Posts by ABibleStudent

17

Hey There...An Introduction to a Married IN nonDub (unbaptised pub)

by HeyThere in

jw
friends

hey there all, i just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and thank you all for this wonderful site and all the helpful discussions sich a loving arrangement .

my name may (or may not) be tracee.

i may (or may not) live in texas.

ABibleStudent

Hi HeyThere, Have you read Harville Hendrix's book Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples? In his book he describes a technique that he recommends for couples that might also work when combined with Steve Hassan's methods. In Chapter 9 of his book he describes using mirroring, validating, and empathizing to improve communication between couples.

If you can get your husband's authentic persona to think before his cult persona says a thought-stopping platitude, it will help him to start to critically think for himself. How would your husband respond if you asked him the following in an inquisitive and sincere tone of voice when he uses a thought-stopping platitude:

"Well, I can see the positive change in my life and our family, so despite some things thats may be off this is what I believe..." ==> What are those positive changes in your life and in our family? . . . (wait for him to respond) . . . What are those things that you feel are off? . . . (wait for him to respond) . . . Repeat (mirror) back what he says to verify that you understand him correctly. Validate and empathize with his beliefs. Ask him specific questions that you have a difference of opinion and you feel are not a positive change in his life nor in your family. Ask him what the WTBTS would have to do for him to lose faith in it. Mirror what he says back to him and then ask him, "Has he done any independent research to justify his blind faith in the WTBTS?"
Something about how actions of a few imperfect men will not taint Jehovah or his beliefs ==> Ask him what acitions have a few imperfect men done to cause him doubts? . . . (wait for him to respond) . . . Repeat (mirror) back what he says to verify that you understand him correctly. Validate and empathize with his beliefs. Ask him what the WTBTS would have to do for him to lose faith in it. Mirror what he says back to him and then ask him, " Has he done any independent research to justify his blind faith in the WTBTS?"
He has also commented about how jw are the only ones out there preaching, etc. ==> Ask him for more details and why he feels it is so important? . . . (wait for him to respond) . . . Repeat (mirror) back what he says to verify that you understand him correctly. Validate and empathize with his beliefs. Question him about either why he gave you a WTBTS sells pitch or why he feels prosthelytizing is so important. How would he compare it to other volunteer organizations he respects (or you respect). Ask him why other religions that prosthelytize are less attractive than the WTBTS. Mirror what he says back to him and then ask him, "Has he done any independent research to justify his faith in the WTBTS?"

If he says the thought-stopping platitude "Where else shall we go?", correct him and ask him if he meant, " “Lord, to whom shall we go ? You have the words of eternal life." John 6:68. Ask him why he didn't know to follow the teachings and example of Jesus Christ instead of other men?

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

14

Breaking News! Azerbaijan to ban Watchtower Magazines

by raymond frantz in

police and other security services have been handed a list of banned books that they will seek to remove and destroy in raids planned for the future in azerbaijan.the list mostly contains muslim texts and books such as those by dr. said nursi a muslim theologian.

i addition , this list contains .... .

read the rest of the post here.

ABibleStudent

Cool picture! Is that in Azerbaijan?

Too bad about the authorities controlling information. I don't like the WTBTS, but banning WTBTS propaganda is not the solution.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

40

Hello!

by Beth Shan in

jw
friends

is this where i can introduce myself?.

nice to meet everyone.

thanks for your patience while i learn how to post on this new site.. <3 beth shan.

ABibleStudent

Beth Shan - My parents are scared to go out for dinner with me and be seen by the elders in the town they live, but they love to come to me and my husbands house and sleep over, shop with me or go for dinner, dances even in a neighbouring city. They admitted they had a problem with the blood fractions policy a few years ago. My dad said that you would have to be a doctor to figure it all out. And that he didn't understand it. I recently confronted my mother about the "mentally diseased apostate" hate speech and she told me that if it "wasn't on JW.org she wouldn't believe it" she had no idea what I was talking about. Accused me of being on an apostate site. I told her I saw it on Youtube, the whole District Assembly transcript. I directed her to the Watchtower that calls us mentally diseased and she sent me back a text that said that I should read from 1 Tim 6:3,4 and that the bible says much worse things about those who do not heed his word...so I left it alone.

