Posts by gutted

21

Looking back I Missed out on a lot

by lil.lady.03 in

so i'm thinking back to all the things i ever wanted to do when i was little.

and could not do because, anything i wanted to do was bad association or just bad.. when i was 4, i wanted to do gymnastics.. "no.

you get pulled into nationalism and develop a competive spirit.".

gutted

lil.lady I can sympathize. I was a shy, withdrawn boy who was very anxious and confliced at school as well. I was never really ambitious as far as extra activities, I just wanted to hang out and fit in but felt like such an outsider.

As far as "missing out" I hear ya. I'm 26 and my main gripe is that I've never really had a gf, though I don't blame that exclusively on being a JW (I'm shy etc), I never felt "ready" by the socities standards and so didn't pursue dating for a long time. I hope to change that. Also I wish I went for a 4 year degree instead of a 2 year diploma, but at least I have some education past HS.

Do your courses! I joined a rec sports league, and it's downright hilarious how the society paints these kinds of activities, when in reality it was a bunch of down to earth people playing a sport.

I have to say though, whether we missed out or not, we're here now and we can take charge and do what we want :)

27

Reverse Shunning

by gutted in

i have a confession.

i am using reverse shunning.. i have ignored the elders calls.

i do not want to hang out with witnesses anymore (besides my family and one friend).

gutted

Thanks soldier, there are crappy days but all in all it's going well. The goatee is working its magic, lol.

Undercover, perhaps wording it as "shunning" is not the best, but to me it's tounge-in-cheek with their horrible policy. I agree with your viewpoint, I mean I hung out with some witnesses just yesterday and had a couple beers (mostly cause my best friend was there), but people who now all of a sudden have called me from out of nowhere get the cold shoulder etc.

Some of this rings a bell. . .

http://www.wikihow.com/End-a-Controlling-or-Manipulative-Relationship

LWT, so true.

27

Reverse Shunning

by gutted in

i have a confession.

i am using reverse shunning.. i have ignored the elders calls.

i do not want to hang out with witnesses anymore (besides my family and one friend).

gutted

I think the main reason I do it is I do not want to hear all the robotic "encouraging comments" to come back. I would love to say "take your guilt trip elsewhere"... hmm

27

Reverse Shunning

by gutted in

i have a confession.

i am using reverse shunning.. i have ignored the elders calls.

i do not want to hang out with witnesses anymore (besides my family and one friend).

gutted

I have a confession. I am using reverse shunning.

I have ignored the elders calls. I do not want to hang out with witnesses anymore (besides my family and one friend). I have also ignored calls from regular witnesses who want to go for "lunch" or "call me, it's important" when they have never called me before.

Anyone else?

45

if you only knew (1st Post here)

by lil.lady.03 in

i've been in pain too long.

i have this whole entry i want to post but i don't know if it is too long to read.

i'll post it in parts.

gutted

Welcome lil.lady! This forum is great, and I'm sure it will help you as it has helped me greatly.

In regards to your family's situation it is sometimes suprising to know that many witness families have a lot of issues, don't believe just the exterior you see at the hall.

This forum was the first place where I told anyone about my issues with being a witness. I've consumed a lot of information. I would recommend www.jwfacts.com, and several books (Crisis of Conscience, Combatting Cult Mind Control, Captives of a Concept) which have helped me tremendously.

Give yourself lots of time, don't jump into anything too hastily and realize that by beginning this journey you will come out better in the end.

That has been the case for me, I've never felt happier or more free.

5

cliques - a common theme

by rockmehardplace in

jw
friends

i am sure it has been touched on many times before, but as i read trying to catch up on some of the topics over the past few months, i see the word clique jump out on so many occassions.

why were there so many cliques?

in the congregration i was in, we had a serious problem with it.

gutted

I second CuriousButterfly, it's just human nature when there are large groups of people they will form cliques/peer groups. I think perhaps it's more noticeable with JWs because they talk about NOT doing it as it doesn't show "love", when it's blatant in every congregation.

22

Is "The Truth" Killing You, Lurkers?

by metatron in

jw
friends

as an elder of many years, i was continually struck with the abundance of chronically ill witnesses whose disease appeared to be related to their own stress at trying to meet the endless demands of the "truth".

i am not a medical professional but i don't need to be a doctor to know that the depression and virtual self loathing ('i'm not good enough, i must do more, i'm a bad parent....") sets a stage for ill health.. and now science backs up that conclusion:.

http://www.amazon.com/when-body-says-understanding-stress-disease/dp/0471219827.

gutted

Well I can relate to this.

I would read self-help books about anxiety and depression as a witness, and even though I think some of that is genetic in my case, the things those books tought are not in accordance with the WBTS thinking. I do think WBTS have defintely lightened things up, but the ideas of worthlessness/not doing enough are still very much predominant.

So I wouldn't say it causes those conditions but aggravates them.

46

Do you smoke anything?

by asilentone in

i was very disappointed in one of my friends near here.

he is df'd.

he started smoking cigs.

gutted

Nope, but I have had a few puffs, and a full cig or two when I was out drinking. I find the two go hand in hand. But one day when I had a craving I bought a pack, had a few drags and it tasted like crap and stung my lungs. No more! Going to live healthy regardless of being a JW or not.

65

Jesus warned us about JWs!

by 3Mozzies in

luke 21:8. .

american standard version (asv).

he said, watch out that you dont get led astray, for many will come in my name, saying, i am he , and, the time is at hand.

gutted

Very poignant.

Makes me totally think of Deut 18:22 - When the prophet speaks in the name of Jehovah and the word does not occur or come true, that is the word that Jehovah did not speak. With presumptuousness the prophet spoke it. You must not get frightened at him.’

28

Find refreshment in spiritual things - this weeks tower.

by Cook My Socks UK in

i just thought that i would share an observation regarding par 3 of this weeks wt study.

the paragraph says in part " jehovah's witnesses find genuine refreshment through up building christian fellowship".. .

i am wondering if any readers / posters on this forum that still do or used to attend meetings have any thoughts on this.

gutted

I did feel upbeat after certain meetings, but that was just the social aspect of talking with my "friends".

Also after conventions I would remark "that's what I needed" because it would reinvigorate you to do the things that would presumably save your life.

The last few months before I even knew that the WT is BS I HATED the meetings, the superficial scripted comments, the repressed atmosphere, and especially giving talks.

It's been about a month and a half since I've been to a meeting and it feels FUCKING AWESOME and I'm never going back.

I am now TRULY refreshed!

This thread has made my day.