You're an intelligent, thinking human, Grandma. You want to learn about the other side after having only been fed JW propaganda for so long.
Seems a good many of us do the obessive reading and research for a while about anything JW-related. I got past that and eventually migrated to Christianity & the Bible in general.
Since being DF'd, I've mellowed out quite a bit I think. I still find myself preoccupied with exJW/exChristian issues. Someday I hope to visit and post here far less... and lead a life that is less anti and more pro. Until then, it's part of the recovery process, I believe.