Posts by laverite

26

Ex JW of 30 years , still messed up from it

by Doubledecker in

jw
friends

hi , this is my first post .. i left jws 30 years ago as 18 year old unbaptised youth and after the initial fallout from leaving pretty much put the whole thing in a box and buried it .. however , i am now starting to realise how much the doomsday messages and the ‘them and us’ doctrines that’s fed to you from birth has remained in my core beliefs.. how have others managed to reprogram themselves ?.

thanks for reading , have a good day .

dd.

laverite

DD,

I also left the Watchtower Corp about 30 years ago around the same age as you! The first few years, the programming still impacted me.

For a few years, I still had some irrational fears of demons even though I knew it was all poppycock. When there was thunder or lightening, my heart would start to beat fast, as there was still some anxiety about Armageddon (despite what my brain was telling me). I am a born-in and some old family members at that time still sang some of the old songs. They would sing things like: "Let the seas, and thunders roar! Warn of Armageddon's war. Joyfully sing the praise. Jehovah God is King!" I associated thunder with Armageddon..so that's why I would have that reaction. I grew up absolutely terrified of the devil and his demons. Back in the 70s, there was constant talk of demon attacks and I was terrified to be alone. Lots of bad memories. I was traumatized by the pictures and imagery of Armageddon in the publications back in the 70s. It was all so terrifying and real to me as a child.

Some of those emotional reactions did hang around for a few years. I can say that over time that got much better. My rational self is in charge and the emotional responses to my JW upbringing have been muted.

27

My husband and I told our families we want to disassociate

by erinee in

well, these stories are always fun, right?

let me share mine.. my husband and have been pimo for 2 years.

inactive for one year.

laverite

The whole breaking your marriage vows, becoming gay (HAHAHAHA OMG like it's possible to switch your sexual orientation), and becoming swingers just made me laugh. I read it a few times. That's exactly the way they think. It's all so muddled and messed up. I can so relate to that, as a born-in who DA'd in my early 20s almost 30 years ago (!!!).

I didn't want my name associated with the Watchtower Corp in ANY way. I wanted to be officially out of there. I didn't want them to have any power over me, so I DA'd. ***BUT**** Years later, in some ways, I look back and think "Why did I play by their rules? Why didn't I just say EFF it and walk out and ignore them?" So I have mixed feelings about having DA'd ONLY because their rules about DF and DA are so ridiculous in every way and I hate the idea that I played along with those rules.

I am so thankful for my life outside the Watchtower. So so so so grateful in every way. I've had 30 years to reflect on that. Even with the shunning etc. I would leave all over again. I just wish I could have mentally checked out before becoming an adult.

15

Can't deny my JW's past

by StephaneLaliberte in

today was a beautiful day and so, decided to drive by my old town with my wife.

at some point, she asked me to stop talking about jws to which i said: i'm talking about were i lived, what i did and who i knew.

its just that all of it was jws!

laverite

Simon, I left mentally when I was 18, and sent a letter of DA at 21. Born-in here. (I shouldn't have sent anything or played by their rules, so that's neither here nor there.)

It's less a part of my life, for sure, though my whole family of origin is still in it. So no contact. Still has an impact.

For me, it's nothing like forgetting where it is or a vague recollection of the people etc as you wrote. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me it's all very, very vidid, even 30 years later. It's like it was yesterday. The people, the meetings, the assemblies, the sights and sounds...The smells of the cafeteria food at the circuit assemblies, everything. I can still see it, hear it, smell it, taste it... It's all there.

The beliefs, the Watchtower Corp, etc. It's all total bull crap. That stuff was packed away a very long time ago. But the people, the experiences and the impacts are all still there.

60

Rec'd a letter from my Dad - need some advice...

by Fadeaway3pointer in

fader here - last meeting was in autumn 2005. lurker on this site and others.

not one to get all controversial.. typical situation, pretty much a born in and left the church at age 38 and never looked back.. i'm 53 now, parents getting older - late 70s but very active, dad is still an elder.. parents, in laws, brother and brother-in-law still uber active jws.. my family (wife and 2 adult children) out since 2005.. we have stayed close to our parents - we have treaded religion lightly and have had a pretty good relationship and have kept our personal lives and beliefs/opinions separated from them.

this was intentional - as we love them and do not want anything to cause shunning since they are getting older and want to be there for them and we respect their beliefs.. got this letter today.

laverite

I think it's a matter of accepting the situation for what it is. They have come to this decision and given you notice. What can you do, really? It is what it is. I DA'd in 90s. I've been shunned since then, except for "family business." I know I can't change them. So I accept the situation for what it is. It's a high control religion and can be very destructive to families. It sucks. But you can't change what you can't change. So sorry you are going through this.

15

What is wrong with Hollyweird?

by LoveUniHateExams in

so, the trailer for the new batwoman series was released a few days ago.. proof positive that hollywood, cw network and other movie/tv producers live in their own bubble and are continuing to push their sjw agenda.. the trailer itself has unbelievable levels of cringe at times.. batwoman happens to be a woman (if you hadn't already guessed) and an out and proud lesbian.

of course, there's nothing wrong with any of this, it just feels so forced.

within a few seconds of the trailer you get some girl-on girl action, just to hammer home the sexuality thing.

laverite

I think it looks great.

33

Hi from England

by victimofdeceit in

jw
friends

recently quit being a jw because i realised that beyond armageddon i was going to be ruled by people who cover up child abuse, not telling the congregations by their letter where the money they donated in the box is going towards paying compensation for legal battles which they caused, and also i was bullied by elders and discriminated against for being homosexual, even though i am not practicing it.

it wasn't until i threatened legal action for a breach of confidence that the elders were deleted.

so through the media and my own personal experience, i realised that they were no different to corrupt businesses in the world.

laverite

Welcome! This is tough to go through. You probably feel very insecure and even frightened. You are out, on your own, and it's a scary world. But it DOES get better. And so many new and exciting experiences are possible now. Perhaps you will find a partner. Wishing you all the luck and best wishes.

35

After Being Out for 17 Years He is Back In again!!!

by new boy in

jw
friends

i called a guy i haven talked with for over two years yesterday.

i met him at bethel back in the 1970's.

david b was known as the g job king back then.

laverite

I wonder how soon it will be before he realizes what a big mistake he has made?

50

sigh

by C.O.B.E.Beef in

jw
friends

this is my first time participating in a site like this , so please.

forgive me if my approach is clumsy.. my story is not extraordinary and hardly interesting, so thanks.

in advance to this forum for extending the bandwidth for my own.

laverite

C.O.B.E.Beef, what is the update? How have you been and where are you now in relation to The Truth™? Perhaps I've missed some stuff in the last five years. :)

9

My JW mother asks me to be 2nd on her "Medical Directive" card

by OnTheWayOut in

jw
friends

my mother's parents, my grandparents were not jw.

my jw mother had medical power of attorney and her husband (never jw) was secondary on that.

when grandma needed blood, mom let her husband sign off.

laverite

"She said she doesn't want the elders making decisions." Wow. THAT is interesting! It's also interesting that she's found a way for things to happen in the past without being directly involved. I like her.

16

JWs and Field Service Attire

by laverite in

jw
friends

this morning the jws are working my neighborhood.

i have a birds eye view from my upstairs office.

on my side of the street is three men with a baby in a stroller.

laverite

I'm fascinated by these replies. Thanks for sharing everyone. I didn't know this was so standard now. The thing is that I am often working from home weekdays, and my street is worked (waaaaaay over worked, fact!!) and it's almost always sisters working week days. Sometimes, I see older men working the street, but they are always dressed in their entire JW uniforms. I think it's so rare for me to see youngish men working this street, that the combination of the shoulder bag, clothes, etc. seemed in such contrast to what I am used to seeing on my street.

Thanks all!