Posts by exwhyzee

5

In praise of praise and compliments

by exwhyzee in

i was thinking about how important praise and compliments are and how they can make all the difference to a person who may be feeling unsure, overwhelmed or sort of ordinary.

i received 3 out of the blue compliments this past weekend that for some reason seem to have energized me when i was feeling sort of like just another starfish on the beach.

one compliment gave me the reassurance that i am on the right track.

exwhyzee

exwhyzee, I like your screen name, its quite clever. That's another genuine compliment !!! -Whathappened

See what I mean.....I used that name because I was too unclever to come up with anything better. It's true what you were saying about having to be sure and dole out the compliments to children carefully lest you make them feel pigeon holed into a certain role. Then again they have to learn that just because sister #1 is told she is pretty means that sister #2 isn't pretty.

B.O.C. "You and your sisters have two really amazing brains!"

What your Dad said to you probably went farther toward giving you the confidence and permission to eventually use your own head than hours of lecturing and debating over what differences he had with you being raised JW.

Fakesmile I agree, being alert to opportunities for catching someone doing well is so much more motivating than looking for wrongdoing. It seems like some folks are stingy with praise because they think they need to keep others in their place....keep them from thinking too highly of themselves. (god forbid) If they tell you you are doing well they are afraid you'll slack off.

I'm still on a little bit of a high from what was said to me a few days ago and it has reminded me to be on the watch to do the same for those around me.

5

In praise of praise and compliments

by exwhyzee in

i was thinking about how important praise and compliments are and how they can make all the difference to a person who may be feeling unsure, overwhelmed or sort of ordinary.

i received 3 out of the blue compliments this past weekend that for some reason seem to have energized me when i was feeling sort of like just another starfish on the beach.

one compliment gave me the reassurance that i am on the right track.

exwhyzee

I was thinking about how important praise and compliments are and how they can make all the difference to a person who may be feeling unsure, overwhelmed or sort of ordinary. I received 3 out of the blue compliments this past weekend that for some reason seem to have energized me when I was feeling sort of like just another starfish on the beach. One compliment gave me the reassurance that I am on the right track. Another gave me the shot in the arm I needed to keep going with a difficult project. The third one made me very late and makes my heart thump in my chest when I think about it 3 days later. Everyone gets compliments that are often just niceties that we say to one another but when someone compliments or praises you and is very specific, it really can get to you and make all your efforts feel worthwhile.

What’s the nicest compliment you’ve received and how did it make you feel? Maybe you complimented someone and could see by their reaction that you had said just the right thing. Tell us about it.

62

Best EZ 1 Liners to Say to Witnesses?

by LV101 in

jw
friends

any suggestions?

attending an invite (strange we're invited but hoping to make it worth my while) but i don't want to suffer big consequences as i've already said enough wrong stuff.

i'm stuck reading hassan's ccmc book (about half way --- just don't have time and not into it).

exwhyzee

I guess I'm a little dense but I'm not clear what it is your're asking.

If you are attanding a JW gathering and don't want any kind of confrontation but are pressed for reasons or answers, you can make up your mind to be as vague and elusive as you can without being rude. Be prepared to give the blankest looks you can muster and be comfortable with saying things like "Hmmm...I'm not sure.....or......It's .Hard to say for sure isn't it ?

When pressed, I've said something to this effect.

"Well....we both know this is a sensitive subject and I prefer to keep my thoughts on the matter to myself. I did a little homework and I discovered some things that I wasn't previously aware of before being baptized. The information is out there for anyone to see but I don't want to be accused of trying to lead anyone astray because that isn't the case at all.

104

Service meeting topic: Masturbation

by perfect1 in

one of my strangest memories of going to the kh was when a young- maybe 18-20, pimply young man got up to talk about jhvhs view of masturbation during a service meeting.. of course, it was impossible to think about him not masturbating.

i was just hitting puberty and found the whole thing very uncomfortable- i think my dad was even critiquing him (what is that called when elder gives the feedback).

looking back now i can see that to publicly condemn masturbation, especially when a young man is delivering this admonition, is- well- hilarious.

exwhyzee

As amusing as this thread is for a non jw I can't even begin to comprehend sitting in a 'church' type setting and having this discussed with all ages and mixed company! Tell a regular (non jw) person this goes on in a kh and they are appalled. So much so it is enough to keep some people from ever stepping foot in a kh they are so disgusted by this practice in dubland.

I was at a Watchtower study once where a few of the paragraphs were covering the topic of circumcision (one of the WT's favorite subjects) and a little girl raised her hand and told us the difference, in detail between circumcision of the heart and actual circumcision. It was just weird. I was so glad there were no new bible studies there or visiting non JW family members there. I couldn't beleive the parents let her raise her hand on that paragraph and or the conductor didn't have sense enough to let someone else comment.

