Pale, you have a healthy attitude and outlook on the entire situation. This will serve you and your daughter very well in future. I am so glad that you will be able to provide a good example for her outside of the religion. There's a lot of irony, for sure. Interesting and so typical they wouldn't let you go out on your own terms, but seemed to want to have ultimate control. They almost seem to need that, perhaps as a way to deal with the cognitive dissonance that they surely must experience from time to time.
Cold Steel - they don't announce what people did/didn't do during DFs or Public reproof. I think regardless of whether it's a DF or PR, people who don't know will wonder. There's usually at least a few and often more than a few who do know. Ultimately, most will know. And, this kind of thing takes on a life of its own -- often growing way out of proportion. You could have a sister being disfellowshipped for having an affair with a co-worker, and over a couple of weeks, this turns into having had sex with an entire football team in their locker room, multiple times whilst being filmed... The stories take on a life of their own.