Posts by nextdoorgirl

82

Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl in

so, here's your typical "i'm concerned about you" letter.

and my responses.

wanna take a look?.

nextdoorgirl

Hmm...I'll have to look into that. You are telling me about stuff I have never heard of. Thanks for the unexpected treasure!!

82

Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl in

so, here's your typical "i'm concerned about you" letter.

and my responses.

wanna take a look?.

Where did you get this crazy idea I lost my faith in the bible and that i stopped loving God? Just because you are afraid that you cannot love people like that for fear of losing your own love for God, does not make it so in my case.

And, by the way, that is erroneous thinking. Even if it were true that I stopped loving God and the bible, how would being loving to me cause you to lose your love for God and the bible? I mean, is it really that fragile? I would be afraid, if that were the case.

Your love for God and the bible is so fragile you cannot be loving to others who do not think identically to you.

Not saying that's true, but if it were....how would you accomplish your ministry? You have to show love to nonbelievers in order to attract them to God.

A lot of what I say to you is a mirror of the things you are saying to me, I am restating what I hear you saying. I want to make sure I understood your meaning correctly, and for you to correct me, if I got it wrong. Nowhere in this document did I say or imply that I do not love God nor the bible. Just to be clear. As I noticed you are no longer responding to me." THE END

82

Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl in

so, here's your typical "i'm concerned about you" letter.

and my responses.

wanna take a look?.

nextdoorgirl

Those are good ideas, Ynot! Thanks!!

I continued:

Jesus is pretty harsh with people not showing love. I am less harsh, for it is not for me to judge.
"Stop judging that YOU may not be judged" (Matthew 7:1).

I want to associate with his true followers, those actually showing unconditional love. There is a lot of talk about imperfection as an excuse for not showing love, and forgiveness, for this lack of love, but little ownership about needing to actually SHOW the love.

I put little value in claims; empty claims are like a clashing cymbal. There is no need for all this talk, if there were actions. Jesus said you would know his followers by their love (john 13: 34, 35)--you can tell a tree by its fruit, not by its claims.

"By their fruits YOU will recognize them. Never do people gather grapes from thorns or figs from thistles, do they? 17 Likewise every good tree produces fine fruit, but every rotten tree produces worthless fruit; 18 a good tree cannot bear worthless fruit, neither can a rotten tree produce fine fruit. 19 Every tree not producing fine fruit gets cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Really, then, by their fruits YOU will recognize those [men]." Matthew 7:15-20) You are telling me to forgive and let go of them. That is not an issue. The issue here is violence and neglect. I can forgive that, but I can't call it love. I find it interesting that you are excusing their lack of love while telling me to be more loving: forgiving. I feel confident in my standing before my judge, Jesus. He'll decide if I am being loving enough. No worries about that. I would worry about those acting violently and neglecting me. He warned about that. It won't go over well with them. There will be justice. Until then, I wait for the love. Your lack of unconditional love is only further confirmation that I need to seek elsewhere for Jesus true followers. But, I haven't left Jesus. Never have. For, to whom else would I go? Only he has sayings of everlasting life.

65He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him.”

66From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

67“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.

68Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” (john 6:65-68 Do you understand what I mean? I can leave individuals who aren't showing love, and who are violent or neglectful of me, and still remain with Jesus. Jesus is not individuals, he is not a group of people. Jesus is in heaven, so I can have a direct link to him wherever I go. People can come in and out of my life, as I search for others who also love unconditionally, but I never leave Jesus. Get it?

I am sad you both judge and love conditionally. These are both non-Christian attitudes and non-loving. They are also unattractive qualities. It was Jesus unconditional love that drew others near to him.

I know you have it in you to love unconditionally. We have to learn conditional love, as we grow, and that is why Jesus came to help us re-learn how to love unconditionally again.

We all have it as babies.