104

Service meeting topic: Masturbation

by perfect1 in

one of my strangest memories of going to the kh was when a young- maybe 18-20, pimply young man got up to talk about jhvhs view of masturbation during a service meeting.. of course, it was impossible to think about him not masturbating.

i was just hitting puberty and found the whole thing very uncomfortable- i think my dad was even critiquing him (what is that called when elder gives the feedback).

looking back now i can see that to publicly condemn masturbation, especially when a young man is delivering this admonition, is- well- hilarious.

exwhyzee

The Congregation went silent when the young brother was told he needed to work on "Repetiton for Emphasis" and "Audience Contact"

29

Candace Conti Awarded Millions in Punitive Damages!

by God_Delusion in

righty, i've just been talking to kathleen (candace's mum) and the good news is that the judge has awarded millions in punitive damages!.

read and share the article here - http://www.jehovahswitnessblog.com/jw-lawsuits/candace-conti-beats-the-watchtower-society/.

what a victory for the conti's and for all ex-jehovah's witnesses everywhere!.

exwhyzee

I wonder how Candice feels in the midnight hour knowing that because she sued the Society, she's now a millionaire? I think I still have enough residual guilt and brainwashing left over not to have some qualms about this. Luckily she's young and has the memory of what happened to remind her how justified her case was.

17

You Can't Live Forever in Paradise on Earth

by smmcroberts in

this will come as no shock to most of us.

but i wanted to detail the reasons in simple language for our witness friends in my latest blog: you can't live forever in paradise on earth.

sorry if it bursts anyone's bubble, but those who are loyal to the truth surely won't mind following where it leads.

exwhyzee

God had to remove them from the Garden to prevent them from eating from the Tree of Life and thereby living forever

I used to ask this same question and similar ones as a kid.

Why did God keep the tree of life around and have to post Cherubs with revolving swords at the entrance of the garden if his plan was to have Jesus die for mankind to gain everlastion life again ?

If there was an entrance to the garden, what if Adam and Eve simply went a few miles down the road and snuck in and ate of the tree when God wasn't looking like he wasn't looking when they ate the forbidden fruit ? It seems like God was afraid that if they accomplished that, he would be powerless against them. He wouldn't be able to take everlasting life back once they had it and therfore would have nothing to hold over them.Would he still be almighty?

How come there had to be a tree of life if they were already perfect and were meant to live forever?

The fact is, if you beleive any of this stuff is literal, then it's easy to convince yourself that god will do a whole bunch of other stuff to make it all work out the way you want it to. The extent of what he might do is directly proportionate to the limits of your own imagination. All people know the same truth, our lives direction is determined by how we choose to distort it.

19

Have the police ever been called to a Judicial Committee Hearing

by hoser in

jw
friends

exwhyzee

: Have the police ever been called to a Judicial Committee Hearing

Yes...wasn't there an experience in one of the yearbooks where an unbelieving husband called the police when elders tried to intervene in a family dispute. The attending officers were so impressed with the kind knowledgable elders, the cleanliness of the Hall, all the colorful books and the mysterious lack of windows that they immediately wanted to hear more about these curious people. A study was started and several of their fellow officers joined in. It seems they too wanted to hear more of these life saving truths. "We've never heard such things" one of them was heard to say. Several of the officers were baptized and have joined the Pioneer ranks while the search for employment more suitable for a minister. Their former Police Chief is showing intrest and Sarge the precinct police dog is taking the magazines and is said to be lapping up the life giving waters found therein .

10

a JW caught on video with foot-in-mouth disease!

by moshe in

jw
friends

this brother really digs a hole for himself--.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybhw9bc-kc0&feature=related.

.

exwhyzee

"Yes...each and every one of us is an Ordained Minister"

Ordained...its such an official and important sounding word. You can just hear the thinly veiled smugness and pride in poor Mikes voice as he is saying this. He thinks he's got made and is about to teach the interviewer a thing or two about his religion when suddenly he realizes where this conversation is leading to. You can see the realization come over him. He can't simply give what he knows to be the correct and honest answer to the questions put before him because if he does, he has single handedly failed the organization along with acknowledging a chink in his own spiritual armor.

Don't you feel pity for him? Haven't you heard yourself defending or felling obligated to defend that which you know is flawed? A more savy JW although thoroughly versed in the same line of defense would have declined any comment and smelled a rat long before the camera was rolling. I'm sure he was kicking himself later. Luckily his wife calls and gives him an out...hopefully she was back at the seats with a comforting and restorative Cheese Danish and a can of warm Shasta Soda to wash it down with.

21

When You Were A Witness Did You Ever Celebrate A Birthday or Holidays?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i knew some families that celebrated "family day" on christmas eve or some time around the holiday.. i don't know of too many witnesses that actually celebrated but kinda came close....haha.

exwhyzee

Even as a born ins who never had a birthday ourselves we never bought into the whole birthday nonsense even while we were " active" so we always did something special on our boy's birthdates. Sometimes it was a gift or toy or a special desert just for them or something they had been wanting for a long time. The idea was to let them know they were/are very much wanted, loved and it was a very big deal to us that they came into our lives. No matter how old they got, we'd corral them and administer the number of swats per year of age and a pinch to grow an inch and a sock to grow a block followed by a recanting of the story of the night they were born. To this day I do something on their birthdate. The last few years I've sent middle of the night text messages saying " X amount of years ago at this very hour the world became a little more wonderful when a certain little boy came into the world " etc....

We never told anyone about it, family or friends nor did we hide it. It was just a family thing that we felt was up to our own consciences. I was born on the 4th of July and it was always a bummer to have two cool things happening on the same day that I couldn't be part of. Lots of Witnesses who wouldn't dare celebrate a birthday and are utterly against celebrating the 4th of July, see nothing wrong with going to the beach and watching the fireworks along with all the worldly people who do the same thing as part of their celebration. It is such a load of nonsense and I'm glad I at least we can look back and say I made my boys know how special they are to us. It's what parents naturally want to do.