i realized about a year ago after much lurking here, that the truth was in fact a lie.
it rocked me to my core to come to the understanding that everything that i have been taught, believed in and taught people myself was in fact not true.
when you are a born in like myself, the teachings of the wts become all you know.
I came to this forum! Expressing myself really helped. Then further reading on the internet and books removed the viel.
I started hanging out with "wordly" people, went to clubs, joined a sports team. Basically I saw it was NORMAL stuff, there was absolutely nothing wrong with it as the society harps on and on about.
I still don't know exactly what direction my life will take but I feel more free and happier then ever before. Some days I am depressed, but hey, that's life. Gotta be realistic.
so i'm thinking back to all the things i ever wanted to do when i was little.
and could not do because, anything i wanted to do was bad association or just bad.. when i was 4, i wanted to do gymnastics.. "no.
you get pulled into nationalism and develop a competive spirit.".
lil.lady I can sympathize. I was a shy, withdrawn boy who was very anxious and confliced at school as well. I was never really ambitious as far as extra activities, I just wanted to hang out and fit in but felt like such an outsider.
As far as "missing out" I hear ya. I'm 26 and my main gripe is that I've never really had a gf, though I don't blame that exclusively on being a JW (I'm shy etc), I never felt "ready" by the socities standards and so didn't pursue dating for a long time. I hope to change that. Also I wish I went for a 4 year degree instead of a 2 year diploma, but at least I have some education past HS.
Do your courses! I joined a rec sports league, and it's downright hilarious how the society paints these kinds of activities, when in reality it was a bunch of down to earth people playing a sport.
I have to say though, whether we missed out or not, we're here now and we can take charge and do what we want :)
i have a confession.
i am using reverse shunning.. i have ignored the elders calls.
i do not want to hang out with witnesses anymore (besides my family and one friend).
Thanks soldier, there are crappy days but all in all it's going well. The goatee is working its magic, lol.
Undercover, perhaps wording it as "shunning" is not the best, but to me it's tounge-in-cheek with their horrible policy. I agree with your viewpoint, I mean I hung out with some witnesses just yesterday and had a couple beers (mostly cause my best friend was there), but people who now all of a sudden have called me from out of nowhere get the cold shoulder etc.
Some of this rings a bell. . .
http://www.wikihow.com/End-a-Controlling-or-Manipulative-Relationship
LWT, so true.
i have a confession.
i am using reverse shunning.. i have ignored the elders calls.
i do not want to hang out with witnesses anymore (besides my family and one friend).
I think the main reason I do it is I do not want to hear all the robotic "encouraging comments" to come back. I would love to say "take your guilt trip elsewhere"... hmm
i have a confession.
i am using reverse shunning.. i have ignored the elders calls.
i do not want to hang out with witnesses anymore (besides my family and one friend).
I have a confession. I am using reverse shunning.
I have ignored the elders calls. I do not want to hang out with witnesses anymore (besides my family and one friend). I have also ignored calls from regular witnesses who want to go for "lunch" or "call me, it's important" when they have never called me before.
Anyone else?
i've been in pain too long.
i have this whole entry i want to post but i don't know if it is too long to read.
i'll post it in parts.
Welcome lil.lady! This forum is great, and I'm sure it will help you as it has helped me greatly.
In regards to your family's situation it is sometimes suprising to know that many witness families have a lot of issues, don't believe just the exterior you see at the hall.
This forum was the first place where I told anyone about my issues with being a witness. I've consumed a lot of information. I would recommend www.jwfacts.com, and several books (Crisis of Conscience, Combatting Cult Mind Control, Captives of a Concept) which have helped me tremendously.
Give yourself lots of time, don't jump into anything too hastily and realize that by beginning this journey you will come out better in the end.
That has been the case for me, I've never felt happier or more free.
i am sure it has been touched on many times before, but as i read trying to catch up on some of the topics over the past few months, i see the word clique jump out on so many occassions.
why were there so many cliques?
in the congregration i was in, we had a serious problem with it.
I second CuriousButterfly, it's just human nature when there are large groups of people they will form cliques/peer groups. I think perhaps it's more noticeable with JWs because they talk about NOT doing it as it doesn't show "love", when it's blatant in every congregation.
as an elder of many years, i was continually struck with the abundance of chronically ill witnesses whose disease appeared to be related to their own stress at trying to meet the endless demands of the "truth".
i am not a medical professional but i don't need to be a doctor to know that the depression and virtual self loathing ('i'm not good enough, i must do more, i'm a bad parent....") sets a stage for ill health.. and now science backs up that conclusion:.
http://www.amazon.com/when-body-says-understanding-stress-disease/dp/0471219827.
Well I can relate to this.
I would read self-help books about anxiety and depression as a witness, and even though I think some of that is genetic in my case, the things those books tought are not in accordance with the WBTS thinking. I do think WBTS have defintely lightened things up, but the ideas of worthlessness/not doing enough are still very much predominant.
So I wouldn't say it causes those conditions but aggravates them.
i was very disappointed in one of my friends near here.
he is df'd.
he started smoking cigs.
Nope, but I have had a few puffs, and a full cig or two when I was out drinking. I find the two go hand in hand. But one day when I had a craving I bought a pack, had a few drags and it tasted like crap and stung my lungs. No more! Going to live healthy regardless of being a JW or not.
luke 21:8. .
american standard version (asv).
he said, watch out that you dont get led astray, for many will come in my name, saying, i am he , and, the time is at hand.
Very poignant.
Makes me totally think of Deut 18:22 - When the prophet speaks in the name of Jehovah and the word does not occur or come true, that is the word that Jehovah did not speak. With presumptuousness the prophet spoke it. You must not get frightened at him.’