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3)

Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Though you emphasize forgiveness as the most important facet of love today, Jesus didn't. In fact his examples of love that gained eternal life were very physically nurturing, such as in the Good Samaritan story (Luke 10: 25-37), or in the dividing of the sheep and the goats (Matthew 25:34-47).

PROACTIVE love was the identifying mark, not putting up with one another (though that is fine work, too.)

34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

HOW did Jesus love his disciples? Yes, he put up with them, but his love was a lot more proactive than that. Jesus held children on his lap, he instructed, he touche lepers, he healed sick people, resurrected the dead, fed hungry people. Jesus's love was VISIBLE.

I'd like to hear your support for your confidence in your statement that forgiveness is the most important way to show love today. I'd like to see the scriptures that tell you that's so.

Remember, the most important thing today is:

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" (Matthew 22:36 NIV). Jesus replied, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV).

AND:

"We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."
1 John 4:19-21 (New International Version)

82

Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl in

so, here's your typical "i'm concerned about you" letter.

and my responses.

wanna take a look?.

nextdoorgirl

My response:

When I say "my family" I am speaking of certain individual family members, not you per se.

You will not love me unless I am the same as you.
You are saying you need to judge me as worthy of your friendship, as worthy of your love. That is extremely narrow and conditional love--Pharisee-like (rules), not Christ-like (unconditional love).

Jesus said it is not for us to judge our brother; even HE wouldn't judge Satan. Rather, it is our job to love one another, and leave the judging up to him.

I hear you are threatened. You think that your faith will be ruined if you associate with someone who doesn't love God. You think that if you showed love to someone, that would make you leave God.

I think the truth is the most important thing, too. The number one thing of greatest importance is Love.

"If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I HAVE THE GIFT OF PROPHECY and COMPREHEND ALL MYSTERIES and all KNOWLEDGE; IF I HAVE ALL FAITH so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind...it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth."

1 Cor 13: 1-6 online Bible I am interested in associating with Christ's followers, those loving unconditionally. The scripture above shows that you can have all knowledge, including accurate knowledge (john 17: 3), you can have all faith, you can prophesy (preaching work), but if you do not have love it is all for nothing. And Jesus shared the same point in the Good Samaritan story: you can be a faithful levite, a priest even, but if you do not have love, you do not inherit eternal life. But you CAN be an apostate and get life. You simply MUST show UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. That is the all important thing. Everything else is negotiable to Jesus, but the lack of love is a dealbreaker. Displaying unconditional love is the non-negotiable Jesus has. He is less concerned with "fine works" if love is lacking.

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life." (Matthew 25: 34-47 21 “Not everyone saying to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter into the kingdom of the heavens, but the one doing the will of my Father who is in the heavens will. 22 Many will say to me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and expel demons in your name, and perform many powerful works in your name?’ 23 And yet then I will confess to them: I never knew YOU! Get away from me, YOU workers of lawlessness. (Matthew 7:21)

82

Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl in

so, here's your typical "i'm concerned about you" letter.

and my responses.

wanna take a look?.

nextdoorgirl

Yeah, maybe I should pull back. But, what's done is done.

You'll notice there is no response to my words, only stiff coldness.

The response letter:

My relationship with Jehovah always comes first and if you are not a lover of Jehovah anymore...not saying you aren't but if you are not I simply cannot have a relationship with you because that would draw me away from Jehovah. And I refuse to leave his side. Ultimately the truth is the most important thing right now, and accomplishing God's will till the paradise comes, where everyone will love each other perfectly. And no one will ever be in want of heart. You say I can't help the problem and the elders can't...what exactly is the problem? You say the problem isn't me or them...who is it then? You want your family members to love you? Am I no longer included in that category?- a family member? Forgiveness is the ultimate form of love in this system of things. "to keep putting up with one another in love." 'to keep putting up with one another...' We are all so imperfect. All we can do is our best and that varies from person to person. Arguments will arise, people will be wronged but we still have to do our best to forgive and let go.