Hi Beth Shan, You are very lucky that your parents are willing to associate with you as long as their elders don't see them being with you.

Have you read information by cult-exit counselors like Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visited his website www.freedomofmind.com, and/or watched his FREE videos on his website?

You have many options to help your parents to critically think for themselves, such as:

Doing fun activities where they will meet more non-JWs who they share common interests. Reminding them of how much fun they had and who they met to empower their authentic persona to overcome their cult persona.
Overcoming the WTBTS's thought-stopping platitiudes to empower their authentic persona, such as "the bible says much worse things about those who o not heed his word". How would your mother have reacted to you saying "God's word or the Watchtower's word? Have you read Mt 22:37-40? God's word is to love him with "ALL" your heart, mind, and soul to him and nothing is left over for an organization." or "Where in the Bible did Jesus say anything bad about non-believers? But, he did say a lot of bad things about the Pharisees and Sadducees who victimized the Jews."
Learning how to ask simple questions to plant seeds of doubts in your parents.
Getting your parents involved in fun, interesting, and time consuming hobbies that will allow less time for the WTBTS.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

40

Hello!

by Beth Shan in

jw
friends

is this where i can introduce myself?.

nice to meet everyone.

thanks for your patience while i learn how to post on this new site.. <3 beth shan.

ABibleStudent

Welcome Beth Shan, How are your parents treating you now? Do they agree with some of your opinions about the WTBTS?

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

17

Hey There...An Introduction to a Married IN nonDub (unbaptised pub)

by HeyThere in

jw
friends

hey there all, i just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and thank you all for this wonderful site and all the helpful discussions sich a loving arrangement .

my name may (or may not) be tracee.

i may (or may not) live in texas.

ABibleStudent

HeyThere - He is convinced tht the dubs have helped him become better. That will be very difficult and I will have to maintain that the principles of living in the bible are good - but the cult mentality and lies is not. I am trying to navigate how to do this...not fun!

Hi HeyThere, You are right it won't be fun. It may be tolerable if you think of your actions as empowering your husband's authentic persona to overcome his cult persona.

What though-stopping platitudes does your husband regularly use? If you can learn to overcome thought-stopping platitudes that your husband uses it may help his authentic persona to become stronger. The WTBTS teaches JWs to say thought-stopping platitudes like "Where else shall we go?", "Wait on Jehovah.", "JWs are the happiest (or most loving, most trust-worthy, most caring, most giving, etc.) people in the world.", "The end is soo soon.", etc.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

103

That does it ! I'm leaving ! ! !

by Billy the Ex-Bethelite in

jw
friends

leaving the university with my degree!.

exams are finished and it's just a matter of days before i walk.. i was certainly stressed about doing this.

i'm older than my classmates and armageddon was sooooo close!

ABibleStudent

Congratulations!! Live long and prosper (free from the WTBTS)!!

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

17

Hey There...An Introduction to a Married IN nonDub (unbaptised pub)

by HeyThere in

jw
friends

hey there all, i just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and thank you all for this wonderful site and all the helpful discussions sich a loving arrangement .

my name may (or may not) be tracee.

i may (or may not) live in texas.

ABibleStudent

Welcome HeyThere, Thank you for sharing your experiences and I'm sorry that your husband is so gung-ho.

Have you read information by cult-exit conselors like Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering Peopel to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling Peope, Cults and Beleifs"), visited his website www.freedomofmind.com, and watched his FREE videos on his website?

