Posts by the-illuminator81

53

Satan the Devil was in idiot

by sabastious in

lets check out his track record (according to the witnesses).. 1. first, he decides to rebel against the most powerful entity in existence that is omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent.

which of course, will doom him to failure the second he begins.. 2. then he starts his brilliant plan to trick eve as a talking snake, interesting how that worked out since snakes don't talk.

(good thing eve was more stupid than satan).. 3. next he bets against god (again) with job.

What happens if after the 1000 year reign, a million years after it, another angel turns rogue, turns into a talking snake, and God has to prove him wrong again? Will billions of humans have to die to make God feel good about himself again? And again? And over and over again?

To me God sounds like he isn't all that omnipotent.. more like a real good procrastinator

- Oh yeah imma kill that snake, imma crush his head!

- But first yall have to wait a few thousand years for my son to come over

* wait a couple of thousand years *

- Oh shit.. they killed my son.. I guess that didn't work.. I better resurrect him

- Oh he doesn't want to play on earth anymore.. yall have to wait just a bit longer, I guess jesus really could use a long long vacation after being killed and all

- Ok guys, i'm sure jesus will come around to kill satan sometime real soon now

- But first, let's put him in a dungeon and then wait a 1000 years and then release him again and then really kill him

* skip ahead 2000 years *

- Hey guys, jesus kicked satan out of heaven and I have to warn ya, he's real pissed! But he's going to put him in a dungeon real soon now! So hang on there folks!

2

Armenia's JWs officials deny linkage of patricide with their group

by behemot in

jw
friends

previous post on this topic here:.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/201882/1/armenia-son-says-he-killed-parents-according-to-jehovahe28099s-command.

armenias jehovahs witness officials are vehemently protesting the linkage of a recent patricide in armenia with the religious group after a barrage of criticism and disparaging reports were spread in the local media.

the-illuminator81

Ordering a son to murder his parents? Sure sounds like Jehovah.. he doesn't mind killing a few innocent people here or there. The son probably tried to take a census, and had to murder his parents as punishment.

13

Jw explanation on Nephilim Gen;6:4 And Numbers 13:33

by jam in

jw
friends

a few months ago two jw women caught me unexpectedly, so they talk about the.

usual jw none sense.

the nite before i was reading and researching the nephilim.. more proof to disclaim the flood.

the-illuminator81

See the WTS deploying FUD tactics to leave the sheep confused.

72

I met a good looking religious chick at Froots this morning

by asilentone in

jw
friends

she asked me if i am christian.

i told her that i was raised as a jw, but i do not go to the kingdom hall.

she says that she watch charles stanley and franklin graham on tv.

the-illuminator81

Tell her you believe in Jesus if He can get you laid.

11

How do Jehovah's Witnesses interpret the Bible?

by brotherdan in

this is the information for the number 3 talk this week.. how do jehovahs witnesses arrive at their explanation of the bible?.

a key factor is that the witnesses really believe that the bible is gods word and that what it contains is there for our instruction.

(2 tim.

the-illuminator81

The brooklyn dinosaurs interpret the bible for them, by a show of hands. They spend most of their time discussing disfellowshipping. Apparently this is the most important subject for the governing body. They wouldn't be an evil slave if they weren't beating their fellow slaves around now would they? Every once in a while, they also postpone Armageddon. Mt. 24:48, 49.

13

Follow up on going to college

by noni1974 in

jw
friends

i posted about going to college and getting my ged.

this is an update on that.. .

i am now enrolled in college.

the-illuminator81

You're setting a nice example for some of us Noni!

31

Find your old Assembly Hall...

by Hecklerboy in

jw
friends

i was doing some investigation on google maps for a trip i'm making to pittsburgh, pa next week.. come to find out the the place i'm going is only a few mile from the assembly hall i spent allot of time at as a kid.

looking at this pictures bring back allot of memories.

some good, some bad.. anybody else attend this assembly hall in coraopolis, pa?.

the-illuminator81

In the Netherlands:

photo 1

photo 2

108

I WAS CAUGHT emailing a pdf copy of the New Elders Book

by Smoky in

jw
friends

i sent a .pdf to a few friends and one of them betrayed me and forward it to a elder i know, along with the emails of the recipients.

i cant believe i was so naive to think that i can trust someone..stupid.

i have not talked to the "benedict arnold" yet, but hopefully soon.

the-illuminator81

Man that image of Jesus going D2D is just incredible. I can already hear him saying "Why hello, i'm Jesus, can I interest you in some biblical scrolls?", "Are you one of them Jehovah's? I told to stop knocking on my door! Get out of here Jesus!". Then Jesus walks away sullenly, noting the door down on the do-not-call list...

You just gotta love a COBOE lying about the flock book. That's so terribly hypocritical. How can people like that look themselves in the mirror.

72

Some Confusion - What is this site in regards to JW?

by Green Jade in

jw
friends

i seem to have a bit of confusion concerning the purpose of this website and the people in it.

perhaps i am not computer savvy and do not understand some of the expressions used.

could someone comment and help clarify.. .

the-illuminator81

Welcome Green Jade and greetings from another brown-bodied avatar. Alas without hypnotic eyes.

143

How do Jehovah's Witnesses Explain This Fossil Record?

by sabastious in

according to jws, evolution is false.

so how do they explain these human-like fossils?.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/human_evolution.

the-illuminator81

They use two explanations:

A) Oh those are not humanlike fossils, they are simply apes! Dumb apes!

B) Oh those are not humanlike fossils, they are simply humans! And the dating is wrong, it got all mingled up during the flood, dontcha know?

Both followed up by:

C) Instead of worrying about some old bones found in the dirt, your time would be spent better going in field service. Have you started planning to aux pioneer the coming summer?