82

Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl in

so, here's your typical "i'm concerned about you" letter.

and my responses.

wanna take a look?.

nextdoorgirl

Yeah, TOTALLY, Sab!! Is it EVER too late to offer love???

Yeah, Yknot, I didn't hold any punches. I have a history with this person, we both know it, and she knows the history of the dysfuncitonal, yet PIOUS family. She has taken their side, however, simply because I'm not attending. Puh-lease.

82

Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl in

so, here's your typical "i'm concerned about you" letter.

and my responses.

wanna take a look?.

nextdoorgirl

Thanks a lot Sab!!

It continues:

My response:

I am not going to the meetings out of discouragement. I want my family to love me. It starts there first. I am not interested in empty "words of concern." I want real actions of love. The help I've needed has been the same for years. There is nothing new. Of course I would accept help and encouragement. As I define.

Thanks for your interest in helping, but the problem isn't you, so your help won't fix it. It may help a little, but the problem will remain. The elders can't help with the problem, if you can't. They too, are not the problem, so how can they fix it? Why do you need to know that I will still be close to Jehovah and his people? Is your love conditional? I am very surprised. I hear offers of help but after I pass some sort of examination. Must I qualify for love???

Remember the good samaritan. The good samaritan is a great tale. In it, we learn what it means to really be "good" and to qualify for life. It is all about love. Unconditional love. After all, Jesus said you must even "love your enemies" so certainly, there is no qualifier for love. Everyone gets it if you are a Christian. Jesus dealt that way. He loved, touched, and gave physical and emotional help to those who really needed it. Were they attending at the temple? Were they somehow "qualifying" for his love? The lepers and the woman with the flow were ceremonially shunned. So they certainly couldn't go worship at the temple or do any of the other ceremonially holy things. Yet Jesus still loved them. And in REAL ways. He didn't "encourage" them, be quoting some scriptures and telling them they should go to the temple. He gave they what THEY NEEDED. As they defined.

Also, Jesus was raised in a religious culture where his religious guides taught him to shun people, not even talk to them, nor touch them (so no loving supportive converstation, nor hugs) if they were not deemed "clean." But Jesus overthrew all of that. He touched them, offered them real practical help, and gave them emotional support. He showed LOVE. And love conquers all, even rituals and rules. But, what about the good samaritan? That tale is yet another emphasis on love conquering supposed lables of "clean," "holy" etc. Remember, Jesus said the two greatest commands were to love God and to love your neighbor, and the man whom he was speaking with was already a practicing Jew. So, he should've already "qualified" for life according to his religious belief system. But, Jesus was there to change all that. He emphasized that it wasn't your title or your religion that made you qualify for life. It was your DEEDS.

The man asked "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" So Jesus asked him what the law said, and he answered you must love God and your neighbor. But, wanting to justify himself, he asked "Who really is my neighbor?" Meaning, "who REALLY do I need to love, To inherit everlasting life?"
Did Jesus answer: "Those ceremonially clean are the ones you should love. Avoid the unclean ones." Meaning, love members of your own religion, but anyone else "unclean" you are under no obligation. After all, you must avoid them to remain clean." Were there any qualifiers?

Take a look at the story Jesus used to teach about what it takes to qualify for life. The levites, on their way to SERVE AT THE TEMPLE, were shown as nonloving, and therefore disqualified for life. And yet, the Samaritan, whom all the Jews believed were not only dirty, unclean people, but also disinherited by God and worthy of destruction, as they had set up their own apostate (different from the Jews) form of worship, was shown as the one doing DEEDS OF LOVE. He is the one who qualified, who acted "neighborly."

So, what does that tell you? Distinctions such as "clean" and "unclean" died with Jesus. Conditional love died with Jesus. Those were the old ways, not Christ's ways. Jesus in fact, was the opposite. He showed love to everyone, whether they were "clean worshippers of God" or not. Remember the Samaritan woman at the well? She was given knowledge of Christ's identity. Why, to an APOSTATE, even!

Clearly, Jesus did not shun anyone, rather associating with everyone and giving practical loving assistance to all who needed it. And he gave that as the requirement for life, and the sign of his true followers.

So, was Jesus for or against conditional love? Remember, Jesus made quite a distinction regarding who qualifies for life and who is TRULY SHOWING LOVE, by contrasting a holy levite priest with a lowly, detested, despicable APOSTATE Samaritan. The one SHOWING LOVE, regardless of whether he was even an apostate, was the one Jesus approved.

Luke 10:25-37 (New International Version)

The Parable of the Good Samaritan
25On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
26"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"

27He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[a]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b]"

28"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."

29But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

30In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. 35The next day he took out two silver coins[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'

36"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"

37The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."
Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise." (Luke 10: 25-37)

82

Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl in

so, here's your typical "i'm concerned about you" letter.

and my responses.

wanna take a look?.

nextdoorgirl

Ynot, your ideas are GOLD. I'll consider them, but this conversation has already progressed up to a point. Still, maybe I'll fit it in.

82

Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl in

so, here's your typical "i'm concerned about you" letter.

and my responses.

wanna take a look?.

nextdoorgirl

The response letter:

Your are right in the sense that they need to go to you and not me. Have they not? If they haven't spoken to you about their concerns then they definitely should. I agree. Which is what I would like to do but I need to know if you need help? Do you need encouragement? Are you going to the meetings,praying, are you associating with the brothers and sisters? Are you making these efforts to be apart of God's flock? If so then great! That's a relief. If not...are you willing to accept my help and encouragement? Are you willing to talk to the elders about what is keeping you from doing this? Accept their help and encouragement? I am coming to you because I want to know the truth and clear up any possible misunderstandings or rumors. Because I am concerned about you. But I need to know if it is too late. I don't think it is. If you are willing to be completely honest with me, I will do what I can to be here for you and help where I can. But I need to know that you still want to be close to Jehovah and his people.

82

Family is gossiping about me, and then I get a letter

by nextdoorgirl in

so, here's your typical "i'm concerned about you" letter.

and my responses.

wanna take a look?.

nextdoorgirl

Thank you, Sabastious!! That feels real good. You know I won't be getting much more kudos from others in my life.....so it feels GOOD!

My response to the letter was:

The very fact that they are talking to you--which damages my reputation--shows that they do not love me.

If they loved me, they would show it. They would do what loving people do. They would offer to help. They would state their concern. They wouldn't silently pull away from me and talk about me behind my back.

How does involving yet another person--you--help ME??
But, I can tell you, it does HURT me.

Benevolent intentions means nothing. "The pathway to hell is paved with good intentions."

Hitler had "good intentions" too. You have to look at the behavior. Is it helpful or not? Well, their talking , to YOU, is not helping ME, is it. Actually, it defames my character, a civil crime. Why is it a crime? Because it can cause material damage in my social circle, can't it. People can choose to withdraw from me as a result of these shared conversations. I could lose my support system, my family and friends. That is social murder--ostracism. I could be effectively disfellowshipped, without ever being so, simply based on hearsay!

Instead of socially murdering me, they need to come to me and offer their words and actions of love and concern. Wouldn't that be more productive? And it also protects my reputation. "They seem to think I am falling away from the truth and they want to help but don't know how." This is very funny Danitia. Please. We are talking about a very long process of neglect, over several years, even recently. They do nothing but heap more pain on me.

But when the candle is about to break, they say, "oh, what can we do? It is almost going to break. We don't know how to be loving, because we haven't been up to this point, and caused this whole mess. Now it is at urgent level, and we don't know how to fix it. Maybe we can destroy that last little flaxen? Will that work? (Actually it will.) By destroying that last little flaxen, they effectively remove responsibility to solve the problem they caused. If the problem is now gone (I leave the truth) then they don't have to be loving. They win.

