Hi, MGG, welcome to the real world and JWN! I know this is an extremely confusing time in your life but know that you are not alone and you are taking a massive step towards a free mind. Anyone who wants to control your thinking is not your friend. Please remember that. Reasoning and persuasion are necessary in life but it should be a HUGE red flag if anyone discourages doubt, questioning their authority, or independent/critical thinking.
i've noticed that alot of the comments have nothing to do with God.....Have u become bitter?
My wife and I have been out for a year and a half. I have had many moments of bitterness toward circumstances and "the system", but those moments become fewer and shorter in duration as time goes by. At the beginning, I was very upset with the unfairness of it all though.
do u all still believe in God?
I don't like to use the term God, because so many people/books would describe god in different terms and most - if not all - are self-refuting or just ridiculous. So I tend to think of the question as, "Do you accept any particular description of god as accurate?"
No, I've chosen to reserve belief for empirical evidence. And I have some little pet theories but I choose not to put faith in anything, even my own ideas regarding the mysteries of life/existence. I live by the aphorism "extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."
How do u worship Him if at all?
To me, the idea of an omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent being that needs our worship (and demands it!)... is self-refuting and contradictory. By definition, something that is perfect needs nothing to be complete. Really, what kind of loving father demands his children worship him? Weird.
"The most preposterous notion that Homosapiens have ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history." -Robert Heinlein
That makes sense to me. I believe man created [descriptions of] God in his image, with all the immature flaws and selfish tendencies that men tend to have.
Do u feel at peace with God?
If there's an intelligence out there responsible for sparking life or consciousness, it isn't described properly in the Bible. I'm at peace with nature, I suppose, so long as nature doesn't try to maul me.
Are u happy?
I would say we are content and happy with our lot and direction in life. But the loss of JW family and friend relationships still hurts. That said, I agree with Seneca: "The secret to happiness is freedom. The secret to freedom is courage." Living based on something you know is a lie is not freedom.
Do u have any doubt that u made the right decision?
I'm sure I could've handled specific situations better but my wife and I have no doubt that getting out was the right thing to do for our own benefit as well as that of our children. It may take you a while to deprogram, though.
What we think & believe are in large part due to our upbringing, our conditioning. Most of us are taught at a young, naive age... not how to think but what to think. One of the best things you can do for yourself at this point is to study critical thinking skills, something that was mostly foreign to me before I got out. Here's a great site on the subject.
Best wishes on your journey! Just know that it gets better.