I went through a few "Sheparding" calls when I became irregular/ inactive. Funny thing was the best one I got was from one brother who claimed to be of the anointed, he was older and wasn't an elder, but he was a pioneer. He acted like he actually cared about me. He was later disfellowshipped over something I do not know anything about. He was involved in a car wreck on his way to the meeting a few weeks later and killed.......But I digress.
I found that if you just act very troubled by doubts......like you are anguishing, they are much more empathetic than if you take on an accusatory tone.
I agree with S77. It's your house, your turf. Make sure you appear humble, but take them to task, respectfully when they bring up things that are in error......like "The Faithful and Discreet Slave has provided us with plenty of spiritual food to keep us spiritually strong, and to encourage us....blah blah blah......" Just ask them to explain the FDS arrangement......We all know they won't be able to because there are so many holes in it. Then, they will see you have legitimate reasons to be discouraged.
I know it's not very well thought out, but just putting in my $.02
Good to see you posting again, BD.