Since I left however I haven't been able to regain that peace. I know it's illogical to think I can only gain peace and happiness by being a JW, but my life has become so bad right now that I'm suffering from a severe case of nostalgia.
The reason you are probably finding it so difficult right now is because Witnesses are not trained to have a realistic view of the world, nor are you allowed to develop a moral compass within yourself to determine how to live your life. It's all done for you, courtesy of the Watchtower. Therefore, when someone leaves the Organization without the proper mental and emotional tools, some find it incredibly difficult to 'make it' out there in the real world and they start looking back at the KH with 'nostalgia'. It's kind of like a woman who decides to leave an abusive husband, but who has no marketable skills with which she can utilize to support herself with and if she's never worked outside the home, it's doubley difficult. She may take a lousy job just to support herself and soon she starts thinking back with nostalgia to the nice home she might have had with her husband, the car, the security of having someone there.....suddenly, life with an abuser doesn't seem so bad and she thinks about going back to him because that's all she knows and it's what feels comfortable to her. How is what you're doing any different?