It solves a very difficult problem for them, nicely. They never wanted to be loving in the first place, which is what caused this whole problem. But, the only way to solve it, is to show love. They still don't want to do that, so what to do? Now they look bad, especially since they claim to be Christ's follower, yet they are not doing the most important sign to indicate they are his follower: love(John 13: 34-35).

So, how to get out of this incriminating situation? Well, they could just show love, but that is too much work for them. Rather, boo-hooing about their "concern," while knowing that flaxen will finally break off in neglect, is the perfect solution. The flaxen breaks off, so they no longer have to do anything about it (problem solved) and they look like "good guys" to the ones they boo-hooed too (you.) Notice the difference between the Pharisees actions and Jesus. (Mathew 23:1-7)

"Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples,
2saying: "(B)The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses;

3therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things and do not do them.

4"(C)They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger.

5"But they do all their deeds (D)to be noticed by men; for they (E)broaden their [a]phylacteries and lengthen (F)the tassels of their garments.

6"They (G)love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues,

7and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called (H)Rabbi by men."

Jesus:

28“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 28-29)

Thus says the LORD:
Here is my servant whom I uphold,
my chosen one with whom I am pleased,
upon whom I have put my spirit;
he shall bring forth justice to the nations,
not crying out, not shouting,
not making his voice heard in the street.
a bruised reed he shall not break,
and a smoldering wick he shall not quench,
until he establishes justice on the earth;
the coastlands will wait for his teaching. (Isaiah 42: 1-4, 6-7) So, some people like to pile burdens upon people, and when the people are struggling and crying out against the unjust, intolerable weight, they refuse to adjust the burden, even in the slightest way--with their pinky! Much less, using their arms, back and legs to help carry the burden, or even remove it entirely. Meanwhile, they like the broaden their broaden their phylacery (the little book of the law they wore on their forehead to show how pious they were) and lengthen the fringe on their skirt (another sign of being set apart as holy, but they have to LENGTHEN it, to emphasize how holy they are). And, they want the honour and respect and have the chief seets in the synogogues. All this means, they want to look good in front of others, and go a long way to get there, yet they won't actually DO GOOD, by reducing the burdens of the people. They are all for SHOW, and empty. That is why Jesus said to not copy their ways.

Then, there's him, our examplar. He actually REDUCED the load of the people, refreshing them. And knowing some were as tired out and broken down as a smoking candlestick wick, he wouldn't even put it out. He'd TAKE CARE to protect and preserve it.

You can see the correlation. One is all about looking good while neglecting the needs of the people and adding to their anguish, and the other is about protecting and preserving the people.

I know who my real friends are, and my my real Christian brothers. These others? Their actions speak for themselves.

Imperfection doesn't come into it. That is a "get out of jail free" card, for those who don't want to put in the work to actually be loving as Christ instructed.
Being imperfect is no excuse. If it was, then there'd be no recognizable sign, of who Jesus followers were. Remember, he said, "By this all will know you are my disciples?" He was talking about his imperfect followers, being able to perform that sign. So, if they cannot perform it, they are not his true followers. Whether they claim "imperfection!" or not. Wait a minute. Do they claim they "want to, they just don't know how?"

Wow, you've got to be kidding. For people who've been following Jesus for how long? And they don't know HOW? They don't know how to SHOW LOVE??

Well, if you can't show love, whether its from inability--as they claim--or simple unwillingness, they're still disqualified. If you don't show love, you're not Jesus follower. Simple as that.

And, going to someone YOUNGER then them to learn how to be more loving, someone with less years of experience practicing love, and following Jesus, is a real laugh!

Why go to YOU?? Shouldn't they go to God in prayer, and go to Jesus in the bible? Shouldn't they ask for help to be more loving, reading about Jesus ways in the bible, seeking to copy his example? Won't he have the best ideas? And how about asking God for holy spirit? Love is one of the fruitages.

This going to you is a sidestepping of solving the problem. While simultaneoulsy "looking good."