it took almost 3 years after we quietly left our last meeting (memorial 2008) before anyone came looking for us.
after nearly 25 years raising our family in the same hall and it was as if we didn't exist anymore.. that happened about a year ago but yesterday the boys and our daughter in law were here and were all having a late breakfast and lounging around in our robes an p.j's having a nice morning.
we were sitting at the kitchen table looking out the sliding glass door at one of those summer rains where it just buckets down all of a sudden.
Thank them for the invite and tactfully let them youre not availible to join them. Are you faded?
Yep...faded like a favorite pair of bluejeans.
I'll be tactful but I know they're gonna ask why we won't go. Then there will be a line drawn that may not be crossable anymore. Old friends are hard to come by these days.
i was having a discussion with a (currently serving) elder recently when he brought up a straw-man argument that went something like this:.
elder: i've been invited to speak with other christian groups, you know what they do when studying the bible?.
elder: they read a verse or chapter, then go around the room asking how everyone interprets the reading.
They read a verse or chapter, then go around the room asking how everyone interprets the reading.
Doesn't that sound interesting? Almost like a book club. Can you imagine a Watchtower Study where it was actually a discussion that was kept on topic by a moderator ? Where there were no wrong answers or foolish questions. I think it would be really enlightening, stimulating and would draw the congregation closer together.
Most JW's I knew didn't talk about the Bible to eachother because we already knew what the other would say on any given subject. If you had thoughts of your own, you knew better than to voice them.
it took almost 3 years after we quietly left our last meeting (memorial 2008) before anyone came looking for us.
after nearly 25 years raising our family in the same hall and it was as if we didn't exist anymore.. that happened about a year ago but yesterday the boys and our daughter in law were here and were all having a late breakfast and lounging around in our robes an p.j's having a nice morning.
we were sitting at the kitchen table looking out the sliding glass door at one of those summer rains where it just buckets down all of a sudden.
An update on this posting:
I just got home from work and there was a pink envelope under the front doormat. It was a card from that couple who stopped to give us the invitation to the D.C. It said that they really enjoyed visitinig with us and thanked us for being so hospitable even though they dropped in unannounced. They said that it's a sign of a good friend when you can do that and be made to feel so welcome. It said they miss us and they want us to sit with them at the assembly this weekend. They left thier new phone numbers and want us to call and let them know.
It was really nice for us to see them too and I don't want to hurt their feelings. They are the first ones after all this time to actually ask us to come back. But I can't imagine going to the assembly unless I could go anonymously in another city and be a fly on the wall just to see what it would be like after all this time. I do wonder if the old anxiety would come back like it used to as soon as smelled the new literature and I heard the music and heard them testing the microphones by announcing "And this good news of the kingdom will be preached throughout the world and then the end will come !" That used to freak me out for some reason. It's been so great to be free of that horrible sensation that I don't want to risk it returning.
Anybody have any ideas of how I could put it to them gently that sitting with them aint gonna happen this weekend ? I wish I knew their email adresses so I could just send them a note rather than call . (coward)
it took almost 3 years after we quietly left our last meeting (memorial 2008) before anyone came looking for us.
after nearly 25 years raising our family in the same hall and it was as if we didn't exist anymore.. that happened about a year ago but yesterday the boys and our daughter in law were here and were all having a late breakfast and lounging around in our robes an p.j's having a nice morning.
we were sitting at the kitchen table looking out the sliding glass door at one of those summer rains where it just buckets down all of a sudden.
The dog barked, there came a knock at the door and Captain Obvious appeared out of nowhere just in the nick of time. LOL !
Now that I've been informed that the assemblies are open to "anyone", it would be interesting to go to a Dc in another city where I didn't know a soul and listen to the program knowing what I know now.
Honestly, I think most of the old friends we once had feel ashamed about what happened to us and aren't quite sure how to go about making up for it. Actually it turned out to be the best thing in the end. Who knows how long I would have continued to wrestle with myself and how bad the anxiety would have gotten before I reached the breaking point. By doing exactly what they were instructed to do, they drove an entire family of life long JW's who were still making a valient effort to live up to their dedication, out from their midst. If anyone is missing a "millstone" I know where it is and who is wearing it around their neck.
i am still physically in but am completely out mentally.. i was curious for those who spent some time in the borg while being mentally out or are still in that position, what is the worst, hardest or most awkward parts... for me i intensly dislike attending the meetings however its bearable as i can just let my mind wander, but field service is awful.
i cannot try to bring someone in to a group that i am trying to plot a way out of.
so now i try my best to either spend the day driving around to others fruitless rv's (we have somewhat rural territory) or eating out at an extended breakfast or if door to door cannot be avoided, i try to work alone and not ring bells.
I was mentally out but physically in for quite a few years before the "last straw" that made me make up my mind to leave, happened.
It took a toll on me in the form of panic and anxiety attacks. I didn't listen to my body telling me something was seriously in need of changing in my life. Unlike you, there was no way I could go from door to door in good conscience feeling like I did. Besides the anxiety I was having was too great. It wasn't until a week after I decided never to set foot in a KH again that I noticed my years of serious anxiety had suddenly quit and 4 years later hasn't ever returned in fact I'm filled with peace and contentment most of the time. My social life is practically nill now but most days I think it's worth it.
I hope you can find a way to be "in" and still enjoy the social benefits and the parts of it that work for you. Hopefully you'll work it out so that your situation won't take a toll on your well being. So many I knew dealt with Depression and Anxiety and I'm sure it was mostly because on some level they knew they were playing games with themselves.
it took almost 3 years after we quietly left our last meeting (memorial 2008) before anyone came looking for us.
after nearly 25 years raising our family in the same hall and it was as if we didn't exist anymore.. that happened about a year ago but yesterday the boys and our daughter in law were here and were all having a late breakfast and lounging around in our robes an p.j's having a nice morning.
we were sitting at the kitchen table looking out the sliding glass door at one of those summer rains where it just buckets down all of a sudden.
It took almost 3 years after we quietly left our last meeting (memorial 2008) before anyone came looking for us. After nearly 25 years raising our family in the same hall and it was as if we didn't exist anymore.
That happened about a year ago but yesterday the boys and our daughter in law were here and were all having a late breakfast and lounging around in our robes an P.J's having a nice morning. We were sitting at the kitchen table looking out the sliding glass door at one of those summer rains where it just buckets down all of a sudden. We heard a knock at the door and the pooch started barking. I opened the door to see "Bill" and "Mary" a 50ish couple we used to be friends with at the Hall,huddled under an umbrella. They are really sweet people and we used to go to dinner with them and visit their home sometimes. Their kids and ours were friends etc. We invited them in and offered them a cup of tea. It was so nice to see them and we had a nice long chat, getting all caught up with their kids and jobs etc. I asked them if they'd like something to eat or some more tea but they said they should be going because the car group is waiting. I had no idea there was other people sitting in the car out in our driveway. They must have been at our house 45 minutes before they mentioned this.
Bill said " We really came by to give you this." He handed me a brochure that said something like " How Would You Like to Wake up Happy and Positive Everyday ?" Then he said " It's an invitiation to the District Assembly...it's open to anybody." Mary looked away really fast and she sort of blushed.
I just glanced at it and set it down and said " Ok thanks" but I was supressing a smile. Did he actually think that I would think I couldn't come to the assembly without an invitation or that he needed to remind me that anybody (even wicked old me) can attend? It was sort of awkward...I wanted to say "Now that I don't attend those depressing meetings, I do wake up feeling quite positive each morning" They are kind people and I didn't have the heart to say what I really was thinking but I could tell his wife knew. I was glad they saw us all together and viewed the cozy scene of a family enjoying a leisurely breakfast together. I think JW's think those who leave live lives of emtyness.
i've heard the expression jdub coming out of the mouths of a couple of witnesses.
does it mean they know stuff about this organization and could possible be visiting sites such as jwd?.
this is leading me to believe that there are a lot more witnesses that have realized that their religion is a scam..
There are worse things than being called a Jdub.
My little sister came home crying because the neighbor kid called her a Jehovah Sh*tness.
My Mom went across the street and read him the riot act. (so embarrasing)
we all memorized the definition of faith... faith is the assured expectation of things hoped for...yadda yadda.. it seems like more and more as time goes by and our scientific knowledge base grows, we need less and less faith and fewer things can be attributed to god.. do you think we need faith or is faith just a word we use to feel ok about being too lazy to keep looking for the answers ?.
what does faith mean to you now?.
.
You put faith in your doctor... that he is prescribing the correct treatment.
You put faith in your spouse... that they are truthful and loyal with you.
You put faith in God and His Son... that they speak truth, and keep their word to you
You can put your faith in your doctor because you can meet him for yourself and because there is verifiable proof that he is who he says he is and is qualified to do what he says he can. The faith part is really trust. You trust that he is going to do his job to the best of his abilities while he is treating you.
You put faith in your spouse after you have grown to trust him/her enough to marry them. You can see for yourself what they are like. You trust by reason of information you have gathered yourself, that they will continue to be the same person you have come to know and love.
To put faith in God and his Son is completely based upon unprovable information. Most people would need more solid information before buying a washing machine but they base their whole life around information that is sketchy and unprovable and is highly subjetct to iterpretation . It seems more honest/accurate to say that faith is more often than not based upon a person really really wanting someting to be so because by "virtue" of faith, so much of the unknown (so far) in life can be explained away with magical thinking. Faith comes into play when one has nothing provable to base their beliefs in and don't want to look any furthur or because one needs an answer right now to lean upon and they want to feel smug and selfsatisfied about it even though they have no real proof.
For hundreds of years so much of the unknown was attributed to God. Each time science is able to explain things that were once unexplainable, there is less and less that is attributable to him. What does that say about Faith and the existence of God as we have come to understand him? Where would we be if those who made scientific discoveries would have just stuck to their faith based beliefs and didn't bother looking any furthur. JW's benefit from all those who don't just sit back and say "God is going to fix everything" but who go out and look for answers that help us now. The Bible tells us how we got here and how the earth was formed and why things are the way they are but that's not enough for some people. They need more detail before they have faith. They literally dig for information, and personally discover, exchange and share information with others rather than blindly accept what was said before. Are they lacking in faith?
we all memorized the definition of faith... faith is the assured expectation of things hoped for...yadda yadda.. it seems like more and more as time goes by and our scientific knowledge base grows, we need less and less faith and fewer things can be attributed to god.. do you think we need faith or is faith just a word we use to feel ok about being too lazy to keep looking for the answers ?.
what does faith mean to you now?.
.
We all memorized the definition of faith... Faith is the assured expectation of things hoped for...yadda yadda.
It seems like more and more as time goes by and our scientific knowledge base grows, we need less and less faith and fewer things can be attributed to God.
Do you think we need faith or is faith just a word we use to feel OK about being too lazy to keep looking for the answers ?
What does faith mean to you now?
Always nice to open your front door and be presented with these cheery day brighteners.
After reading certain articles or hearing certain talks I often felt like this cartoon character .
