she says for you to take a break--good advice--take it.
like you--i was a M/S in my late teens--and a pioneer--both done to impress the born-in i was courting. we married when i was 20 ( 1968 ). i quit the cult 4 years later--when my daughter was on the way.
we went on to have 2 more sons---but my wife was never happy--she wanted me back in her small religious world. we grew further apart. finally--after 13 years of marriage--i gave her grounds for a scriptural divorce---which she grabbed and went for it as soon as possible.
within a few years--she had completely turned my kids against me--and i had no contact with them for the next 25 years. my ex--and 2 of my kids are still in the cult---one son has quit and he and i are now back in a good relationship.
i'm sure i'm merely one of 000's in the same situation------is that what you want ?