Have you visited reputable websites like www.jwfacts.com, www.watchtowerdocuments.com, www.jwsurvey.org, and www.freeminds2.org to learn more about the WTBTS, its history, and its flip-flopping changes in doctrines? Have you read books by Raymond Franz (i.e., "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Seach of Christian Freedom") or Don Cameron's book (i.e., "Captives of a Concept")?

Since your husband does not want to associate with non-JWs and is throwing out smurf toys, he seems too "Spiritually Strong" (non-thinking) to help him critically think for himself. Is there a way to help him see that those life-changing events are not good reasons to become more active in the WTBTS? Does your husband love the WTBTS more than you and his children? If he does love you more, how would your husband react if you and all your children went on a three day vacation far from your home and explained why you do not believe that the WTBTS is God's channel for Christians by relating your individiual stories to him, the questions that caused you doubts about the WTBTS, and that you will never return to the WTBTS?

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

60

I had a funny feeling he was a Witness... and now I need help.

by noontide in

jw
friends

im in a bit of a bind and im not quite sure what (if anything) i can do about it.

i was recently hired as a business consultant for a rather large company.

the company that hired me mentioned that they are concerned about a certain department and the way its being run, as this department affects every other department in the company.

ABibleStudent

noontide - The only reason I even broached the subject of religion, is because I can clearly see that his JW mentality is affecting his work, and others see his JW behavior as strange (think newly indoctrinated Witness, who is very proud of his religion and you’ll get a sense of how he conducts himself). I can sympathize with this; I was once there myself.

I really wanted to help him and see him succeed; unfortunately I don't believe this will happen. I have taken over the HR department and am now instructing him how to run it. In the few weeks that I have been here, people are now coming to me and directing their questions and issues with me. This does not bode well for him. But ultimately it will be all about this job performance.

Hi noontide, How long has the director been a director and how long has he been a JW? What attibutes did the company see in him that made them choose him over other candidates?

Since you have taken over the department, he may already be searching for a new job. His ego may be seeing the writing on the wall.

If you want to help him, how do you feel he would respond to you offering to help him improve his interpersonal skills (and possibly other skills)? It would either push him to find a job quicker or he might try to change if he understood the effect he had on people and his department's performance.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

60

I had a funny feeling he was a Witness... and now I need help.

by noontide in

jw
friends

im in a bit of a bind and im not quite sure what (if anything) i can do about it.

i was recently hired as a business consultant for a rather large company.

the company that hired me mentioned that they are concerned about a certain department and the way its being run, as this department affects every other department in the company.

ABibleStudent

Hi noontide, Can you suggest to the company about doing a 360-deg evaluation of the director where you suggest specific questions to evaluate his performance? What metrics can you suggest to the company to measure the performance of the director's department?

I would suggest that you present to the company what you feel are important attributes for the director's performance. I would include being pro-active, having a vision, inspiring employees to work more effectively.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

1

organization against child abuse

by never a jw in

even though i have never been a jw, i hope just as much as many of you to bring the wt to its knees, even put it behind in the annals of history of millenarian religions.

one thing that gets me very very upset is the abuses commited against all children raised in a jw household.

the list is long.

ABibleStudent

Hi never a jw, I feel that you should follow your heart. Nothing is stopping you from writing to your Congressional representatives.

I have written numerous letters to my Congressmen/Congresswomen about changing tax laws for non-profit corporations. Although the WTBTS promotes to JWs actions that I feel border on emotional child abuse, I feel it would be better to limit any changes to tax laws to requiring that non-profit corporations must

Immediately report child abuse/molestation and other violent crimes such as rape to appropriate law enforcement before reporting it to the corporation's legal department,
Institute effective policies to protect children from member/volunteers/employees abusing/molesting children,
Promote tolerance of religious/racial/sexual differences and of physical/psychological/emotional handicaps, and
Avoid using Behavioral, Information, Thought, and Emotional (BITE) Control techniques (e.g., shunning, not associating with non-members) to "unduly influence" members and former members.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert