Posts by lostinnj83

125

my worst fears were realized

by magotan in

im on my phone, so im really limited.

i came out to my family about my doubts and my sexuality.

shit hit the fan.

I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE

by iclone in

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lostinnj83

I too was at that same meeting and felt sick to my stomach.

People were"boasting" about how how they turned down opportunities to take potential clients out to dinner and that while it may mean losing money, they were avoiding bad association.

11

Double Standard re: Baptism

by lostinnj83 in

i was speaking to my mother earlier this week, and she was mentioning about someone in her hall that was in the hospital.

this person was never mentally "present" even prior to getting baptized.

my mom said out of the blue "why would they allow someone who is mentally incoherent to make such a serious commitment as baptism?".

lostinnj83

I was speaking to my mother earlier this week, and she was mentioning about someone in her hall that was in the hospital. This person was never mentally "present" even prior to getting baptized. My mom said out of the blue "why would they allow someone who is mentally incoherent to make such a serious commitment as baptism?"

What gets me is how she could ask that question when she allowed me to get baptism well under the age of 13!!! I wanted to respond so badly and say well its for the same reason that they allow children who are not of legal age to get baptized but I held my tongue!

It's really unbelieveable how she can see one thing as being wrong but not the other!

11

DYING TO PIONEER!

by The Searcher in

i was talking with an elderly sister today, and she brought up the topic of pioneering in march & april.

she then mentioned the elderly brother who has an extremely serious condition who was used to explain to the congregation, how he would adjust to be able to get the pioneer hours in.

it became 100% clear to the sister (and probably others) that this brother could die by pushing himself so hard.. loving shepherds, prove it - don't sanction such ones to enrol for such a life-threatening exercise.

lostinnj83

A similar expereince was given in my hall. An elderly sister was speaking of the health limitations she has but how much she is looking forward to putting forth the effort. It really is sickening that even after many years of "faithful" service more is being demanded from people, literally until they take their last breath!! SMH!!

17

Lost best friend...

by lostinnj83 in

so i am not even out yet and i feel as though i have already lost my best friend.. i asked her if i could use her as a reference on an apartment rental if i decide to go the route of separation from my husband.

she knows all of what i went through in my marriage and how much pain and suffering that i have endured.. at first she said yes, no problem, then she asked if i would be speaking to the elders about it, and i said no, she asked why not, i said that is my choice to do or not do.. her response was that i pray and speak to the elders and that she thinks it best that i don't use her as a reference because she would feel that she was supporting my decision to separate.

i said fine but i also said that her response seems to be more of a concern about me speaking to the elders rather than being concerned for my well being.

lostinnj83

Apognophos- I am a born in too, but I have always had worldly friends, always made friends in the workplace, school etc, not even in preparation for leaving but I am a people person so I never followed the "admonition" to stay away from worldly people.

As for you, its not too late to start making friends, and once you get to know people and you tell them your story you will find such love and support!!

9

Where is this LOVE that is being "preached about"??

by lostinnj83 in

the only display of love that i have experienced is from non-jw's!!!!!

the people we have been warned so much to stay away from them are the only ones that have been supportive and loving towards me in my darkest moments.. .

what really gets me is how they can bring themselves to show "love" to someone who has committed heinous crimes like molesting children but will be downright hateful to people who have become better and happier people since they have left the organization!!!.

lostinnj83

The ONLY display of love that I have experienced is from non-JW's!!!!! The people we have been warned so much to stay away from them are the ONLY ones that have been supportive and LOVING towards me in my darkest moments.

What really gets me is how they can bring themselves to show "love" to someone who has committed heinous crimes like molesting children but will be downright HATEFUL to people who have become BETTER and happier people since they have left the organization!!!

It's really getting very hard for me to continue to "fake it". I really don't know much longer I can continue to associate myself with this HATEFUL group!

79

Complaints About My False Eyelashes at the Hall. WEARING THEM EVEN BIGGER TONIGHT.

by OneStepOut93 in

okay so i like dramatic lashes.

and my grandma told me all the women are complaining about them being a distraction.

well all i have to say to them is "kiss my ass".

lostinnj83

I'm sure they love the 5 inch heels I wear to the meetings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

17

Lost best friend...

by lostinnj83 in

so i am not even out yet and i feel as though i have already lost my best friend.. i asked her if i could use her as a reference on an apartment rental if i decide to go the route of separation from my husband.

she knows all of what i went through in my marriage and how much pain and suffering that i have endured.. at first she said yes, no problem, then she asked if i would be speaking to the elders about it, and i said no, she asked why not, i said that is my choice to do or not do.. her response was that i pray and speak to the elders and that she thinks it best that i don't use her as a reference because she would feel that she was supporting my decision to separate.

i said fine but i also said that her response seems to be more of a concern about me speaking to the elders rather than being concerned for my well being.

lostinnj83

What's crazy is that she isn't even in the same congregation as me, so how would it get back that she was a reference? And am not sure what "violation" she would be commiting by saying that I would be a responsible tenant.

Fortunatly I have REAL friends outside of the "org" all of who said they would vouch for me. What do people do who have NO friends on the outside??

So if we are to correctly understand that LOVE is the identifying mark of true Christians, then the LACK of love in this organization is proof that they are not "TRUE CHRISTIANS" it is really unbelievable!!!!!

@FoundSheep- your story sounds a lot like mine!

Thank you all for your words of comfort.

17

Lost best friend...

by lostinnj83 in

so i am not even out yet and i feel as though i have already lost my best friend.. i asked her if i could use her as a reference on an apartment rental if i decide to go the route of separation from my husband.

she knows all of what i went through in my marriage and how much pain and suffering that i have endured.. at first she said yes, no problem, then she asked if i would be speaking to the elders about it, and i said no, she asked why not, i said that is my choice to do or not do.. her response was that i pray and speak to the elders and that she thinks it best that i don't use her as a reference because she would feel that she was supporting my decision to separate.

i said fine but i also said that her response seems to be more of a concern about me speaking to the elders rather than being concerned for my well being.

lostinnj83

So I am not even out yet and I feel as though I have already lost my best friend.

I asked her if I could use her as a reference on an apartment rental if I decide to go the route of separation from my husband. She knows all of what I went through in my marriage and how much pain and suffering that I have endured.

At first she said yes, no problem, then she asked if I would be speaking to the elders about it, and I said no, she asked why not, I said that is my choice to do or not do.

Her response was that I pray and speak to the elders and that she thinks it best that I don't use her as a reference because she would feel that she was supporting my decision to separate. I said fine but I also said that her response seems to be more of a concern about me speaking to the elders rather than being concerned for my well being. She said that she only mentioned it because she doesn't want me to do anything to damage my spirituality and that our relationship with Jehovah is the most important thing but that she is not judging me.

It is absolutely a judgment, I can't see how someone that I have known for almost 20 years and viewed as a sister would tell me she wouldn't be a reference for me. And this is not someone who was a hard core JW. She has had her own issues with "the truth" and left for years and out of guilt and shame came back, so now she feels she has the authority to tell me what I should be doing with my life?? AND I haven't spoken to her about my "awakening"/doubts etc.

As far as I am concerned though our friendship is over, if thats the "righteous stand" she feels like she needed to take then our friendship can only go downhill at this point. It's hard for me to see how they can't see that the friendships that they offer are 100% conditional!!!

It saddens me so much to see someone who I thought had my back through thick and thin turn their back on me.

I am very disturbed.

26

Anyone still "in" that is feeling physically sick??

by lostinnj83 in

i really think that staying "in" just for family and friends is doing a number on my health.

i am currently in therapy for the mental part of all of this but i am phsyically sick every time i have to get ready to go to the meeting or service.

i get heart palpitations as well.

lostinnj83

Thank you everyone for the support!

And to the person that posted that I have social anxiety disorder that is NOT the case at all!!! The only anxiety I feel is anything "JW related".

As far as the anti-depressants, everyone here is right! I should not have to be medicated just to survive this life when I know the cause of my anxiety and depression. If I can eliminate that I highly doubt that I would be as depressed.

My therapist only recommonded the possiblity of anti-depressants temporarily until I figure out what I want to do regarding the religion.