before i begin my introductory post, i would like to mention that a number of my initial comments here may be viewed by several of you as watchtower apologist or as sympathetic to the views of the jehovahs witnesses.
the last thing i want to do is incite a flame war regarding my legitimacy or intentions in joining this forum.
mostly, i would describe myself as on the fence.
Dontplaceliterature - You are an apostate. You have already defined yourself as an apostate when you indicated a problem with any of it's teachings, much less major teachings. You have apparently been apostate for quite some time. You can be, and will be disfellowshipped in a country minute if you voice those opinions publicly.
Welcome to the forum.
part 1 - my parents.
it's a funny thing, time.
notwithstanding einstein's relativity, time means vastly different things throughout life.
It felt like I could hear the boy inside you, so well did you explain.
most of you recognize that line from the godfather iii, which wasn't the greatest film in my opinion, but that line was classic.
it perfectly depicts my life as it stands now.
i'm at a crossroads in life, and my heart is being tugged in different directions.
This is certainly very absorbing. Not what I expected. I have somehow pictured you as shy...
i'm fully aware that this is a cult, and i was waiting for the social elements to kick in.
so far, i have just been doing the "bible study," discussing doctrine, etc.
however, recently one of the elders said he wants to get together with me to do other activities.
Oh, it's gonna happen.
at this very moment one year ago today my dh and i were in an "interview" with 2 elders in regards to a night out in late november 2009. that "interview" turned into my judicial committee with a 3rd elder who just happened to be at the hall that night........because of admitting to having been drunk on occassion over the years with the most recent being 2 years prior.
the "interview/impromtu judicial committee lasted almost 3 hours as they tried to convince me that i had stabbed jah and asked what i was going to do to correct my drinking habits.
i am not a huge drinker......just like to drink socially with friends once in a while.
Don't you feel now they did you a favor? Aren't you glad to be out?
by far not the most known here, i'm not the funniest, i don't reseach the new jw stuff or have much to say.
but, i'm reading this all the time.
i write when i think i have something to say.
Oh, yes I am addicted as well. I am seriously trying to wean myself little by little. I am spending entirely too much time here. I can't help myself.
I hope this takes the pressure off you emotionally. Do you feel free now?
do you ever feel that way about your jw past?
maybe i need more time?
i know that it is a lie.
Yes, and I will be heartbroken when my son and daughter-in-law shun me...
What a truly terrible policy. How unnatural.
this might sound a little strange but i hope some of you might understand.. my 17 year old boy is hot and heavy with his jw girlfriend.
he told me the other day that they had talked about getting married an two or three years, how they want to travel the world before having kids etc.
i asked him where getting baptised fitted into this, as they will need to be baptised if they want a kh wedding.
I did just go back and look at your older posts about your son, and it appears he just is turned seventeen right? Perhaps you should just let the whole thing blow over. He can't take any action yet anyway, right?
this might sound a little strange but i hope some of you might understand.. my 17 year old boy is hot and heavy with his jw girlfriend.
he told me the other day that they had talked about getting married an two or three years, how they want to travel the world before having kids etc.
i asked him where getting baptised fitted into this, as they will need to be baptised if they want a kh wedding.
It's the sex, of course. Even "worldly" kids don't think seriously about getting married that young. JW kids feel they have to marry to have it. A parent sound like a satyr to suggest anything else, I suppose.
I don't know all your personal circumstances, and what risks you assume in being straightforward with him. One thing I would mention though, is the danger that should he marry a JW girl, then his odds of staying in increase a lot. Yes, 50% of marriages end in divorce, but don't forget that 50% of them DON'T end in divorce. You are risking the lives of your grandchildren as well.
I was a born in who left before baptism, stayed out for 16 years, and then got all invigorated because I resumed bible study with a sister that I liked. This was followed by thirty years in "the truth" most of which I was vigorously active. I raised my kids in it, and my one son and daughter-in-law have spent their entire lives in full time service and have not had children due to their zeal for the work. She is probably too old to change her mind now, and it grieves me to know that my ignorance is the cause of this situation. Most people who knew me during the sixteen years I was out would NEVER have thought there would be a day when I would be so IN! You just never know what the future will bring.
It is for this reason that my sister is going to discuss this with her own daughter, who is a "casual" JW. Who knows whether her grandson will be casual or zealous, wll attend or not attend college etc, or will marry someone like that? She feels that she must take the risk.
It is because I don't want my son and daughter-in-law to spend any more time in a work and life that is not for and to the purpose of truly serving god, not an organization that I intend to speak frankly with him. I gave most of my life to this. It has to stop here. My son is an elder, holding two of the top positions in the congregation, serves as the head of the hospital liason committee, is a full time pioneer, and a former bethelite, is active on the body of elders of the RBC committee in our state, and is a convention overseer. He is the golden boy of the circuit and district, and the darling of the CO and DO. Given that, I expect that I will be quickly disfellowshipped. I am going to do it anyway. He is my firstborn, my child whom I dearly love, (as much as all my others who will certainly leave) and I have to do this as his mother. I don't feel that I have a choice. It is a moral obligation as far as I am concerned.
All that being said, EVERYONE IS IN DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES!!! These are only my own thoughts and opinions and are no better or worse than anyone else's. I only offer these as something to consider in making your decisions.
You have to do what you think is right in YOUR circumstances, given the personalities and inclinations of everyone involved.
The very best of luck to you. I hope you let us know what you decide, because I learn from the experiences of others, as we all do.
