gutted in

hey gang,.

just wanted to share the last few days have been very painful.

seems like my one friend who i shared my doubts with is distancing himself.

Just wanted to share the last few days have been very painful. Seems like my one friend who I shared my doubts with is distancing himself. Mom is urging me to go back. Still haven't returned that elders call. Getting nightmares being in the kingdom hall.

I'm guessing this is normal when first fading or am I being a bit too dramatic? I feel like some of the emotional issues I've been dealing with even before knowing the real truth and starting to fade are coming back up. I think mainly it is fear, fear of being shunned, fear other people... I thought I had some phobic issues but perhaps these were just things I was taught as a witness from growing up.

36

"Where else would we go?" - A common JW cliche'.

by Crisis of Conscience in

how many times have you heard that before, whether in or out?

in the past, i truly believed that.

if i were to leave the "truth", where else would i go?.

gutted

Thanks soldier, I won't go back, no way in hell. It's true what people have said though, I'm finding it a rollercoaster emotionally.

Good luck with your situation! My advice is to stay positive and ask them questions, put it on them not on you. I know it's hard to do, I kind of went too far with my mom and spilt the whole beans because she was receptive at the time, but that changed.

36

"Where else would we go?" - A common JW cliche'.

by Crisis of Conscience in

how many times have you heard that before, whether in or out?

in the past, i truly believed that.

if i were to leave the "truth", where else would i go?.

gutted

Thank you for posting this topic CoC, I really needed your guys comments on this.

I've had consecutive dreams the last few nights of returning to the hall. Last night I was at the hall, I had shaved off my goatee and I said yes to an elder I was closest to to go out in service Sunday even though I didn't want to, but felt guilt... Then this morning I was actually entertaining thoughts of going back, the dream was so real I was thinking "is it really that bad", "where else can I go". I'm sure this was also fueled by my moms comments of the same nature when we had a heated debate, "where else would will you go, to the horrible world?", "you are only listening to other peoples opinions on the internet" "I'm so disappointed" etc.

What a mindfuck.

48

Restrictions on sanitation supplies at a$$emblies

by WTWizard in

now that the grand boasting sessions are well under way, now is a good time to discuss what they are restricting on supplies there.

the "one towel" rule is quite famous by now.

however, i have heard scattered reports that they are rationing things like toilet paper as well.

gutted

For a little balance, they can't ration toilet paper or soap. The only thing they can do is, like with the paper towels, make announcements to limit its use. It did feel condescending to hear reminders about the convention like the paper towel one though, or trying to limit distractions by not going for "walks" or to the restroom too much. It would be funny to hear the same thing about toilet paper! I guess it comes down to how "good/obedient" of a witness you are. My last DC, I used it freely. And I pooped a lot too

30

I have a date!

by Soldier77 in

...and she isn't a witness!!

woohooo!.

the story:.

gutted

Good to hear soldier, have fun!

Too bad our situations aren't even closer then already, I could use a date .

16

Are Dubs just getting lazy?

by pr0ner in

twice this month i've seen dubs out.

both times they just totally avoided me.

yesterday i went to subway and they were sitting on down outside of subway with their rags.

gutted

Totally. I for one tried to do as little as possible towards the tail-end of my ministry last month. In US/Canada there is so much "apathy" that it really does seem pointless, so I think people just try to coast and get some hours, a few mags and RVs here and there.

Definitely a "keeping up appearances" approach IMO.

2

True Christianity - driven by organization?

by gutted in

i've been reading in search of christian freedom chapter 3 and i'm quite fascinated at ray's take on how the congregation was actually set up in the 1st century.

i never knew that a "governing body" only convened one time in jerusalem to discuss the circumcision issue, and was not mentioned prior or after this.

also paul went many years without heading to jerusalem for "instruction" but had the antioch congregation as his home-base.

gutted

Hi all,

I've been reading In Search of Christian Freedom Chapter 3 and I'm quite fascinated at Ray's take on how the congregation was actually set up in the 1st century. I never knew that a "governing body" only convened one time in Jerusalem to discuss the circumcision issue, and was not mentioned prior or after this. Also Paul went many years without heading to Jerusalem for "instruction" but had the Antioch congregation as his home-base.

Also the idea in the 1st century it was more a brotherhood than a hierarchical religious organization, and that elders and shepherds had less power organizationally but where there more to serve.

Obviously I was never taught or exposed to these ideas as a JW.

In your mind, do these facts (argue them if you don't believe) support the stance that "true Christianity" is a heart condition, a direct relationship with God and Jesus, and that no man should interfere or mediate this relationship?

Do some of you label yourselves as such, a Christian without a religious organization?

9

Overpowering feeling to know all the answers

by gutted in

right now i am feeling this immense weight that i need to be able to refute every single wbts doctrine/belief/organizational procedure etc.

i feel i need to know this not for myself, i already know the org is bullshit, but to see how i can help others or if i'm questioned by family/friends.

i'm in the process of reading in search of christian freedom and it's good to see the difference between the first century "organizational structure" and how it is today in the org.. perhaps as stated by other posters i am still in the mindset that i need to "convert" people to my new way of thinking.. have you guys felt like this, or still feel like this now?.

gutted

Soldier I was actually thinking the same thing when I see your posts, seems like we are at similar points in leaving.

As far as telling other people so far I've told my non-JW family (2 cousins and my sister), and they have been supportive.

I've told two people "in", my mom and another friend. Surprisingly my mom agreed to a lot of points at first but now she goes semi-JW-balistic when I bring it up, she is very disappointed. I think I definitely did push it a bit far with her. My one friend, the only JW friend I want to keep anyway, I was also suprised to know how many doubts he actually had. He was the one that brought up 1975 and other issues. I basically told him all my problems with it. I think with him there is real hope in "getting him out", his main gripe now is "there was organization in the 1st century, so there must be now" and I am researching that.

I feel for you, I know there is some family I just cannot tell, they will probably find out eventually that I am fading and make up their own mind if they want to have contact.

9

Overpowering feeling to know all the answers

by gutted in

right now i am feeling this immense weight that i need to be able to refute every single wbts doctrine/belief/organizational procedure etc.

i feel i need to know this not for myself, i already know the org is bullshit, but to see how i can help others or if i'm questioned by family/friends.

i'm in the process of reading in search of christian freedom and it's good to see the difference between the first century "organizational structure" and how it is today in the org.. perhaps as stated by other posters i am still in the mindset that i need to "convert" people to my new way of thinking.. have you guys felt like this, or still feel like this now?.

gutted

Hi all,

Right now I am feeling this immense weight that I need to be able to refute every single WBTS doctrine/belief/organizational procedure etc. I feel I need to know this not for myself, I already know the org is bullshit, but to see how I can help others or if I'm questioned by family/friends. I'm in the process of reading In Search of Christian Freedom and it's good to see the difference between the first century "organizational structure" and how it is today in the org.

Perhaps as stated by other posters I am still in the mindset that I need to "convert" people to my new way of thinking.

Have you guys felt like this, or still feel like this now?