Liveandlearn,
If you feel you need back "in" due to being held hostage by the Organization, do not feel one bit guilty about that. Not one bit. It's terrible you are being shunned, and (in my opinion) the Org has MUCH to answer for. You know how they are with their theocratic warfare strategies. Use some of your own and don't feel guilty about it. The WTS wouldn't feel one bit shamed by using their dishonest 'theocratic warfare'...
I really hope things go in the direction you want them to go. You deserve it after what you've been through!