Welcome GoUnion, Do what you got to do to keep yourself sane and your wife happy. Keep on venting on JWN, so that you do not "Cross the Line" and vent your real feelings to your wife until she can critically think for herself. Be patient and compassionate with your wife and only ask her simple questions and encourage her to do independent research to find answers. Please read the thread exJW Psychology 102--How to Ask a Question When Questions Aren't Allowed by Billy the Ex-Bethelite so that you can ask stealth questions to JWs.
Even though the two elders, who you talked with, sounded reasonable, it is best that you keep your real feelings to yourself and only ask simple questions with a tone of voice that indicates you are asking for their help. It is also possible that the two elders may have doubts also, but they will probably follow the WTBTS's doctrines instead of protecting you.
You should read books by cult-exit counselors to help you heal, help your wife to critically think for herself, and to better communicate with JW family and friends. I would recommend reading Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visiting his website www.freedomofmind.com, and watching his FREE videos on his website. I would recommend watching Steve Hassan's How Big is the Phenomenon of Undue Influence? (2:01) and Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23).
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert