exwhyzee

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Posts by exwhyzee

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  21

  Missing my Mom

  by exwhyzee in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  she and my dad brought us to the u.s. from ireland in hopes of giving the 4 of us kids a better life with more opportunities.. mom went to school in her village where her mother (my grandmother) was the teacher and the bible was part of the curriculum.

  they even used the name jehovah.

  her father was a plymouth brethern (think amish or quaker) who was shunned for the rest of his life for marrying my grandmother who wasn't "in the lord"...she belonged to church of ireland.. when the witnesses came to the door after we arrived in the u.s, mom was a shoe-in candidate for their recruitment.

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  exwhyzee

  Thanks again for your kind and most welcome comments everybody and for sharing a bit of your own stories as well.
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  21

  Missing my Mom

  by exwhyzee in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  she and my dad brought us to the u.s. from ireland in hopes of giving the 4 of us kids a better life with more opportunities.. mom went to school in her village where her mother (my grandmother) was the teacher and the bible was part of the curriculum.

  they even used the name jehovah.

  her father was a plymouth brethern (think amish or quaker) who was shunned for the rest of his life for marrying my grandmother who wasn't "in the lord"...she belonged to church of ireland.. when the witnesses came to the door after we arrived in the u.s, mom was a shoe-in candidate for their recruitment.

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  exwhyzee

  Thanks everyone for your responses. Looking back at my original post I realize it's pretty sad. We did have the sadness I spoke of but we also had moments of great fun all the same. I must tell you a few things I thought of later that brought a smile to my face.

  My Mom, as bright as she was, could also be a bit absent minded. For instance:

  • She played the piano at the meetings. One evening in her rush to get to the Hall on time she forgot to put on her dress. She put her coat on straight over her slip and didn't discover it until she rushed into the Hall just as the meeting was starting, sat down at the piano and began unbuttoning her coat. Luckily she realized what she'd done just as she was about to throw her coat off her shoulders. We never let her live that one down.

  • She didn't know one kind of car from another. Color was the only way she could tell them apart. She was forever getting into other peoples cars that were the same color as ours. One time our whole family was waiting for her to come out of a store. We watched in delight as she got into the car parked across from us and demanded and explaination from it's occupants as to what they thought they were doing in our car. Then she saw all of us roaring with laughter in the next car over and had to do the walk of shame over to the right car.
  • Another time out in field service, the car group was parked in the street waiting for her to finish up at a door. She came down the driveway and got into the householders car and wondered where everyone had gone.

  • As kids we knew if we were going to be punished that if we got her laughing things would be ok. I remember her coming after me with a wooden spoon for being a smart @ss. She was swatting away at me, going around and around in circles. I began singing the Lucky Charms commercial with a mock Irish Leprechaun accent and doing a jig all around her .

  Me: " Yer always after me lucky charms !

  Mom:" You'll be needin' more than Lucky Charms once I get a hold of ya"

  Me: " Oh but they're magically Delicious "

  Then we both burst out laughing and she , all out of breath said.

  Mom: "Yes well you'll be laughin' on the other side of yer face as soon as your father gets home"

  She often used some "expressions or figures of speech" from her part of Ireland that didn't always translate well in America.

  For instance when we were all teenagers (ready to mock anything) we were in the living room and heard her on the phone talking to a "discouraged" sister from our Congregation who's name was Sandy.

  The conversation was winding down and to our horror (and delight) instead of saying something like "Well, hang in there Sandy" or "Keep your chin up Sandy" she said " Well Sandy...keep your pecker up"

  We all broke up laughing and heard Sandy shreaking with laughter on the other end of the phone. Poor Mom had no idea what she had just said because where she was from that was a completely normal thing to say. (You should have seen her face when we told her what that means in America.) I'm guessing ol' Sandy's depression lifted quite suddenly after that one.

  To me she was just regualar ol' Mom. But I remember her comming to my school at the beginning of each year to explain the whole JW stance on holidays and birthdays and being so embarrassed by that yet at the same time so proud later when the teacher would remark on how beautiful or gracious she was or the kids would ask me if my Mom was a Movie star.

  Mom would be in her late 70's now and who knows what trials she would be facing had she lived. Avoiding all that I guess was the only good thing about having lost her so early.

  Anyway, like I said, we had moments of great fun and it helps to remember the good stuff.
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  21

  Missing my Mom

  by exwhyzee in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  she and my dad brought us to the u.s. from ireland in hopes of giving the 4 of us kids a better life with more opportunities.. mom went to school in her village where her mother (my grandmother) was the teacher and the bible was part of the curriculum.

  they even used the name jehovah.

  her father was a plymouth brethern (think amish or quaker) who was shunned for the rest of his life for marrying my grandmother who wasn't "in the lord"...she belonged to church of ireland.. when the witnesses came to the door after we arrived in the u.s, mom was a shoe-in candidate for their recruitment.

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  exwhyzee

  My mother and father died before I fully "came out" of the organization. I kept them at arm's length over thirty years because, of course, they were "worldly" and I couln't be contaminated too much by them

  Such a shame Quandry....and the difficult part is there is no one who will take accountability for having caused this kind of damage. It's a faceless orginazation unless there is praise to be had. This is why so many in our position would love to see them publically brought down and go to almost crazy lengths sometimes just to be heard....to be recognized. Thanks for your kind words.

  Thanks for sharing your story, when I met you I heard the story about your sons but not about your parents.

  You're welcome Startingover...yes there's always more it seems. Once you wake up after having been in the religion enough decades, you realize that you've been been dismissing at a lot of things that have happened to you as being isolated incidents. When you finally dare to list them out one after another in cronological order it makes you realize how duped you were.

  Immigrants such as my Mom and and your relatives as well as those isolated from their normal support system for some reason, are really vulnerable. Of course we all learned to view these ones as "sheeplike or crying and sighing ".
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  21

  Missing my Mom

  by exwhyzee in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  she and my dad brought us to the u.s. from ireland in hopes of giving the 4 of us kids a better life with more opportunities.. mom went to school in her village where her mother (my grandmother) was the teacher and the bible was part of the curriculum.

  they even used the name jehovah.

  her father was a plymouth brethern (think amish or quaker) who was shunned for the rest of his life for marrying my grandmother who wasn't "in the lord"...she belonged to church of ireland.. when the witnesses came to the door after we arrived in the u.s, mom was a shoe-in candidate for their recruitment.

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  exwhyzee

  She and my Dad brought us to the U.S. from Ireland in hopes of giving the 4 of us kids a better life with more opportunities.

  Mom went to school in her village where her mother (my grandmother) was the teacher and the Bible was part of the curriculum. They even used the name Jehovah. Her father was a Plymouth Brethern (think Amish or Quaker) who was shunned for the rest of his life for marrying my grandmother who wasn't "in the lord"...she belonged to Church of Ireland.

  When the Witnesses came to the door after we arrived in the U.S, Mom was a shoe-in candidate for their recruitment. She was already used to crazy strict religions, knew and used Jehovah's name, was lonely for friends and family and these nice ladies at the door were her first contact with anyone. Poor Dad basically had his life hijacked. His wife and kids were gone three nighs a week. He put his foot down and tore up Moms books....even broke the coffee table in half when she woudn't stop Witnessing to him. He felt terrible afterward and promised to give it a try. He studied for years and beleived all of it but could never bring himself to "engage"in the door to door work which of course as we all know, is a requirement of baptisim, so they dropped him because the end was so close and they couldn't waste their time on anyone who wasn't progressing. (that's what Jesus did...right??)

  Mom however progressed rapidly. Slam went the door on all the opportunities we came to America for. Those things weren't for JW's especially since the end was so close. Mom was very studious (a qualified school teacher herself) and was already streets ahead of her bible teacher right from the beginning. She was a natural at the doors. People were blown away by this tall beautiful lady with the lilting Irish accent who showed up at their door offering a free Bible Study. She wasted a lot of her time and was disapointed often when she'd realize that people were only showing intrest because she was a novelty. Anyway, she threw herself into the religion...even taught herself how to play the Harp beautifully so she could be in the Assembly Orchestra every year. She was quite a sight for sore eyes sitting up there behind a full sized guilded harp. People use to rush up to the Orchestra afterward (especially the little kids) just to talk to pretty the lady with the Harp.

  The photo below was taken at our Kingdom Hall when she was 57 years old (same age I am now). Little did we know that she would pass away from Cancer within the year only a week before Mother's Day. (this is a tough time of year for us). If she'd have lived, I do beleive she'd have eventually left "The Truth". She'd get so annoyed whenever the Society would announce some kind of "New Light" at the assembly and everyone would just sit there with glazed over faces. I remember her looking around at everyone when they said in one such Assembly that the Society never indicated the tribulation would begin by any certian date. She said outloud " Oh...But They Did ! " It stumbled her for a time but she had us kids to think of and was convinced that there was nowhere else to go.

  My Dad passed away a few years after she did due to lack of blood during a surgery. You see, the only thing he ever knew about Blood Transfusions was learned during his study with the Witnesses. He signed the "No Blood Directive" at their advice and wouldn't you know, this was the rare occasion where something went wrong and blood was needed.

  The Brothers and Sisters were wonderful during Mom's illness and we held her Memorial at the Hall. When Dad died, they assured us kids he'd be in the New System because he died upholding Jehovah's Laws , however because he wasn't baptized, we couldn't hold his memorial at the Kingdom Hall.

  I think had our Mom lived, this refusal for use of the Kingdom Hall and because of the allowance of Blood Fractions a few years after his death, she would have called it quits as a JW. She'd have realized that these faceless men in New York have no more inspiration from God than anybody else.

  This post is a bit of a ramble thanks for reading this far....but today is once again Mother's Day and I'm feeling kinda' sad as I do each year, that we never did anything special specifically for our Mother. Everybody loves their Mom but mine truly was special somehow. She was like a beacon of light in our lives and as they say in Ireland " A bit of your own light goes out when your own Mother dies" .

  My non JW Son and his GF came by today with flowers for my Wife but our "still in" JW Son and his Wife although very loving toward her, can't observe the occasion with us and I can't help but wonder how far into the future the JW influence will continue into the family line because my Mother responded that day at the door all those decades ago.
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  76

  What is the biggest regret or source of resentment because of being a Jehovahs Witness?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm sure we could all write long paragraphs about this question, but in a few words, what is your biggest regret, or frustration in life due to being a witness?.

  what missed opportunities did it cost you?

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  exwhyzee

  I would say the biggest regret is that I NEVER pursued any of my interests or talents because they were "bad" and the end was so close. Now my youth is gone. It's not that I regret all of my life choices, it's just that all my choices were never really mine. I was allowed to "choose" from certain items that were already picked out for me, so to speak. Everything from recreation to a marriage partner was strictly regulated. My "choices" were picked for me.

  You nailed it !!
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  3

  22 Characteristics Of A Cult

  by Bangalore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  22 characteristics of a cult.. .

  source : http://thewatchtowerfiles.com/destructivecults/.

  if the leader or leaders write their own material and claim that it is from god or inspired by god or from the mouth of god then they are a cult.if the leadership tells you that you cant read anything written by any other church or religion and only can read what they write then it is a cult.if you are forbidden to speak to or read anything written by someone who has left the group for reasons of conscience or belief then it is most definitely a cult.if the leadership has to write its own version of the bible and call it improved or more accurate and the use of that translation is unique to that religion then it is most definitely a cult.if personal choice and independent thought is considered to be evil then it is most definitely a cult.if asking difficult questions is discouraged then it is most definitely a cult.if, when finding a particular question difficult or impossible to answer you are told to just have faith or wait on the lord then you are probably in a cult.if it is forbidden to disagree either privately or openly with the leadership on any point then it is most definitely a cult.if you are encouraged to sever ties with anyone not affiliated with your religion then it is most definitely a cult.if the group actively solicits membership it is probably a cult.if an interested person is only given enough information to pique their interest but not enough information to scare them away then it is most definitely a cult.if you are told to teach just the good stuff during the initial phase of a person studying with you then you are most definitely in a cult.if there are aspects of your teaching that are purposely kept hidden until the student is very far along in the indoctrination process then you are most definitely in a cult.if the members are instructed to be especially nice to new visitors then it is probably a cult.if the leadership teaches that they are the only ones with the truth and that everyone else is deceived then you are in a cult.if the members are encouraged to turn other members in for infractions then it is 100% most definitely a cult.if you are given a litany of rules and regulations to follow then you are most definitely in a cult.if your schedule is booked with group activities to the point that you have little or no time to yourself then you are most definitely in a cult.if you are told to have little or nothing to do with anyone, including close friends and family members, who choose to leave the group, then you are most definitely in a cult.if your leadership is nameless, mysterious, aloof, unapproachable, unaccountable or otherwise nebulous then you are most definitely in a cult.if your leadership doesnt have to report their income to you or the government then you are most definitely in a cult.if higher education is considered evil and strongly discouraged by the leadership then you are most definitely in a cult.bangalore.

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  exwhyzee

  Thanks for posting this....now where's my facebook page.
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  22

  Traumatic memories never grow up, neither does the person

  by wanderlustguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mother has been through a lot in her life, some bad before the truth, then following through during and after.

  almost all of which she never shared with me until the past few months when i had to have my questions answered to get past the events i was stuck on.

  i feel i am aging in years every month now, and was curious as to why.

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  exwhyzee

  We can't mentally revisit the time when we were taken advantage of by an older stronger person, revisiting with our current knowledge and strength and fortitude. We are eternally at that stage in our lives in that memory.

  Isn't this condition called "Arrested Development" ? It happens to drug addicts, alcoholics and trauma victims. Their emotional development or maturity stays at the same level they were at when they first starting "using" or were first "abused" and doesn't progress beyond that point until they face up to whatever reality they are numbing themselves to.

  I suppose a religion could do the same thing if you were using it as a means to hide from or delude yourself the realities of life. That's one of the reasons JW's have such a rough go of things when they leave. They suddenly have to get used to the idea of growing old and dying and have to rid theselves of the magical thinking they've been engaging in for so long.

  "Die Religion ... ist das Opium des Volkes".... ("Religion is the Opium of the People" -Karl Marx)
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  7

  HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

  by cultBgone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for all the moms who never get to hear this from their disconnected family:.

  happy mother's day!

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  exwhyzee

  I just posted a tribute to my lovely Mom who we lost to cancer when she was only 57. I was thinking about how stupid it was that we never did anything for her on Mothers Day. Wasn't it because there was something Pagan about worshiping women or something weird like that?

  After I posted my tribute, I saw this article on Yahoo. Apparently Mothers Day is only 100 years old today. How was it that they thought it had to do with the Pagans?

  Leave it to the JW's to find some religious significance to the occasion and ban it. Yet another "take away" brought to you by the good folks at Watchtower.
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  17

  I was a door-to-door magazine salesman...but I didn’t know it!

  by Londo111 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  both jws and former jws dont seem to remember that up until 1990, jws sold magazines, books, and brochures from door to door.

  you went to either the magazine or the literature counter and bought publications that you were going to sell.

  pioneers would get a slight discount.

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  exwhyzee

  Yep...we were all "Publishers" and this forum is The Publishers Clearinghouse.
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  297

  BETHELITES - Whatever Became of?

  by Black Man in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i often times wonder what happened to certain bethelites that i ran around with during my 1990s tenure there.

  while there are still a few left there, the greater majority of them aren't there for various reasons (marriage, disillusionment, left the borg, etc).

  a couple of cats i wonder about - there was one brother who i believe was from kansas, who got his fingers cut off in a printing press.

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  exwhyzee

  I found my Bethel roommate, John (Johnny) Tender, on facebook about 2 years ago. He was so happy that I found him. He'd been looking for me for years. Our paths crossed many times without knowing it.

  It was great to talk to him and get caught up and review all the mischief we used to get up to. Apparently he left Bethel after 4 or 5 years and became a Pioneer and also of the Annointed (unbelievable) he never married. He later developed an enlarged heart and eventually passed away (mid 50's) recently after dealing with that for about 13 years I think. He was a transplant candidate but told me he wanted to be with "his Lord and his God" as soon as possible. He didn't care that I wasn't a JW anymore and had complaints of his own about the Org.

  What about:

  Mike Lewis from Maryland (Bindery and later, the Legal Dept.)

  Herman McMickens from Winston Salem S.C.(Bindery) Became a C.O down south somewhere.

  Clarence Scott from long Island (Bindery)

  David Davis Washington State

  John and Sarah Mackey Washington State

  Ed Robinson from Seattle

  Rick Ricker

  Tibor Weise

  Milton Carrion from Puerto Rico

  Hector Mendez from Puerto Rico

  Ernie Grice from Seattle (waiter)

  Paul Oakes from Seattle

  Gary Ellis

  Lance Canada from Poughkeepsie NY

  Alvin Morris from Detroit

  Gil Acasio from Hawaii

  Randy Saike from Hawaii