I remember when I really understood clearly, without any doubt, that "The Truth" was not the truth at all. That experience for me is best described as a coup de foudre. I had been studying numerous topics from anthropology to history to sociology and had gained a broad based understanding of religious institutions. It all came together. I'll never forget that OMG moment. During that term, I also had the fortune to read the poem "Lies" by the Russian poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko. I connected to that poem on both an intellectual and emotional level. It spoke to my experience as a Jehovah's Witness who had escaped to university.
Here is that poem (in translation):
Lies
Telling lies to the young is wrong.
Proving to them that lies are true is wrong.
Telling them
that God’s in his heaven
and all’s well with the world
is wrong.
They know what you mean.
They are people too.
Tell them the difficulties
can’t be counted,
and let them see
not only
what will be
but see
with clarity
these present times.
Say obstacles exist they must encounter,
sorrow comes,
hardship happens.
The hell with it.
Who never knew
the price of happiness
will not be happy.
Forgive no error
you recognize,
it will repeat itself,
a hundredfold
and afterward
our pupils
will not forgive in us
what we forgave.